Reflections

This was it, this was Youka's solace and his damnation for the sin he was about to commit. He came out to this harsh climate in order to beg to the heavens for the forgiveness he knew wasn't coming and also to reflect on the life he was going to take. Youka's frame could be seen sitting indian style in the middle of the frozen tundra his breath forming in front of his face as he breathed outwards slowly through his mask. He had much to reflect on today before he followed through on his words that he had spoken to Maku and by now that Kira surely saw coming. Would he actually follow through with this or would he find it in his hearts to forgive the child that he had found and practically raised and watched grow.

Every moment of thought made him more torn between the decision and he could feel himself being torn in two by the gravity of the choice he would have to make. Kira was like a sister to him, and he had been there for her through multiple things whether it be sitting up at night and listening to her talk in her sleep about the horrors she had witnessed or them simply sharing laughs over a few drinks. He hadn't always been the most supportive and kind person but he did the best he knew how to do and he felt that she understood that in his own way he was trying to be there for her.

Even in training her to live in this world he had seen parts of himself in her through her will to survive and the way she calculated every action to see it through to a direct end that never left questions to what might happen next. He could see it in her eyes that everything she did while in combat led to the end of the other person not able to move afterwards. he loved her ability to think steps and steps ahead and it's what made him strive to see her get stronger and bring her to Echo so she could grow as well under a strong leader. She had so many good qualities that brought out who she was in the best ways possible, which made this decision even harder.

The frozen plains blew harshly as he reflected, they seemingly tried to knock him over with each passing wind. The cold nipped at his body in various places and Youka knew that without his armor on right now and the hooded cloak he would have lost to frost bite and hypothermia a while ago. This however was his own punishment on himself, this is what Kira would feel as her life slowly faded away into nothingness and she would be just a memory in the minds of a few till they eventually forgot about her too. Such a cold and dry ending to such a fire life if that was to be his choice.

Why was he planning on taking his friends life, why was this the only choice he was giving himself, surely just a simple lecture of the do's and don'ts would suffice in this manner of things. She didn't need to die, her life was still valuable and she had much to give. No, he couldn't try to reason it out, she had given up information that should have never been told. The words that she had uttered had sealed her fate in his eyes and even though he loved her and cherished their relationship he would have to see her dead for not only endangering his own life but for putting Maku in the cross hairs as well. If that wasn't enough she had made Echo look weak as a ninja for going outside of his own ninja and hiring mercenaries to do things on his behalf. If it was one thing he found out quickly in the ninja world it was that information was the most valuable commodity and Kira had spent all of her's on Konoha giving up everything about them for the gain of the Kage there to trust her. In Youka's eyes this was not only a betrayal of their current boss but also of Youka himself.

Still the question remained, did this warrant her death, the more Youka played out everything she had divulged the more his mind was made up. There were just things that you didn't do and even though she had her own way of showing she would never tell a secret again by scarring her skin, Youka couldn't hold that to truth and believe her, as he told Maku, scars heal and flesh can be remade whole. Soon to her memory would fade of the horrible mistake she had made and she might be prone to have it happen again.

It was times like this that he wished this quiet entity inside of him would stop it's useless whistling and actually talk to him and help him with his decision. At this point and time he would honestly take the Demon in his head telling him to kill Kira as well, at least then he would have someone. Alas though it was only him, and he was burdened with making the choice himself on her life. His eyes teared slightly only for the moisture to quickly freeze to his face as the cold grabbed it. He knew what had to be done to ensure this never happened again. He just prayed that Kira would be able to forgive him in the afterlife and move on peacefully.

The sad part about being in the catholic church and now doing what he did for a living was that he knew he was going to hell for all of his sins and he knew there was a special level of hell for the ones that killed their best friends ending their lives in cold blood. It had to be done however and now he had the resolve to carry it out.

Standing up from the ground covered in snow he shook himself clean before walking back to the village in search of Kira, he would bring her out to this very location to finally end what needed to be done.

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TWC 1048 applying it all to the rest of acclepius +500 ryo

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