Jailhouse Rock

“Warden threw a party in the county jail. The prison band was there and they began to wail. The band was jumpin and the joint began to swing. You should’ve heard them knocked-out jailbirds sing. Let’s rock everybody, lets rock. Everybody in the whole cell block, was dancing to the jailhouse rock.” Ryu would hold his telepathy seal as he sang out loud as well until a prisoner yelled for him to shut up.

Ryu would look over to him. “You’re not very nice, guy.” To which the guy would moan “I’m not your guy, buddy.” Ryu would then point to the man. “I’m not your buddy, friend.” As the man began to say “I’m not your frien…” A guard would enter the room, with a set of handcuffs.
“The hokage said she will see you now.” She? I guess, he’s so cowardly even his ninja see him as a girl. The jounin would step up and hold his hands out of the gate for the ninja to slap on the hand cuffs. He would then turn to the man he was having friendly banter with. “I’d say this was fun, but it wasn’t. So, fuck you guy.” Yeah, that’s right Ryu learned some new edjimicated words in the pen.


The guard would take the ninja to a room and have him sit down with one other chair in the room. He would then wait for the kage to enter.

Ashi Inuzuka had left the building, the Hokage building.

Some person of questionable mental capacity had chosen to burn down the village gates and then promptly surrender. The Hokage had been briefed on the way over to the jail about the whole situation. For the first time in her whole tenure as Kage, Ashi would be in her element. After all, if there was one thing an anbu operative knew it was how to run an interrogation.

Of course, the woman looked nothing like a kage. Her hair was a mess and she wore the attire of a jounin. Much to the chagrin of her PR staff she eschewed the robes of her office at every chance she got. Because, honestly, the ceremonial robes and cloak were not the most comfortable things in the world.

Sweeping into the interrogation room, she allowed the door to slam shut behind her with a metallic clang. Taking a seat she glanced disdainfully at the boy across from her. By all rights, the boy should have been dead the moment he chose to attack the Leaf Village.

"Give me one good reason I should not have you executed for crimes against Konohagakure and acts of terrorism."

Formalities at such meetings did not matter. The boy was living on borrowed time and Ashi was looking to collect.

As the lady entered the room Ryu would look up. “You’re not the hokage.” He would say unenthusiastically after she asked why she shouldn’t have him executed. That mattered little though, as this lady was here to talk and he was prepared to listen.

“Why shouldn’t you kill me? I burned down your gates, because your kage and your people fled as Sunagakure was getting taken over. Besides no one got hurt, I made sure of it.” The boy would then look up.

“If I had to give you a real reason you shouldn’t kill me, I guess I’d have to say its because I don’t like Kumo and Kumo is coming for you. Now, I may or may not be part of a group that wants to take out kumo.” He would then sit forward and pause.

“So, I don’t trust you guys but I figure you are the best chance we have to succeed. I’m sure you don’t trust me either.” He would then sick back in the chair and look into the ladies eyes. “We have about ten or so members in total, many of which are jounin.”


Ryu would then look around the room. “If that doesn’t interest you maybe an alliance between suna and kumo would. Our kage has gone missing and in his absence the new “kage”. He would say doing his best at hand cuffed air quotes. “Decided it was better to surrender and join Kumo than fight.”



“I know the name and abilities of the current kage. I’d give them to you, but I ask he or anyone else not be killed. Since some of your ninja were in Suna during the exams you already likely know who I am talking about.“ The boy was pretty adamant about that last part Koroshi was not a fan of murder and neither was Ryu. There were other ways to stop someone than killing them.

Perhaps the boy did not understand the meaning of 'good' and 'one'? Yes, that had to be the case. Shame really as Ashi was ready to listen. Alas, the boy had squandered his chance with an attempt at bravado. The key word here, dear reader, is attempt—the practiced eye of the former anbu saw through the person across from her.

"Let me get this straight," her disbelief palpable as she spoke. "Because the story you tell is quite different from the story I've heard from my shinobi."

She wasn't even going to respond to the quip about her not being Hokage. She had no time nor patience for the uninformed and didn't bother looking the boy in the eye once—he was below her.

"My understanding is that Sunagakure was taken over not through hostilities, but rather negotiation. That is to say, no verifiable combat took place. Konohagakure is no longer a village that starts hostilities. If Sunagakure turned over power willingly then it is through talks that it will be resolved not military action. Now, you come to me as the supposed representative of Sunagakure and attack my village in retribution for my shinobi acting justly..."

She trailed off and jotted down a few notes on the file in front of her.

"Allow me to describe to you the ramifications of what you've done. You attacked an allied village, which is tantamount to a declaration of war. Naturally, you have condemned the entirety of your former village to prosecution and further attack on the part of Konohagakure. If this is the legacy of Koroshi Uchiha then I am not impressed in the slightest."

No, this boy was not a thinker. Konohagakure could more than hold its own against Kumogakure.

"As for your group? I can only assume and hope that they are a collection of Sunagakure shinobi. Here is how it will go from here: Konohagakure, after vetting each one, will accept with open arms your fellow shinobi and overlook how your transgressions reflect on them. You, however, will not be allowed to stay in the village and will have to pay for the destroyed gate two times over. After having divulged any and all information about the situation of Sunagakure should you chose to return to this village at any time you will do so under the penalty of death."

Taking an exasperated breath the woman flashed a toothy grin.

"Is that understood?"

Hopefully, the boy understood he was in not position to negotiate. He had two options, submit to Ashi or die. Really he was rather lucky in this respect, life rarely gave such a clear cut pair of choices.

Yeah, people always get swallowed up by sky holes as a man arrives claiming your.village as his own. That’s normal. Well Ryu was forming an additional opinion on leaf ninja as the woman spoke. It’s not hostile if there is no blood, duh. There were words reserved for people like this and they weren’t very nice ones.

When did I say I represent Suna? This person was forming conclusions of her own and that was fine, but to say her ninja acted “justly.” Well this conversation was over; the boy would listen calmly these people would get no help from him. He hoped at this point Kumo would swoop down on them like eagles to fish and at least send him tickets like front row seats to the jounin exams.

“…You attacked an allied village…” I wouldn’t say we are allies anymore, but okay. Naturally, you have condemned the entirety of your former village to prosecution and further attack on the part of Konohagakure.” At this point Ryu was ready to either laugh or insult the ladies people, but he didn't and kept his face straight. You gonna strike us in the face and run off? Jump us with a box of ferocious kittens and run off?


It was an easy choice to accept the deal, of course he wouldn’t be sending any suna ninja there way. He would of course tell them of the option however. Never showing up here again or face death, that was also easy this place sucked. They didn’t even have sand to eat. Divulge the information on Suna, sure not like the cowards would do anything with it.



“Understood, lady.” He would say, sitting back in his chair. “Kyson is the new kage, he specializes in water jutsu, including turning his body into water. He is the one who agreed to an alliance with Kumo. Presently, there is a small force of suna ninja working with kumo and another group opposing them. Any other questions you have?”

The slim all-knowing smile of budding politician spread across Ashi’s face. To all who knew her well, of which she could count on one hand, this look would be a new one. And though it felt unnatural on her face, the Inuzuka could not say she disliked this new feeling of triumph. Triumph not won through a contest of physical power, but rather implied power, the power of office.

“No that is by no means all,” she replied with the candor of one assured of her own position in the world. “I don’t believe I caught your name.”

She could always search through reports of the jailers, but it was better to know now rather than later.

“Now,” she started after the boy had hopefully given his name. “Tell me more about this group of yours.”

Nodding along with what was hopefully the truth the woman watched the boy carefully. Years of combat and interrogation experience told her what to look for in a liar. The truth, when it came to talking to a kage, was probably the best policy.

“And lastly we have the cost of damages to Konohagakure. I have conferred with my engineers and they estimate that it will take 10,000 ryo to effect repairs.”

She stopped here with the implication that the boy best have a way to pay or have a generous benefactor who would be able to extend him credit.

Well this lady is happy for whatever reason. No matter he had already gotten what he wanted and staying any longer was unnecessary to say the least. It seems the woman wanted to know his name. Was she hitting on him? Looking at him with a smile and asking his name. What happened to the interrogator?


“Look lady, I know I’m in cuffs and that creepy dude told me a bunch about stuff that I don’t want to know, but I’m not quite ready for us to be at that stage. Let’s start as friends and go from there. My name is Ryu Reinhard, what is yours?” There was no hint of sarcasm in the tone, this is what the boy truly believed was happening. (In case it is needed the mission with the creepy guy is here, It is actually my last mission in suna lol.)

“Okay, I can tell you more about the group. It is called Hitsuyo Ablue and our leaders name is Kevin. I think he’s a dude, but he looks like a lady. I met him about a week ago, when he came to Suna recruiting people willing to fight our suppressors (I know its oppressors ooc.). He said that his country the snow village had been taken over years ago and that he also shared a distaste for the cloud village.” He would pause,  but continue within seconds. “So, I was like cool they sucked up my kage in a sky hole I don’t like’em either. He recruited a few other suna ninja and then brought us to a different country, Where he then brought in even more people than we had when we left Suna. So, now we have a fairly large force. The suna ninja with me are Faith Akari jounin and Ryou Kenshin genin. The others I don’t really remember their names I think one was Kaz. At least that is what Kevin called him and then I left for Konoha.”



“I have an amount of which you should have taken when I got here. Maybe that is enough?” He would say smiling hoping the 4000 ryo would cover it.

A miracle took place in that interrogation room. A miracle that Ashi never thought would have happened. In fact, she would have bet her life on it never happening without hesitation. Hell, she would have bet the all of Konohagakure, she was that confident, but lo and behold she had found that miracle sitting across from her on a warm summer afternoon.

Yes, she had found someone with worse social sense than herself—the boy clearly had no idea what was going on.

Ashi almost felt bad.

Almost.

Regardless, the woman nodded along with the boy as if she believed every word. Honestly, she believed the general story and nothing else. He was recruited to some group, his kage disappeared and he went away with some other Sunagakure shinobi in this group to oppose Kumogakure. Ok, maybe she was starting to feel a bit bad about the whole thing.

"You may address me as everyone else seems to," she replied with a shrug of indifference. "Lady Hokage. I wish we could've met under better circumstances. However, as it stands 4,000 ryo will not be enough, no. That leaves you 16,000 ryo short. Perhaps this 'Kevin' you spoke of might be able to supply the rest?"

Her voice had become kinder the more she spoke to the boy as if speaking to a small child. At this point either the boy was insane, possible, or he had some very skewed perception of reality, also possible. After all, holes in the sky don't just suck people up, not even in the shinobi world. Truthfully, she felt she had gotten anything of worth from the boy across from her—she wanted to talk with his supposed associates. Perhaps they had a more clear-eyed view of reality?

She isn’t a mean lady she is pretty nice this lady hokage. “Okay, so you are the hokage’s wife.” Oh, wow this lady wanted to cheat on her husband for me. I always knew I was too good looking for prison. He would shake his head a little bit to clear the thought from his mind.

“Maybe, but I feel like everything happens for some reason or another. Like Salzem stopping me at the gates. I probably wouldn’t have trusted anyone else in the village putting me in jail.” He would say looking around the interrogation room to emphasize what jail he meant. “Now you are going to get newer gates and newer is always better.”


The boy would shrug at mentioning Kevin providing the rest. “I have no idea if he has that kind of money. He did run a fuinjutsu shop in Suna when I met him though, so maybe… I have a friend here in Kono named Salzem could I ask him? He is the one who brought me in.”



If the request to ask Salzem was denied he’d have to figure out how to get ahold of Kevin. “You said you wanted more information on the group, but most likely Kevin is the guy to talk to. I can summon him here, get him to travel here, or teleport to him and teleport back, there is also taking you to them. I’ll let you choose the way.”

Ashi set her jaw in irritation as the boy labeled her as the Hokage's wife. Once again, she would ignore the boy only sparing him a dark glance. No, he didn't follow conversations all that well.

Then there was Salzem, this troublesome shinobi always seemed to crop up on Ashi's radar and never for the right reasons. First, it was with his apparent defection from the Leaf village, then it was in the graveyard, and now he failed to eliminate a clear threat to the village. That said if he felt so inclined to help a supposed friend then who was Ashi to stop him? Yes, she would allow it.

"You are free to ask him," she said offhandedly as if the matter didn't to her in the slightest—money was money.

The prospect of meeting this Kevin, though, interested her greatly. It wasn't so much the man, but rather his mode of transportation and what it implied. It meant that the boy in front of her had the ability to teleport to some extent. She would keep that in mind should he go missing or, more likely, if she had to put him down.

"Travel will be fine," she replied more to herself than the boy across from her. "Have him come here at his convenience and we will talk further. In the meantime, you will be kept behind bars until your debt has been paid off. Do you have any questions?"