Meet the baby (Aki)

Vaneda held little Azura in his arms, cradling her as if she were her own. He stood watchful in front of the hospital, rocking the infant in his arms, the feeling of attachment so close to taking hold it was driving the Jashin priest up a wall. He had to get rid of her in the least bloody way possible and that was why he had called Akihana here. He had sent her a letter stating that he needed to see her, that it was urgent, that it could not wait and for her to come to the hospital. He prayed to lord Jashin above she had received his letter and was on her way here fore the kid's gurgles of joy almost made him not want to give it away. The very emotions this living ball of heresy brought up in him tore at the foundations of what he believed, it wrecked havoc on his views about the world, making him WANT to give mercy without any direct gain to himself or the village. The Raikage didn't let him kill the child when he had the chance, nor would he let him now that he placed it in his care. All he could do now is hope that he was right and Akihana was willing to have another child. If not... he was in for the worst 10-12 years of his life, forced to raise a baby, tortured with the temptation of an easy sacrifice and..... cleaning up after it... A life Vaneda loathed to the very core.

The priest shifted foot to foot as he waited eagerly outside the medical center, cooing disgustingly adorable sounds at the baby in some attempt to keep her quiet. Azura could be such a little ball of fire if she didn't get the attention she wanted. She'd scream and cry and kick and turn... Vaneda would be forced to sit with her until she fell silent, restraining himself from impaling her on his staff... He remembered that sometimes, he'd get up to try and get his own sleep, the moment he left the room, Azura was off like a siren. He remembered those long, sleepless nights, shifting from calming the child to hours of waiting, to an attempt at sleep and repeat. Play... Yes, as his caretaker, he was required to 'play' with the tyke. She was a tough one, he gave her that. The times his temper wasn't in complete control, Vaneda sometimes accidentally threw a ball too hard or accidentally knocked her with a plastic maraca and she got right up as if nothing ever happened. He blinked, his brow furrowed in frustration. No... there was no redeeming qualities about this infant. Thats why he was giving it away... its only use was as a tool to further his goals, nothing more, nothing less. It wasn't a human. It was a tool. And it would serve him better in Akihana's arms than in his. The priest seemed extremely unsettled, growing moreso as time passed. He knew that Aki had just been married off to the raikage. Even though he wasn't there to witness it himself, word spread. He knew this was possibly the worst time to give her the child, right after being married off to her polar opposite but he just... couldn't... wait any longer... There was no more time to wait for ideal conditions. Vaneda glanced down the street heading into the market.

"Aki..." he mumbled under his breath, purposefully avoiding eye-contact with the child. "Where are you...?"

Being married was turning out to be almost the same as life before had been. These days, Akihana found herself busier than ever tending to almost every aspect of the village Youka had run for the last two years. Whether the Raikage too was similarly busy or simply trying to give her space to adjust, the blonde didn't know. She made sure to leave notes for him everyday letting him know where she'd be should he require her presence. She also made sure to prepare meals but was often too busy to see if they ever made it out of the containers she left them in. Youka had long since admitted he didn't need to eat as much as normal people did but wives cooked - at least that was what the medic had always been taught. Growing up, Akihana had seen her mother almost a permanent fixture in their kitchen, whether her father was hungry or not.

She had learned much later that was where her Oka-sama soaked the senbons in poison and then distributed it to other women of the village.

She was cooking that morning too when a letter had arrived from her Blessed Friend, Vaneda. The chunin who had delivered it had stared in awe at her for a moment before realizing his rudeness and averting his gaze. In response, Akihana had ushered him in and send him back with a box of freshly baked and glazed doughnuts. Her hbit of making extra food hadn't let her down yet.

Leaving the Raikage's meal marked cleanly in a container along with a note about going to the hospital to see Vaneda, she left the house as soon as she could. Her friend sounded like he needed her quickly and she only hoped he wasn't hurt. Though if he was, at least he would be getting help at the hospital. Dressed in simple jeans and an emerald green blouse, the kunoichi decided to leave her cloak behind. She constantly put her faith in people after all, perhaps a little bit of it was due on the weather remaining nice for the next few hours.

If she had thought she would have to navigate the halls of the hospital to find out what became of the priest, she was wrong for he was right outside the building, waiting for her at the main entrance with the most beautiful surprise in his arms. As she arrived, Vaneda was cooing happily at a baby held protectively to his chest.

"Hi there," the blonde greeted, sweeping a stray lock of gold out of her eye and bowing her head down to gaze upon the baby girl. "Oh, she is absolutely beautiful," Akihana spoke, reaching out to brush the baby' forehead with a light kiss. "Who is this charming young lady?"

Vaneda smiled, as he finally caught sight of Akihana coming his way, dressed in very simple jeans and a green blouse. One could hardly begin to imagine the priest's relief to see she had got his message. Akihana was practically what equated to his messiah in this matter. He only hoped that he made a convincing enough argument for her to save his soul.

"Hey..." He responded back, giving a smile that appeared he only had one or two sleepless nights. He wondered if she could see the bags under his eyes, the relative weakness in his posture and the fact he was running on the debilitating mixture of adrenaline and various cups of coffee. He could feel his insides beginning to rot already with this unnatural amount of caffeine plaguing his system for the first time. A happy person he was not. Aki asked about the girl he held in his arms and as she exclaimed Azura's beauty and kissed her on the forehead, the priest's smile grew a little wider. He was making progress with only one word spoken. Akihana had already taken an interest in the child and soon, she would be ready to take it off his hands. At least, if that wasn't his drastically slashed patience from not having more than 3 hours of sleep every night for the past couple of days talking. When she asked who this "charming young lady" was, Vaneda smirked. Yeah, that was a word for her if you spoke in the heaviest of sarcasms. Unfortunately, he didn't think Aki was and that brightened his day just a bit.

"Her name is Azura..." Vaneda responded, forcing a genuine-looking smile down at the kid, internally recoiling as the baby smiled back up at him with those red eyes of hers. He looked back at Aki, slightly amused at what he was going to say next. "She's not mine... well... not biologically anyway. Shall we walk?" He would nod in the direction that lead back into the village, though granted, it was far less busy than the market. Last thing he needed was the child getting unnerved by all the people talking and such. Hearing her go on another tirade might just do Vaneda in faster than any blade. If Aki decided to walk with him, he would explain the purpose of him calling on her.

"You see... I didn't... you know... participate in bringing Azura into the world. I found her abandoned the side of the road, dangerously close to being trampled by the population who were too busy to look down. Of course, acting as any good and kind soul would, I picked her up and took her home with me. I guess you could say that my experience was less than stellar." As if to emphasize his point, Vaneda let out a yawn so long, it brought tears to his eyes. "She... uh... is a fiery one..." He glanced at Aki and shrugged lightly. "I guess what I'm trying to say is... that I can't take care of her for much longer. Not that I couldn't take the challenge... I'd face it readily, eagerly if it meant bringing a new life into the world but... I was caught completely unprepared at the absolute worst of times. I don't believe in nurseries, that they can take care of her the way she deserves to be..." He glanced up at Aki, his ocean blue eyes meeting her golden yellow ones.

"You said you had children of your own... That means you have experience, yes? I hate to even ask you this but you're the only one I trust with her life fully. Will you take care of Azura?"

"Hello there Azura," Akihana greeted the baby when Vaneda introduced her, a soft smile prominent on her lips as her friend continued to speak of the child. He had apparently done a great kindness in saving the baby from a terrible fate but like anyone who found themselves unexpectedly in the position of a parent, he was not coping well.

"Let me guess, she cries throughout the night and doesn't come with an off switch?" the blonde laughed, extending a hand to take the baby gently into her arms, balancing the infant's head in the crook of her elbows. Azura was a truly beautiful baby. And for all of Vaneda's misgivings, she seemed to be very contented in his arms as proven by when Akihana transferred the baby to herself.

A tiny hand lingered toward the priest, clutching at his shirt absently. Little Azura obviously liked her big brother, consciously and subconsciously added with a grin as they wlked. . "Oh, looks like someone doesn't want to let go" Akihana cooed, motioning at the baby's small fingers wrapped around Vaneda's shirt. "She already loves you," the blonde added as they walked, keeping a slow pace to ensure Azura didn't lose her grip on Vaneda.

When he spoke of trusting her to Akihana's care however, the kunoichi grew serious, there smile sliding off her face. "Having a baby, or deciding to take one into your care, is the most wonderful thing that can ever happen to you, my friend," she began, her golden eyes now trained on the priest as the baby cuddled warmly against her. "Why don't we find a park bench somewhere and sit down, maybe talk about it. Or you can take a short nap while I play with Azura here?" she suggested with a slight laugh.

Vaneda attempted to hand off Azura when Aki asked for her but as he did, he felt a slight tug on the front of his coat. He looked down and saw that the baby had latched onto him, apparently not wanting to let him go. Aki seemed to notice this too and the priest's jaw clenched just a bit as she said Azura already loved him. Sometimes, being a priest of Lord Jashin was far more taxing than he thought it should. This baby for example, Vaneda would have eagerly taken her home with him in another life and let her grow along side him. Thats just who he was beneath the entangled roots of Jashinism. It was the thing that gave him motivation, gave him strength and power through all these years but under these teachings, he couldn't help bring a life into the world... It was heresy and heretics were a shame to everything any priest tried to accomplish in life. He could not reciprocate the love this child showed for him. He would not. He would reinforce this crumbling barrier between them or all is lost.

When he tried to explain how he was unable to care for this child, Aki's smile slipped right off, being replaced with a serious, thin straight line. She said that having a child is the greatest thing that could ever happen to him and, to his surprise, Vaneda nodded without any hesitation.

"I know..." He sighed, forlorn, glancing from the child to Aki before taking the kid's hand from his jacket and holding it in his own. Azura's hand was soft and smooth in his, her fingers now curling around his thumb. That wall was coming down just looking at her and how persistent she was to stay with him. It didn't even nauseate him and that was scary. This child was coming before Jashin? How could this be? How is this immature sacrifice managing take priority over Jashin himself, the god of all there is? When Aki suggested they find a bench, Vaneda nodded. He certainly wouldn't complain. The coffee in his system was already wearing off and that adrenaline wouldn't stay for too much longer either so finding a place to sit down for a while was something he couldn't resist. The moment Aki lead them to a park bench, the priest would be the first to flop onto it's seat, leaning himself against the back at an angle that almost made him slip off. He would remain silent as Aki offered to play with Azura and letting him nap before his eyes inevitably fell back on the baby. He swallowed. Hard. Everything about this was hard when it was supposed to be easy WHICH made it even more hard. A vicious cycle.

"Thank you Aki..." He mumbled, his eyelids drooping. Those pick-me-ups don't last very long, do they. "You're a great friend......" And with that, the Priest was out like a light, catching up on the sleep he didn't get.

He seemed to agree with her words as she assured him how good the baby would be for him in time. As they walked towards the bench, Vaneda now grasping Azura's tiny hand as her fingers curled around his thumb in a universal gesture of baby affection, the soft smile returned to her face. Using her free hand, the kunoichi made a slight gesture, more out of habit than necessity and a golden orb appeared a few feet ahead of them, instantly sucking in any dark or malevolent energy in the area. Azura didn't need any sadness right now, only happiness and love.

"I was about your age when I first became a mom," she recounted as they made their way to a bench. "It was the most frightening thing in the world because i was all alone and i had no clue what to do. The first year after my son was born, i woke up at night thinking I'd accidentally hurt him somehow - when I was lucky enough to sleep of course." The blonde remembered those days all too well. How scared she'd been, how much Arata used to cry, how much of a failure she thought herself to be.

"And the most important lesson I learned was that it was okay to ask for help," she continued as they sat down, Akihana now taking the baby fully into her arms. The golden orb now streaked with threads of red moving to her side to keep the baby safe as Vaneda mumbled something that clearly meant he needed sleep. "So I'll help you as much as i can," she finished, grinning down at the priest slumped tiredly on the bench. "But I can't raise her for you.I would never take away that joy from you, my blessed friend."

Those would be the last words Vaneda would hear before he dozed off, making both Akihana and Azura giggle simultaneously. "Looks like you made him super tired, Azura," the kunoichi whispered, reaching to tickle the child's stomach and launching the baby into another fit of giggles. "Though I'm sure he doesn't mind. I'll tell you a secret," the blonde continued, bending her head down to the baby in her arms and whispering.

"He may not tell you how much he loves you, but I know he already does. And I also know he's going to take great care of you, isn't he now?" The baby only drooled but her twinkling eyes were agreement enough. Over the course of the next hour, the two females let the priest sleep, playing on the bench, taking a walk and Akihana even feeding the baby and burping her when she guaged Azura to be hungry. A small amount of medical evaluation proved the baby was in peak health and very curious about the world around her, something that didn't surprise Akihana one bit.

"What do you say, should we wake him now?" the medic whispered, settling back down on the bench where Vaneda was still fast asleep. As if in response, Azura let out a loud baby yell, probably jarring the young man from his rest.

Vaneda awoke with a calmly from his sleep, equipped with the strength to take the child back to his house and raise it as his own. He would abandon Jashin and his dark ways, leading only to a life of blissful, if challenging happiness along side his adopted daughter.

At least, that would have been preferable. Vaneda had a nightmare as he slept, one that prevented him from gaining any sleep for his trouble. He drempt he was floating in a cold blackness of tangled threads, each one tearing at his being, ripping him asunder as he tried to struggle free. Once his body was in shambles, he felt his mind go next, his thoughts scrambling, his memories rotting and once he couldn't remember his name, out went his emotions. Even through all that... he sensed a presence at the source of his suffering... a source that was a baby.

Vaneda awoke with a jolt, appearing far more wasted than he was when he attempted rest. He looked beside him to see Aki sitting there with Azura, smiling her welcoming grin and the baby smiling her clueless. He looked at them both tiredly before his face hardened into an expression not quite readable. He sat up straight on the bench, not saying anything for several moments. One minute passed. Then two. Almost three went by before he spoke up, his voice strained.

"Akihana... For the first time, I'm going to tell you the truth about me. All that I told you? It was either a lie or not the whole truth. Have you ever heard of the Jashin priests? They worship a dark god, as the name suggests... They kill for his pleasure in such perverse ways.... They...." He paused. "I had a friend once.... He was one of those priests but I didn't know that yet... We were young... I was just learning the ways of the world and how it worked as was he... We grew closer than brothers over the years and when we both came of age to make our own decisions, he asked me to join him." Vaneda rubbed his hands over his eyes, obviously still afflicted by his lack of good sleep. " When I refused, he grew angry... irrational and almost violent, saying I was a heretic, that I would die... but I ran from him before things could grow violent. He came for me when I slept that night and I awoke in a place I had never seen before... A temple... and he was smiling over me. When I inquired where I was... where WE were... he said that I had been 'converted'. Then..." Vaneda traced the lines along his face, his eyes distant, as if he were staring past Aki. "These cuts weren't from a fight or from some thug. No, these were from him. He cut me to pieces... severed my arm, stitched it back on, cut it... cut me and I could FEEL it every time! The body shouldn't take this kind of damage... I can't! But mine did.... It was pain... blood... seeing my own internal organs outside day in and day out.... One day... I asked why I couldn't die, he'd only cut out my tongue only to stitch it on a day later...." Tears fell from his eyes as he spoke. He seemed to fall even more out of reality as the story went on. "When I experienced all forms of physical torture... He threw me in a pitch-black chamber and starved me... no food or water for days.... I wasted away but there as no death... no mercy... only pain..." Suddenly, his eyes snapped into focus and, before Aki could react, Vaneda would draw his katana, slashing a wrist he held away from them, splattering blood across the grass and himself, but missing Aki and the child entirely. "I can't die..... They.... turned me into this.... thing... I'm a freak! I shouldn't be alive and I am!" As if the golden-eyed lady needed more proof, The priest tore his cloak from his body with his good hand, revealing a hole in his chest, the world visable through it from the other side. If one looked closely, they might see the pulse of a heart through the hole.

"Aki..." He said, his voice pleading. "Don't make her grow up with me... Remember when I said I was the 'cursed one...?' Immortality is the worst curse on man..." He chuckled pitifully as he stared down at his seeping bloody wrist, sanguine pooling on his pants. "Funny..." He laughed, tears flowing more intensely from his eyes, mixing with the wound on his wrist. "It feels cold... sick... An unholy creature like me... should be burning in hell... not raising children..."

The blonde mock admonished the child for waking up her guardian, all the while cuddling her close to show she wasn't truly upset with little Azura. A small smile played on her lips as her blessed friend awake, but not as refreshed as she would have hoped. The smile vanished from her face as the orb she had conjured moved towards Vaneda now, sensing more dark energy and working overtime to absorb it from the young man who began to spill out all his secrets.

Akihana listened quietly as he recounted his entire story, his faith, how he had been converted to Jashinism, how his so called friend had betrayed him. The curse of immortality was grave indeed but worst still was his faith that he was not worthy of love, of raising little Azura as his own. As the intent behind his invitation today became clear, Akihana's golden eyes glowed bright, a multitude of emotions rising within her.

"I don't know much about your faith..." she began tentatively, reaching a free hand to grasp his lightly. "Where I came from, there is a faith that is similar but they keep to themselves mostly. Common folk call them the priests of the House of Black and White... The worshipers of the many faced God of Death..." Despite the sinister reputation, Akihana had never heard of any trouble from that particular sect. Perhaps it was because they kept to themselves, or because they were so good at their job. Some claimed they were assassins while others said they melted in the sun. The blonde didn't hold stock in any such claims.

"What happened to you... was awful... To be betrayed and hurt like this, I can't even imagine what you must have gone through," she continued, her hand still firmly on him, letting him know that she was there regardless of what he told. "But the tragedies of your past don't define you, Vaneda. Even Jashin doesn't define you. Only your decisions from now on have the power to do that. And I'm with you no matter what you decide."

At that moment, Azura let out a contented gurgle, her little hands reaching out to take hold of her guardian's thumb in her tiny fingers, holding securely on to it with a smile on her face.

"And Azura is too."

It was okay Akihana spoke the the greatest of heresies. It was forgivable in a sense of a child repeating a foul word with no idea what those words meant. She placed her hand around his shoulders, stating that it was not the past, but the decisions he made in the present that defined who he was. It was a comforting thought, that the past ultimately didn't matter. The truth was, though, that the past DID matter. It was the foundation on which man builds himself and if he forgets about those foundations, forgets where the big picture stems from, that picture may end up far worse than intended. Vaneda was never a fan of this kind of thinking. He knew that one's own actions stuck around far long after their dead and it was the memory of the person that lived in the minds of those they touched. The Past lived on, so to speak. Vaneda knew he would never die, he would never pass on that way, but the idea still applied.

He stared down at the ground, heavy blue eyed locked firmly in place. The priest didn't speak for several minutes as he attempted to get his breathing back in order. He felt the little baby's fingers attempt to wrap around his own again, its tender flesh rubbing up against his more seasoned. Beyond the facade he was putting on, a genuine series of complex emotions were playing themselves through his heart, muddling the purpose of him even being here. It was as if he were starting to lose sight of his goal and, instead, all he could see was the child in Aki's arms. It was frustrating... but... maybe it wasn't so bad...? He let out a sigh and raised his gaze back up to his golden-haired therapist, eyes wet and confused.

"One day... she will ask me who she is... She will ask who I am and what am I supposed to tell her...?" He asked. "Do I say she is the daughter of an immortal freak that will out live her long after she's gone?" It was a legitimate question, one that had passed his mind frequently on those sleepless nights. On the off-chance he had failed, what would he tell her when she asked? What was he supposed to say? What do parents say when their kids ask them these questions? All Vaneda knew as how to kill someone and make it look good! He knew how to lie, how to fake emotions, how to make and break bonds with the majority of people but when it came to actual parenting... That was like asking Vaneda to play a complex piano piece with no piano or piece... At least, in his mind. Akihana's gentle, careful encouragement filled him with confidence, however, despite his attempts to suppress it. Despite his attempts to seem hopeless, to feel hopeless, he just couldn't make this feeling disappear.... this... longing to hold that baby again. It was as if he were fighting within himself in a battle where he couldn't tell one side from the other.... And the side that wanted Azura again...... was winning...

The blonde wasn't really sure if her words were helping. In fact, she wasn't sure if anything would help right this moment as Vaneda poured out his soul in front of her and baby Azura. In truth she was still reeling from the fact that he had kept such a big secret but when she thought about it, Akihana had never detected any falsehood from the priest. He was reserved yes, he was prone to answering question with more questions sometimes but she knew he was sincere. There were things in her past she was ashamed of and he had the same right to be too.

"My son asked me something similar, kind of," she admitted quietly once he was finished. His worry about Azura's questions when she grew up was perfectly valid, as Akihana knew only too well. "When he first found out about Kumo - I didn't tell him for months because the mother in me wanted to keep him sheltered from the world - he asked why I had let it happen." A look of pain entered her soft golden eyes as she relived her son's yells and accusations.

"He believed Kumo fell because of me, not anyone else. He thinks this because he believes I should have stayed, died if need be. He said he would rather have a dead mother than one who was a coward." Holing the baby close for her own comfort as much as the little one's she broke eye contact with the young ninja beside her.

"And yet that didn't make me love him any less. He's my baby even on days when he would =rather have nothing to do with me. I would still do anything in the world for him, and he knows that too. Azura may grow up and ask a lot of questions, she might even be upset. But if you do your job right, she will always know, underneath it all that, you love her. And that kind of love does not go reciprocated, my friend."

To demonstrate her point, Akihana gently reached out and pulled Azura's hand from Vaneda's thumb moving to the farthest corner of the bench, as far way from the priest as she could while still sitting down. Safe in her arms, Azura let out a small whimper of discomfort at having lost Vaneda's comforting touch. A minute passed as Akihana remained in her position, waiting to see how long it took for the male to realize he needed the child just as much as she needed him.

Azura began to wail in earnest, demanding her gaurdian back and still, Akihana didn't move. "You want to give her away, but can you stay just these two feet way from her when she's in distress?" the kunoichi questioned softly.