Bad cop, good cop [Private]

It was 3 AM. Nikolai was loitering the street with his friend Dan. Both were drunk and causing a ruckus. Doing stupid bets and some other borderline retarded shit. Shit like punching random street poles, and seeing who could do the most damage. If Nikolai wasn't the head of the police they'd be in some massive turd shit for the stuff he did around in Kumo. They'd also test who can punch the deepest into the ground. Basically some weird stuff. So Nikolai got at home at around four AM. His fists bleeding for stomping some weird stuff a few times. Dan would sleep on his couch since he was too lazy to get home himself. “Dan you lazy piece of SHIT GET THE FUCK UP AND GO HOME!” He yelled at Dan who passed out on his couch. The moon would shine through his apartment as it was really late. Dan was stroking himself on his belly as he turned around and drooled on his couch. “DAN YOU FAT UGLY FUCK GET THE FUCK UPPP!!!” Nikolai would yell, once more before giving up. But. This wasn't going to cut it. He kicked Dan above his hip, hard enough to make it hurt for him to walk for a few days. “FUCK YOU DAN.” He said, groaning again as he started to walk up the stairs to his bedroom but stopped on the middle of the stairs, puking over a few steps.

He wiped his lips as he passed out in the hallway to his bedroom he was so close too. But mother nature decided to fuck him in the ass instead. That next morning. Nikolai woke up at about five AM. Completely hung over. He had troubles standing up as he heard his alarm go off wildly. His arms were stuck out to it as he imagined that he pressed it out. He was now laying in the door opening of his bedroom, his entire back and shoulder sore as fuck. “Ugghhh fuckk” The man moaned out as he tried to get up, his morale absolutely destroyed as he stepped in an ashtray with a few cigarettes in them. “Fuckkk~” He yelled out again. He sat down, leaning against his wall as he used the strength of his leg to stand up, but he accidentally used too much strength and kicked through the floor. So there he was. Half covered in cigarette ashes, his leg in the floor leaning against a wall whilst leaning against a wall. Over the course of fifteen minutes about three hundred and ninety thousand curse words were said.

He took a shower,  cleaned his teeth and put on his police uniform which consisted of something from an old era. Nikolai was old fashioned. His back still hurt like shit and he had a hole through his floor as he went downstairs. And guess what he found there?  Dan. “Dan you fucking piece of shit get up you have to get to work.” Dan would roll off the couch onto the floor. “Mmmmmm.... no.” Nikolai brought the palm of his hand to his face. “FUCK YOU DAN IM NOT YOUR MOTHER GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AND GET THE FUCK UP.” Nikolai would scream in Dan's face as Dan brought his tongue out and licked Nikolai's cheek. “5 More minutes mom.” Nikolai's eyebrow twitched he wove his foot above Dan's head as he gave him a mighty kick to the face. Instantly knocking Dan out and breaking his face nearly. “Hmm.” He called nine one one for Dan as he left the apartment, a bit of blood on his right shoe as he smeared it off on the flowers that were outside his apartment. He cracked his neck again as he stood outside, beginning to walk towards work as he didn't feel like working much today. He noticed a girl ahead of him as he bat an eye to her.

" You are from the Aburame Clan. You need to act with some dignity. Talk less, Train more. Your father carries you far too often. You will be strong I dont doubt that but can you at least Just cover up your legs.."
Amarante looked at her mother with a look that was clearly something along the lines of " Are you Done? ". Every single day her mother was on her ass about one thing or another just because she wasent a stoic, mysterious, all around Aburame. It was like a requirment that she wore some ridcules outfit and those god awful glasses. Amarante never saw the point and frankly never cared to find out. As soon as her mother closed her mouth Amarante grabbed her bag tied her headband around her neck and walked off. Out of the house it was pretty quiet with a few of the villigers movng to and fro. Amarante wrinkled her nose a bit and tugged at her headband.

" Time for the daily news.."
Sending fifty of her bugs out the litte Kikaichu scattered across Kumogakure to see whatever they could. In one place someone two ninja were sparing, in another some genin were trying to get a cat out of the tree. Nothing too interesting was happening, but still the news of various things came in.
" Hm. What do I even want to do. I should bust out ome missions. Maybe train. Or just walk around till something interesting stumbles in my path. This is lame...Where are my friends..Oh yea I aint got any..The perks of a Aburame."
A sigh escaped her lips as she pulled an apple from her bag and began to munch lazily. This borning day was not something she could deal with for far too long.

Nikolai was walking through the streets as he left a blood print behind from his shoe. Yawning rather loudly being obnoxious like he always was as he heard some borderline retarded shitsong from a gym that was about four meters away from him. He looked in the gym “THEIR PANTIES HIT THE GROUND EVERYTIME I POURED SHOTS” Nikolai put his glasses a bit down as he groaned, “This fucking song.” He stepped closer to the window and looked inside. Fat fucking women dancing around poles with an instructor. He busted out in laughter. Seriously. Nikolai was crying. Tears. Motherfucking tears were streaming out of his eyes as he was rolling over the curb. That song. Those massive cows. Pole dancing. WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON.  After a few minutes of laughing Nikolai stood up all serious and shit again. Tightening his tie a little as he wiped away the little tear that was still under his eye. He opened the door to this gym and banged it into the wall as he yelled to the inside, “DO YOU HAVE PERMITS FOR LANDWHALES!?” He begun laughing again as he slammed the door shut and continued walking towards the Police Headquarters.


Nikolai looked up as a bug landed on his nose. He frowned at it with a death serious face as he whispered, “Are you my breakfast you little shit cunt?” It would hopefully fly off or else he would squash it with his hands as he continued walking as he stopped behind the girl that was on his path. Who seemed to talk to herself. Thus he decided to bug her, “Excuse me, if you're looking for the mental hospital I can direct you to one.” He wanted to yell and swear and shit but he just wasn't in the mood anymore. She seemed rather interesting as he examined her from tip to toe. “Hah, I'm just kidding. Bad case of a hangover, I'm Niko, nice to meet ya.” He was too anti social to stick out his hand to her as he put his hands on his sides. “Say, can I have a bite of that apple?” His stomach growled like a wild tiger on drugs. “My fucking friend ruined my morning for me you see. His name is Dan, I thought I'd tell you that. Next time you meet someone named Dan tell them to fuck themselves because they're a piece  of SHIT.” Nikolai said, not really caring that this girl was a bit younger.

Nikolai brushed his lips with his index fingers. “Hmmm, actually. How about you eat breakfast with me at the Police HQ.  They normally don't serve breakfast there but I'm the head so they kind of suck my dick. So I got that going on for me. Do you have work, girl?” He asked her, slightly wondering if he can convince her to join the corpse too.

The Kikaichu were comin back in a swarm, the news had been collected and really Amarante didn't want to hear anymore about it. Taking another bite of her juicy green apple she almost choked on the yummy fruit, which was said to have the powers to keep th doctors away providing she ate one once day. Right now she was holding in her hand the grandaddy of all medicines. Her choking came from th fact that she just lost a Kiaichu, someone had killed her baby. Someone was about to pay a heavy price. Before she could make a move a voice spoke to her and a man stood in front of her. The buzzing inside of her told her that this fucker right here was the offender she was looking for.
" You mother fucker dare to ask for my food, Insult me, and tell me some shit I know I didn't ask about? " She was furious, no one goes around killing bugs seflessly Unless they know not of the power of the Aburame. Yea that was it, this fucker aint know well he was gonna learn today.

" You must not know about the Aburame clan sir, Let me tel you about them and me.
First of My name is Amarante Aburame no girl it'll be in your best intrest to remember that sir. Secondly The Aburame clan spcializes in Bugs. That's riight I said Bugs. If you got a problem with that I'll have the chakra sucked outta you so fast your heart wouldn't make it to the next beat.
Third why yes I would love some breakfast and yea I work, I'm a ninja."
Man that was a mouthfull, but she was sure she got her point across. Smirking she took another bite of that sweet apple. Pulling up her headband from her neck so the man can see that she was a legit ninja.

Nikolai's eyebrow twitched a little as he was called a mother fucker. Who the fuck does this little shit think she is. “I don't fuck my mother, her pussy has dried up too much during these few years.” He said, since you know. She was all dead and shit. 'Ain't nobody touching that pussy anymore.' He thought as he felt like saying it out loud. But changed his mind, his mum was kind. Just kidding, a fucking bitch she was, haha. If you're listening in on my mind mom, tell yourself to fuck yourself. He heard the seriousness in her tone as he gritted his teeth against each other. “Oi – Don't fucking give me attitude, the last person who gave me attitude got to suck my dick.” He raised his brow a little as she spoke a lot. “Do I look like I give a shit about what fancy mancy shit clan shit you're from. Little cunts, thinking they have big balls by merely mentioning their clan name. Bitch – I'd like to let you know that I squish bugs with my asscheeks. Hah, that reminds me of this joke I heard the other day.” He stopped talking to snicker a little. “You know what the most sharpest part of the human body is?” Nikolai said. Softly breathing in as he had that little shit smug on his face as if he was about to burst out in laughter.

“It's your asshole; because it's capable of cutting shit.” He laughed in tears as stupidly smacked his forehead with the palm of his head whilst laughing. “Oh goodness, I gave the guy who came up with that joke promotion.” He giggled again as he nodded a little. “Ooooo a ninja... ooooo.... you dress all up in fancy costumes and sneak around being a little cunt and killing people. Haha. Sorry, that was disrespectful of me.” … “Nah fuck that, I meant what I said, you guys are big cunts always being sneaky and shit. Giving me the creeps.” He looked into behind the girl as he saw a bit of the small forest that resides in Kumogakure. He brought his fingers to his chin as he stroked it a little. Bigfoot was waving his hand to him. He looked down again as he bit his bottom lip. “Gotta stop drinking so much Niko.” He told himself as he nodded “Follow me girly.” He begun to walk his office as it was not far away from here. “Hmm, how old are you anyway?” The man would question her a little staring into the sun as he looked away immediately after. After a few minutes of walking they would finally arrive.

Nikolai would open up the door for her to enter first so he could stare at her ass for a few seconds as he walked to reception. “Yes. I'd like a coffee and whatever this girl wants with hmm.. waffels and pancakes.” The secretary wrote it down a little as he looked up to Nikolai. “B-but the closest bakery is fifty minutes away.” Nikolai groaned, “Good, so I'll have breakfast served to me in thirty. Come with me, girly. Oh yeah, I should probably ask for your name. What is it?” He asked her as he begun walking to his office, which was upstairs. It was somewhat tiresome, “Fucking staircase and shitty incompetent shit secretaries.” Since he was having a major hangover. But after some steps he would open the door to his office and sit down behind his desk, across his desk there would be a cozy chair for a visitor or a guest. His phone rang as he put his finger up, the finger that said symbolized moment. “Hello?” Blablablablabla. “Once she comes home what you think she'll do. No fucking shit she'll freak.” Yadieyadieya, bullshit, fuckshit and fuckery. “I grasp that Jules, all I'm doing is contemplating the ifs.” Blabla. “Ya ain't get no problem Jules, I'm on the motherfucker go back and chill dem bitches out and wait on the Wolf who should arrive shortly.” He hung the phone up again as he yawned, opening his window as he hung out of it. He spun back to her, “You want a smoke?” He asked her as he grabbed one himself. Lightning it with an oven lighter since he had broken his zippos before because he got pissed off quite often.

She couldn't believe this man, was he serious? He had to be crazy Amarante for a moment could not register the shit cominng out of his mouth. If she weren't so cool her jaw would have dropped at this moment. She couldnt even reject following him because she was about to get a free breakfast, and anything free was quite accepted in Amarante's world. After eating the last bits of her apple she droppedte core in her bag. She always kept shit like that and used it towards her gardening, for compost and things of that nature. She was still in a sligt daze when he asked her how old she was and it took her a second to speak.

" I'm 14. What about you? How old are you? Clearly older than I."

She looked over at the man he was quite striking in features but shit she didn'treally care about all that. I mean when your as gorgeous as she was and not even hitting pruberty at its peak you ten to have some high standards on the physical scale. After a bit of walking the duo had com to the police headquarters. The male had yet to say his name and Amarante didn't ask.
" I'd like some pancakes as well. With lots of fresh berries, Cold tea, and some apples...Lots of apples. Oh and some milk and bananas...Just bring me a bowl of fruite and berries " The order was simple eough and she watched as the receptionist sneered at her, Amarante smirked.

" I already told you old man. My name is Amarante Aburame."
Following the man up some steps and into his office she plopped down on th chair that was apperently for guest. Looking around the office as he spoke on the phone she let her bugs from the tips of her fingers onto the desk. Shaking her head no when he offered her a smoke.
" Them things are going to kill yo...Wouldn't you rather die with some fucking dignity? " she tilted her head ever so slightly like a annoying little kid asking too many questions. Usually she was more respectful to her elders, but this fucker here was just unbelievable.