Re: Quiet and Contemplation [Saya]

Sat Jul 24, 2021 5:08 pm

There was such thing as private fuinjutsu contractors? Quite frankly, she hadn’t heard of such a thing. While there was always the opportunity for ninjutsu to be applied in more mundane aspects of life, it was generally understood that specialists who applied their abilities to purely noncombat aspects were few and far between. Perhaps she could seek them out, one of these days? Surely an organization such as that would have many things that she could learn from, given enough time to do so.

Listening to Ai’s explanation of the minor details of the construction of the house, Kikuko couldn’t help but mentally recategorize her respect for the Senju a notch higher. The ability to manipulate her wood style to such a precise degree, to the point of even being able to create livable abodes, was quite frankly extraordinary. Theoretically, she could solve homelessness after natural disasters with that sort of power. Then again, she didn’t know the full limitations and repercussions of using such techniques. Perhaps it would be worth asking some time in the future?

“Honestly, I’m surprised that you didn’t get in trouble for building underground. You know that people still technically own what’s underneath their house, right?” Still, she would let out a hearty laugh at the explanation. It was so ‘Saya’ that there wasn’t much more that she could add to it. Who else would decide to build a reverse mansion when confronted with such small building constraints? As much as she worried for her, at the same time she always found herself impressed with the imagination and ingenuity of her fellow Kunoichi. Taking a seat on a nearby couch as Saya sat down, she would listen as she began to speak.

Slowly, her cheer would melt off of her face as Saya explained the previous day’s events. It seems that she hadn’t been the only one who had a rough time fulfilling their duties, as of late. Now, how to breach the subject? It was a delicate, awkward thing to go into grand detail on. Still, they had to at least try, now? Sitting up from her previous, distant position, she would instead sit down right next to Saya. Placing a soft hand upon her head.

“You’ve had it rough, huh?” She would smile at her, a gentle yet somehow sad gesture. “You’ve been pushing yourself really hard lately. I can tell. And it must be so frustrating. Being forced to confront things you don’t want to confront. Barriers that don’t break as easily as you’d expect them to.”

“How are you feeling, Saya? Be honest, please.”

=====
[2102]

Sat Jul 24, 2021 6:56 pm

"WH. Why would I get in trouble for the underground building? I...um... Is that right?!" Saya shifted from confused to embaraced as Kiku explained her thoughts. She hadn't even considered that her families ownership of this plot, and hers by proxy, wouldn't extend to underground. How could someone own the rights to underground?! She could hear Pinochio's words ringing in her head, and was thankful he wasn't here to witness this folley. 'I told you specifically you would probably need the rights to do this, but you just shrugged and ignored me as usual. ' Yep. That's exactly what he would say. Thankfully he was NOT here to remind her that when she was planning this whole affair he'd brought that up as an issue that could cause problems later on down the line. She'd had the construction done underground through ninja magic, choosing to do large portions of it herself using her ninjutsu, and so far no one realized that underneath an obnoxiously sized section of this street was a secret mansion. He was probably overreacting anyway.

"Pinochio DID tell her that, but she almost immediately forgot about it when she had the idea that she could add an indoor sauna like we had spent time in at the training center. We heavily pushed her away from the Idea and I considered that a win." Ai slid one of the large chairs over to sit to her sister's right, providing a lounging chair for Kiku should she wish. She gave a soft smile when their friend chose to sit on the couch beside her sister instead. This was a good plan.

"I dunnno. I mean. Like. I feel powerful? But the moment the target escaped out the window it was like I was back at home in the Island country, listening to my mother scoff because I couldn't learn a few simple jutsu. Or roll her eyes because I couldn't remember which fork I was supposed to eat my cake with. Or like watching her lock my bedroom door so I couldn't come out and bug the 'very important guests' that were coming for tea. Kiku I hope you never have to deal with what Daiko and I did. Can you even imagine seeing the look on someones face as the last of their life drains out, and knowing you or your team was the cause of it?" She had no clue. She couldn't even imagine that the sweet butterfly summoner would be able to understand the horrors of having taken a life. This, my dear readers is called forshadowing.

(TWC 2233)

Sun Jul 25, 2021 9:00 pm

Oh. It hadn’t been her intent to frighten Saya- far from it, to be frank. However, it seemed that her gentle warning had been received with no small amount of alarm. Would events come to pass in which she would receive judgement for her impromptu house expansion? Perhaps, or perhaps not. Just in case, she would keep her lips sealed on the subject. It’s not like anybody needed to know, right? She wasn’t hurting anybody. Plus, it wasn’t as though it was an inherently malicious act, or that she was attempting to steal land from her neighbors. She just wanted to expand with wat limited living space she owned. A strange little situation, it was.

Listening to Ai’s explanation of the conversation between the siblings, she would nod gently. It was totally like Saya to lose sight of potential setbacks or dangers in search of that which she found immediately gratifying or interesting. While there were situations where such behavior could become a danger, she couldn’t fully fault that sort of a mindset when it ultimately brought so much fun to both her and other’s lives. In some ways, she supposed that was what it meant to be ‘the life of the party’. She would note the offered lounging chair before waving with her absent hand. She would be good where she was, for now.

“Power comes in all different forms, Saya.” A gentle hand on the forehead. Soft, careful, feather-light. “There’s the one that most people think about- physical power. It’s how we impact the words around us by force. But there are other powers too. Power over our thoughts- to do what is right even when it is hard. And there is the power to process our emotions- to understand ourselves even in our moments of great pain and anguish. Unfortunately, that is one that many people spend their whole lives without grasping. Still, you’re doing your best.”

And then, just like that, Saya’s words stuck into her like a knife in the back. Ah, but she didn’t know. How could she? It wasn’t as though she had told her earlier. The reason why she had been moping all by her lonesome was still there. Lurking just below the surface, waiting, watching. If she wasn’t careful, it would consume her. Leave her a shell of what she once was. Some might say that such a fate would be her karma. Her mouth tasted like bile.

“...Don’t forget their faces, Saya.” Her voice would tremble for a moment, but she would steel herself before continuing. Forming a frame with her fingers before dropping them into her own lap. “We’re both Shinobi. As part of our duties, there will come times that we’re called upon to defend our village and the people who live in it. Sometimes that means that we’ll come into conflict with other people. Sometimes, yes, we’ll be forced to confront the terrible reality of kill or be killed. But don’t forget their faces. That’s what separates us from murderers. We must bear that responsibility.”

Her knuckles are as white as a sheet.

======
[2618]

Sun Jul 25, 2021 9:18 pm

Her explaination made alot of sense... Until it didn't. She'd always considered her ability to navigate social situation, her skill in brightening someones day, the way she would flit and fleet about the world with a beaming smile, and share her joy to break up the monotomy around her, as an incredible power. Then there was her ninjutsu. She could remember many many times having destroyed enormous portions of the training room, creating entire groves, and now summoning vines of incredibly power. They were lithe bits of branch, plant protection that felt like nothing she'd ever experienced. But like. What is this dealing with emotions crap? That didn't exist. Why would anyone need to process their emotions when they could just push those feelings off into a partition of their own mind so a puppet could deal with it?! Having to actually stop and confront the feelings that have built up sounded like a real great way to fail at opperation brighten the world.

Maybe that was the point though? Until now she'd been able to just ignore her history. Even before creation, Ai was there, loving her, looking after her, and holding the truth of her story. Now, as things spilled over, she found herself shaken to her very core.

"Remember their faces. Hey Kiku... Can. I mean. I'll just ask it. What would you say is the worst thing you've ever done? how long did it take you before you didn't see it every time you closed your eyes? If I don't focus on ignoring it. I can feel the pulsing of chakra as my foo statues bit down. I can feel the sinew tear. I can hear the sounds of her arms being cut off.... Her legs. I struggle to use the jutsu after that. Even though I know their fresh, i swear I can still see specs of blood on their face. " Two arms slid down over the top of the couch as she spoke. Ai wrapped her arms around the girl from behind. She leaned forward over the couch to bring her sister close. She didn't have the warmth of human touch, but she could at least do this much.

"It wasn't you Aya. I took that burden. I cast the jutsu that killed her. I trapped her in my own threads, called forth the jutsu, and ensured she could never throw an attack at you again. " Her chin rested on the stop of Saya's head, allowing her to shift as kiku did what she would to comfort. She was a good girl, and both sisters wanted more than anything to protect her. Realistically they wanted to protect everyone they'd met so far, but Kiku would have found a way where they couldn't Kiku wouldn't have finished the mission staring down at a dead body.

"I'll never forget her face, but honestly that wasn't even what screwed me up.. Afterwards there was a hideout. We found the place from a note in the girl's headband and went to go investigate."

(TWC 2738)

Mon Jul 26, 2021 3:27 pm

Words are such a curious idea. They communicate ideas, concepts, constructs where otherwise vague gestures fail to get across. At the same time, however, they’re slippery things. The meaning of what one wants to say versus what they actually say often can be two very different things, sometimes causing disastrous results. At other times, one lacks the capability and vocabulary to express that which they want to portray- an equally undesirable situation. For once, Kikuko found that her words were betraying her. The feelings inside her, like a maelstrom ready to break its bindings, found themselves unable to breath. They were suffocating, heavy, painful.

Just because she expressed herself didn’t mean that it hurt any less. That it didn’t feel like she was about to explode. Why? What was the point, if it didn’t feel any less terrible?

“...I still see it whenever I close my eyes.” She admits. Her eyes glassy, far away. “I don’t know when it’ll stop. If it’ll ever stop. But I caused it, and I can’t undo it. And because of that, I’m dealing with the consequences.” Deep breathes. In. Out. Control your breathing.

“It was a D-Rank mission- although it should have been filed under a more severe category.” Kikuko would begin. “An arsonist was torching a series of buildings and needed to be brought to justice. Remember that string of fires a few weeks back? Not all of those were natural. Anyways. I found the arsonist- a girl.”

And…

“...And I moved to bring her in. I didn’t even ask questions. I had all the evidence I thought I needed.” Her voice would shake with emotion. “But I was sloppy. Scared. Terrified. I didn’t think about the damage I was causing with my own techniques. I put six civilians in the hospital from collateral that occurred. And the girl?” The kunoichi would laugh shakily.

“I still don’t understand why. Why she reached out to the fire. I didn’t want to kill her. I wanted to save her. But then the building collapsed on top of her. And all of a sudden, it was over. I never even touched her once. But I didn’t need to do that to kill her. How terrible is that?”

“I could try and blame shift it onto Gafas. Technically, it was her technique that landed the killing blow. That disabled her before she was crushed. But I was her summoner. I was the one who engaged with violence. And because of that, she died.”

Shaking her head, she would look downwards. “But I can’t turn back time. Please, continue Saya. What happened after you found the hideout?”

=====

[3057]

Mon Jul 26, 2021 4:06 pm

Saya watched as Kiku suddenly got very intense. Was there some secret past she had been too afraid to talk about until now? That didn't seem plausible. Kiku was so much like she was. She would never actually hurt a fly if she could help it. Right? As Kiku spoke, it was like ninshu activated all over again. Did that even make sense? Were they connected after the ability shared their memories the first time? No. This was quite different. This was a shared pain. She couldn't see the face of the girl Kiku was describing. As she described the scene it was the taijutsu user whose face appeared in her mind. Completely on instinct, Saya slid her legs down from the couch, scooting over until she was close enough to pull kiku into an embrace as she explained.

"I had heard about the fires. I wanted to check in on that at some point but I got so busy. I can't believe someone would be so cruel." It was amazing how two people could have experiences so similar. On instinct, Saya began to hum softly, a gentle melody she remembered her caregivers singing to her when she felt overwhelmed. It was barelly audible, but warm in tone as it gently shifted across the staff in time to her explanation. How was this even possible. Sure there was a difference between someone setting things on fire and someone walking directly up to a group of people and trying to punch a whole through their heart was pretty stark, but the intention behind the actions was clear, and the result seemed a mirror they both had to deal with. She would sit in silence, gently stroking Kiku's arm to comfort her unless there was an indication that it wasn't welcome. She couldn't even think of saying anything until her friend finished her whole story.

"I. It happened to you too huh? Kiku listen... I don't want to say I know how you feel but I'm actually a little afraid of how similar our experiences were. When you described... I mean. I could see it, but with HER face instead. I'm sorry I wasn't there. I would have been beside you had I known and maybe things could have been different. " Any thoughts of her own troubles were gone. The goal now was to look after her friend and help her heal from this trauma. How had she not noticed the pain hidden behind her eyes? Was she really that caught up in herself?

"It's like you said right, sometimes we're tasked with dealing with bad people. I don't want to hurt anyone either, but sometimes we have to take drastic action against those who choose evil to protect those they would hurt. I talked to Niko once, and he said war was always going to be an inevitability.... I commented that it was only inevitable until we gave a better option, but we have to stop those who choose the easy path of violence however neccessary, so that the path of peace seems ideal yea?"

(TWC 3252)

Tue Jul 27, 2021 7:53 pm

Ah, but those eyes hurt. It was a terrible thing, to see the perception of oneself change in the eyes of another. It signified growth, yes, but at the same time there was a yearning for that which once was. Like the ticking of the clock, what was said can never be taken back. It would remain, changing their relationship, lines drawn in the sand that wouldn’t be washed away. Or rather, were they redefined? And who was to say that the lines divided them? It was complicated, difficult, hard to determine. That was the fleeting, wispy nature of such heavy topics. It was a pain that both of them had experienced. In that, they could find comfort through each other. But at the same time, it nagged at her soul. Such pain could not be so easily overcome. She would hug Saya close as she continued to explain. Kami, please don’t let her cry. She wouldn’t be able to put herself back together if she cried. Please. She didn’t ask for much. Just this little thing. Putting herself together as Saya spoke, she would nod along almost absently.

But then Saya began to hum. Such a gentle, soft melody. It was kind, it was loving, it was full of a gentle sort of care. And then the floodgates began to open. Soft tears welling at the edges of her eyes before rolling downwards, staining her clothes. For this brief moment, the kunoichi- no, her trusted friend- was a life raft in a terrible storm of emotions. Self loathing, hatred, pain ignored and pushed away welling to the surface and washing away with each tear until all that was left was a feeling of emptiness.

Yet she still cared for her. Saya didn’t push her away. Didn’t decry her, call her a monster, a fake, a fraud. She treated her like a human. And for that moment, it meant everything.

“You couldn’t have known.” She would smile ruefully, despite it all. “I would have been there for you too, you know? You silly girl. Aren’t we teammates? That’s what we do.”

“The path of peace. Yeah.” With a shaky laugh, she would nod. Blinking tears out of her eyes. “I didn’t become a shinobi to hurt people. I became one to help people. I guess that means we’ll have to keep trying, huh? We can’t give up here.”

=====

[3455]

Tue Jul 27, 2021 8:40 pm

This was how friendships were made, she had decided for herself. While Saya was the type to always have people around, It was rare for her to really and truely be able to call someone friend. She'd come across nearly everyone in the village, and there were as many who lit up when she walked down the street as scoffed, but could she actually be this vulnerable with any of them? Daiko maybe. She wasn't sure. There was something about the way daiko was that cheered her up when she was feeling not quite enough, but she struggled to see them really going into any topics heavier than what cool new jutsu they'd just learned. Maybe that was because she'd seen through his own mask and they were different. Maybe it was because she could feel his pulse quicken with excitement when hers beat with fear. Honestly, it was probably just the distance. They hadn't really been around each other that much since the missions, and had never really had the chance to talk about anything serious. Either way she would absolutely classify him in the friend category, but this... This was different.

She leaned forward reflexively. When she felt overwhelmed there was a thing she would always do with her sister. They would sit, leaning forward, forhead to forhead, and just say nothing until she felt better. Now she sat leaning towards her friend--no. Towards her best friend, and as their skin touched, forhead to forhead, She too would release absolutely everything. It would be minutes in near silence as only sobs carried across the brightly lit living room area. Then Kiku would speak again.

"No. Thats not. We aren't teammates anymore..." She let the statement hang in the air probably a little too long. She was still fighting the sobs that ripped through her chest, taking the air and cutting her voice. There was no way she could know what Kiku had been thinking. No way she could realize that the suggestion would give her several moments assuming she was right before she finally spoke again. "We... We're best friends. Best friends who are going to change the ninja world together. That's all there is to it. The butterfly princess and the cosplay queen." She smiled a bit as her breath calmed. She was almost laughing. Kiku was laughing too. They'd made it out of the dark it seemed.

"I became a shinobi because my mother wanted me out of sight and out of mind. If I wasn't a prodigy, then I was an embaracement. Like of the family of feudal lords i guess... But I swore to help people too, and that's what we're gonna do. " Sitting up she'd offer her pinky finger to Kiku. If they linked together, she'd continue. "We won't ever give up. We'll find a way to save the world, and show everyone that cruelty is a choice. There are other ways, and they're just as good. This is my ninja way, and I will not fail... With you."

(TWC 3758)

Wed Jul 28, 2021 7:54 pm

Bonds were a special, incredible thing. They didn’t form overnight. Rather, they couldn’t. No, bonds were formed in the same way that a sword is hewn from a block of metal. With time, heat, effort, pain. Sometimes, even blood. But when that masterpiece is lifted from the flames and set to cool, what remains is a beautiful thing far greater than the raw materials it once was. Something in Kikuko’s heart of hearts told her that such a thing was being formed right in this very moment.

It wasn’t as though she had very few friends. As a child she had been exuberantly social and such qualities hadn’t ever left her even into adulthood, leaving her with several contacts with which she would catch lunch with every once in a while. But her coworkers, she had found, each had their own story to tell far different than that of her childhood friends. They had suffered pain, loss, hardships. And right now, in her lowest moment, she had a shoulder to cry on. Not one that stood there without recognition of loss, but one of somebody who had suffered pain equally and thus knew pain.

There was something here that just made sense. As there foreheads touched, there was a warmth. The pain wasn’t any less real. It still ached inside of her, hurt, ate at her being. And yet, in that same breath, there was something inside of her that said that everything was going to be just fine today. Saya’s head was warm. It was anchoring.

But if they weren’t teammates, then what were they? If that was how things were, if this had been too much for her friend to accept, then she would be lost. Something inside of her would surely break. She could feel it. Like little shards of glass slowly littering the floor. Bit, by bit, by bit. Best friends…

Yeah. They were best friends. How could they not be? They had fought together. Trained together. Ate together. In times both sorrowful and joyful, they had one another’s back. If that wasn’t a special bond, then she wasn’t sure what was. It was something she wanted to protect. It was something that she would protect. Because if she couldn’t protect such a smile, then she wouldn’t be able to face herself.

“You’re no embarrassment, Sayatria.” She would link pinkies with her, the last of her tears finally leaving. “You’re an amazing kunoichi, and an amazing person. Your family doesn’t know what they lost by pushing you aside.”

“Even if it’s hard. Let’s make this world a better place together. We can do it, if we try.”

======

[3896]

Wed Jul 28, 2021 9:01 pm

She only gave a nod. What else was there even to say? It took her several moments for the statement about her mother's perception of her to even hit her mind. Well. That wasn't true. It didn't really hit her mind. It was actually Ai who shived at the comment, her gentle smile shifting to a grin she quickly tried to supress. The cruelties of her childhood was Ai's burden. The greatest gift she could give her little sisters was protection from the control of her mother, and the manipulations put in place to try and justify what was never her mistake. She'd made the choice to fall in love. She was so broken when he left her, she could never forgive Saya, but for what? For being born? No. With their new power, they would wash their hands of the Tass family. She was no longer Sayatria Tass.

As the two had their moment, Ai unwrapped her arms from around her sister's neck. With a small pout, Saya glanced back for a moment before she realized that there was little that could break her from the moment she was having with Kiku. No. She needed to be present in this more than anything she could remember. Both girls needed right now to know that there was someone who understood their pain, and this small moment in time formed an unbreakable bond. She didn't even notice the sensation around her neck as Ai slipped away. She'd removed the necklace that sat right above her sternum. THE necklace. Her gift for having reached C rank, that held the rain village symbol and the crest of her clan. As she moved away, the elevator door opened. It was pinochio?

My dear listeners. I have been with our protagonist for a long time, but sometimes she still manages to surprise me. I cannot, with every bit of whit held in my being and an entire script of how this scene is supposed to go, understand why she would bring pinochio into the--oh. Oh! There it is. In his hands, he held two large bangles. They were probably about six inches wide, silver, and on the top and bottom, emblazoned in a vibrant green, was the symbol of the senju clan. This was symbolic. While they hadn't spoken about it yet, she was of the power to finally be able to wear symbols of who she was outardly displayed, and with the removal of the rain countries logo, this was the moment when she officially shed the dark cloak of her mother and stepped out as herself.

"We will. We'll find lots of friend who will help us, and you and I, and daiko too will find a way to change the ninja world. When times get hard, and we have to make choices we don't like... Choices to cause pain to protect the greater good, we'll do that together. From this day forward Kikuko I'll be your strength and you can be mine! "

(TWC 4258)