Of Grinches and Stupid Dares

Missions being done:

Spoiler:

It was winter, and a blanket of snow had covered the village of Yugakure. Smoke rose from several chimneys, a clear sign that people inside were going through their supply of firewood to keep themselves warm. Most people were inside, but a group of children had gathered near a frozen pond to have a snowball fight. Yazui himself stood on a nearby hill, on a thick branch of a large tree, overlooking this idyllic scene. But he wasn’t just enjoying the view. He was scanning the houses and buildings from his hiding spot. Rumor had it that a thief had been going around stealing presents. A reward had been promised to anyone who could apprehend the criminal, and Yazui could do with some pocket money.

As the sun was setting over the village, Yazui hoped to spot someone sneaking over the rooftops or squeeze in between two houses. He waited patiently as the kids began heading home. His eyes scanned across the white roofs, hoping to spot any suspicious people. With the children having gone inside for dinner, there was no one outside.

No... there was someone. A lone individual standing at the square of the village! At its dead center, to be exact. This figure was too far away for Yazui to make out any details, but there was a lone figure alright!

Like a serpent, Yazui slid down from his tree, dashing through the shadows of bushes until he had reached the village. Then, he snuck his way in between houses to the square. If this person really was the thief, Yazui wanted to sneak up to him and catch him red handed. Nearing the square, Yazui peeked from behind the corner of a building to see if the figure was still there. To his surprise, the mystery person hadn't moved an inch. Now that he was closer, he could see this person stand with their back to the rest of the square, awfully close to a metal pole.

Almost like they were kissing it.

Then, the realization set in.

"For fucks sake..."

Yazui had hoped to catch himself a nice bounty, but it was just some doofus stuck to a lantern with his tongue. Yazui wanted to head back to his vantage point in a stage of dissapointment, but then something compelled him to help the poor guy. Maybe some goodwill would help him on his way. And maybe this man could tell him more about the thief?

"Hey buddy. Need some help.?" Yazui would emerge and approach the man.

"Yeth peethe! Ith been thuck here thor hours!"

Now that he was closer, Yazui could see that the poor sap was shaking from the cold. What assholes had left him here?! In any case, Yazui came closer and inspected the tongue. The thing was turning blue and looked to be hopelessly stuck. Yazui could pull the man away with some force, but he couldn't do so without risking some damage to the organ. Which meant the next best option was warming it up in order to loosen it.

"Fine, I'll go get some hot water from the tavern. I'd tell you to stay put, but... yeah." And with that wisecracking comment, Yazui would make his way to the nearby tavern. He walked inside, basking in the warmth of the heated room while observing his surroundings. The tavern was mostly empty aside from a few villages who cast him a suspicious glance. Looked like the place still wasn't fond of strangers. The innkeeper eyed him equally suspiciously, but when Yazui explained his mission the man became more understanding. He agreed to warm up a bottle of water to pour over the man's tongue.

A few minutes later, he would return with a bottle of warm water, which he would pour over the man's tongue. The ice melted enough for the man to rip free.

"Thangk you tho much!", he said, tongue still raw and numb from the exposure. "My athhole friends mathe me wick ith ath a dare and then wenth home."

After Yazui pointed out that this man should seek better friends, the man thanked him again and finally headed home for a warm bath. Feeling cold and tired himself, Yazui pondered on whether he should try his luck or head back to the Yugure base to warm up by the fire. Thats when he suddenly heard the sound of feet pattering over rooftiles nearby. Heart racing, Yazui turned towards the direction of the sound and bolted towards it. It sounded like the thief had finally appeared!

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760

Yazui snuck through the alleys and gardens of the village as fast as he could without compromising the element of surprise. There were some factors working against his favour. First of all, the thick layer of snow would produce a loud cracking sound, or shuffling sound depending on how Yazui took his steps, every time the man would shift his weight. This was easily fixed, however, by applying a method similar to water walking to prevent disturbing the sheet of snow on the ground. Secondly, the assailant was probably on guard and was on a roof, providing him a vantage point from which to spot Yazui should he come out in the open. So Yazui was relegated to sneaking through the back-alleys and in-betweens of houses to close the distance between him and his still unseen target.

This strategy proved effective as Yazui would hear the pitter patter on rooftiles, interspersed with the occasional short silence as the bandit checked his surroundings or gazed into a window, draw closer. And so he continued with his current pursuit, moving ever closer and adjusting his route to wherever the latest sound had come from.

At one point -the bandit would not have been more than a few meters away from him judging by the last sound- Yazui heard only silence. He was hiding underneath a snow-covered overhang. Ears strained for the next sound and adrenaline racing like a predator waiting to pounce. This was a mission, yes, but Yazui sure was having fun!

Suddenly, he heard the sound of a window creak open from right above him. A few heaps of snow fell off the overhang and landed in front of Yazui, followed by a creaking sound as whoever was above him entered through the window and into the house. This was perfect; he would catch the criminal red-handed! Not that he would be able to verbally defend himself -the mission explicitly stated dead or alive- but it helped knowing Yazui wouldn't get in a pickle for accidentally murdering some innocent villager. Probably wouldn't be very good PR for Yugure as a whole, either.

Yazui would emerge from his hiding spot, jump up onto the roof and follow into the now open window. Lights were off inside, meaning the family that lived here had already gone to bed. Once inside, Yazui would adjust his hearing to filter out the soft sound of someone snoring somewhere within the house. It would take him a short moment to do this, but before long he would hear the soft creaks of someone sneaking downstairs. Yazui would stealth out of the room through the open door and gaze into the dark stairwell. He tried to discern any movement within the darkness, but could see none. Apparently the burglar was already downstairs.

Then Yazui would go there too.

Sneaking down the stairs with light-footedness that equalled or even surpassed the invader, Yazui would make his way down. Landing in a long hallway, he was instantly drawn to the second dooropening to his left. From this room, a faint red light shone into the otherwise pitch-black hallway. He made his way to the dooropening and peaked across the corner. There, in the corner of the room, stood a christmas tree. The thing was beautifully decorated, with red lights, glittery decorations and a beautiful angelic figure crowning it. At its base were stacks of neatly-wrapped presents. And standing in front of it, was a tall, dark figure.

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578/1338

The looming figure hadn’t noticed Yazui yet. It crouched down on its knees, setting the large bag held over its shoulder and setting it beneath him on the ground. It then reached for a present from underneath the tree and stashed is inside the sack. This was all the evidence Yazui needed. The culprit had been found and all that remained was bringing them in.

Now, how to go about it?

Yazui first considered taking the peaceful route, until he noticed something. Now that the present thief had taken the sack from his back, the light of the Christmas tree reflected off of something that had previously been hidden from sight. On the burglar’s back, for the most part stored in a leather sheeth but with just a bit of its blade sticking out from the top and gleaming meanly in the light, was a sword.
So the guy was armed.

This presented a problem. And this problem was a lack of information and context. Yes, the man had a sword, but was he actually skilled at using it? And if so, exactly how skilled? A genin and a jounin could both be described as “skilled”, but the gap in their actual ability was usually immense. Or was the sword just for show? A deterrent meant to prevent people from trying to mug him? It was impossible to tell at this point.

The safest option for now… seemed to try to resolve things peacefully without initiating combat and without giving away Yazui’s location.
The missing-nin would form a string of hand seals and perform the Genjutsu Messenger technique. Using this technique, he manipulated his target’s sense of hearing to relay a message. In this case, the message would be in Yazui’s voice, heard from all around the targeted burglar.

“Stop what you’re doing. I’ve got you in my sight. If you make an unexpected move, that move will be your last. This is your one opportunity to turn yourself in peacefully.”

Yazui watched how the figure would react to this message. The first sign that something was wrong was the man’s complete lack of visual reaction. No sudden halt in movement indicating shock and surprise. The man merely finished putting the next gift in the bag. The second sign was the man’s reaction.

“Heh. Fool. I picked up your chakra back on the balcony. You never had the element of surprise.”

The third sign was the man suddenly rising, spinning around and throwing a shuriken right at Yazui’s location behind the wall.

“Crap!”

Yazui’s own chakra sensing skills alerted him to the chakra that was infused in the shuriken. Probably some sort of technique to increase its deadliness. Yazui quickly rolled to his left, away from the doorframe, right before the shuriken pierced straight through the drywall and into the wall behind it. The next moment, the burglar burst out of the room, turned a sharp left and burst out of the front door.

So he would rather flee than fight? This made sense, considering he probably didn’t want to wake the inhabitants of the house and draw attention to himself. In any case, Yazui wasn’t going to let him get away. Quickly, he would get up and rush out of the door after him. Outside, he would see his target dashing through the nearby street. Quickly, Yazui would throw a shuriken at the man’s legs, followed by a string of hand seals.

“Genjutsu Binding!”

At once, both Yazui and the burglar’s bodies became rigid, freezing up. The burglar in particular stopped mid-sprint, his body seemingly stuck mid-run as if he was on the poster of the latest heist film. As it happened, the paralysis genjutsu landed right as the burglar was running underneath a street light, allowing Yazui to get a good look at him. The man seemed strangely like a homeless version of santa clause; his red robe and hat were decapitated and full of holes while his beard was dirt grey and unkempt. His eyes, glaring at Yazui, were bloodshot and his face seemed hollow and almost skeletal. He reminded Yazui of himself during his first few years on the run, only this man seemed to have had it even worse.

Thunk

The kunai landed in the back of the burglar’s upper left leg. A subdued grunt of pain escaped the man, the paralysis preventing any other kind of reaction from the individual.

“Good, that should cripple him.”

Yazui would release the genjutsu, causing the bandit to topple over into the snow due to his lack of balance from his position as well as the fresh injury to his leg. Seizing this opportunity, Yazui would rush over to the man. Time to finish this. Or… so it seemed. But the bandit was faster than Yazui expected. As he came within four meters of the man, the bandit rose, seemingly having waited for Yazui to come into range. He raised a handful of white powder to his mouth and blew it at his opponent. Yazui shielded his face, but judging by the stinging sensation in his eyes and nose it was too late. For the second time in a short while he felt a rigid paralysis take hold of his body. His arms dropped limply to his side as he lost all feeling in his legs.

The hobo santa clause let out a sinister chuckle as he retrieved the kunai from his leg.

“Now, normally I would have just run. But you’ve gone and hurt me. And that pissed me off. So now…” The man would move towards the paralyzed Yazui, raising the kunai to his throat. “…. I’ll fucking kill you!” The man was now close enough that Yazui could smell his rancid breath. Heart racing at the thought of his incoming death, he tried in vain to move his body. To do anything.

But it seemed like this was the end.

Getting murdered by a hobo santa wasn’t exactly the fate he had in mind for himself.

“Hold on!”, a voice suddenly called out. It was a familiar voice too. It sounded like… the man who he had freed from the pole earlier.
The next moment, a splash of cold water hit Yazui in the face. A shock of cold went through his body, kick-starting it back into movement. His first impulse? Raise his left leg upwards and full into his enemies’s gonads.

“Ow!”

The man bended over and clutched his bruised balls, but was able to aim a defensive slash at Yazui’s chest preventing the missing-nin from finishing it then and there. Instead, he was forced to take a jump back to prevent himself from getting injured.

In this moment, Yazui looked in the direction that the voice came from to spot the man he had freed earlier standing at the side of the street with a water hose, giving him a thumbs up. Damnit. Yazui felt grateful to the man’s help, but his ego hadn’t come out unscathed. Had it not been for the intervention of someone dumb enough to lick a pole in the freezing cold, Yazui would have been murdered by a hobo santa. Granted, the hobo santa’s skills at chakra hinted at a history as a shinobi, but it still sucked that he had to be saved by a moron.

But Yazui wasn’t going to show it, instead nodding at the man in gratitude before redirecting his attention to his enemy. The man straightened himself. A pained expression was on his face, yet he managed to compose himself against the agony in order to continue the fight. Now that Yazui knew of the powder, he was going to be more careful. After all, he didn’t know what other tricks he had up his sleeve. He took a few more steps back, putting about six meters between him and the enemy. Realizing this, the murderous santa decided to stop being tricky and start with an all-out offense. He would form a string of hand seals, putting Yazui on guard.

“Katon – Goukakyuu no Jutsu!”

An orb of roaring flame emerged from the old man’s mouth and rushed towards Yazui. The Tenka smirked as he formed a quick flurry of seals himself. He knew now that he had the elemental advantage. Finishing his hand seals, a torrent of water from his mouth would form into a crescent shield in front of him. This water shield caught the fireball. It produced a sizzling sound as it put out the fire, causing a burst of steam as part of the water evaporated while the rest fell to the ground. Using this opportunity, Yazui quickly retrieved his kusarigama from his back, drawing the weapon and thrusting the blunt end of the sickle forward in one smooth movement.

“Temple Style: Bark!”

The jutsu lived up to its name as a bark-like sound shot through the village as a shockwave crashed into the hobo santa, kicking up snow in its path. The man opened his mouth as all air was pushed out of his body, then was swept up from the ground and crashed into a nearby wall with a sickening crack. A direct hit.

With that final move, the kicked-up snow settled as silence swept over the village. What followed were several lights in the nearby homes turning on as people peeked out of the window to gaze at the commotion. No one dared to go outside just yet, instead watching carefully as Yazui carefully walked over to his enemy. The man was lying motionless at the base of the wall. This time, Yazui would not take any risks. Rather than approach the man, he would throw a kunai into his body to check for any reactions of pain. When none came, Yazui felt safe enough to come close. He crouched next to the man’s body and inspected him for a pulse. None in the pulse and none in the neck. The man was dead.

Sighing, Yazui rose up. Now that adrenaline had left his body, the realization of his near-death experience kicked in. Ever since joining Yugure he had improved, but if he had to be saved against an opponent like this, he still had a long way to go.

As for the santa, Yazui ended up cutting off his head and bringing it to his contractor. They recognized the man as an old shinobi veteran who had settled in a cottage at the outskirts of the village. Apparently something that had happened in the war had broken him, as he was known in the village as a reclusive and violent old drunkard. Upon inspecting his home, they found the missing presents and rewarded Yazui with the promised amount of money. And that was that for the murder santa that had been terrorizing Christmas.

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1797/3135

Total word count: 3135

Claiming 6000 ryo, 30 AP and 1500 winter equenox tickets as mission reward

Max stats, spending WC on AP, +62 AP

441 WC for completing False Perception Technique (C-rank) (previous training)

Remaining 2695 to mastering Temple Style Bark (AP reduction), 55 words remaining

Yazui wrote:Total word count: 3135

Claiming 6000 ryo, 30 AP and 1500 winter equenox tickets as mission reward

Max stats, spending WC on AP, +62 AP

441 WC for completing False Perception Technique (C-rank) (previous training)

Remaining 2695 to mastering Temple Style Bark (AP reduction), 55 words remaining

Approved