Castles and Dreams (Youka)

The house was pristine.

Not that Akihana was in the habit of keeping a dirty house, not by a long shot. But those who knew her well knew that the cleanliness of her immediate area was directly proportionate to how much she was trying to avoid thinking about something.  After Echo's death, his tombstone had always gleamed no matter the weather. Rain, sun, cloud or snow, the blonde had been there to ensure the empty grave was as neat and tidy as it could be, working quietly with the black armband securely tied to her bicep. After Yaju had fallen in battle, her little cottage in Sanctuary had seen the kind of spring cleaning that had driven Arata out the door. In the days leading up to Queen Shiera's death, the royal handmaidens had always entered her wing to realize they had no work to do. In addition to dressing herself, Akihana had also cleaned every inch of the rooms given to her and her sons.

And now, on the eve of her departure, the house shone like a newly bought jewel.

Both Christmas and New Year had passed as calmly as she could have hoped for and now it was time to leave. She had promised a certain Genin she would stay the winter and Akihana always kept her promise. She had also promised Youka that despite their differences, she would do her best to be a good wife. Which was why the house was clean, his clothes were all laundered, pressed and hung neatly, food prepared and stored for at least a month and lists all over the place in case he needed something while she was away.

Of course, that didn't mean anything, it didn't have to. perhaps she was just flattering herself thinking her absence would be noticed but even so, the kunoichi was going to do everything she could to keep the house running smoothly while she was gone. Efficient, organised and attentive to detail, Akihana had labelled everything in her neat, curly handwriting, also leaving little notes of encouragement and good cheer for the Raikage to find should he require them in her absence. The notes ranged from small messages like "You can do it, I believe in you" to "don't forget to eat".

Akihana had arrived in Kumo with nothing but a prayer and a picnic basket, and she was leaving with only a little more. Her picnic basket was all packed, food for the journey, her travelling cloak for the desert and her ninja equipment all packed safely in the wicker container. The only addition to her luggage was the slim wedding band on her finger and a shard of the statue of Goddess Etro who's shrine had once stood in the Kumo mountains. Her faith and her trust, both items represented her hope for the future, futile as it may be.

As the first stars began to peep out from behind the clouds, almost shyly as if they knew winter wasn't quite over, the blonde found herself curled up on the large window seat of her bedroom, golden gaze trained to the chilly January sky. Her finger idly twisting the wedding band in her other hand. Come morning, she would have to leave, and even if she was happy to be going back home, she couldn't shrug off the feeling that she was leaving something important behind.

Something worth staying for.

It was another day for Mortarion that ended with more work than had precipitated the day it was astonishing that no matter how much he did there was always more paperwork and people eager to be heard. To be honest he simply wanted to leave it all to his stand in which would allow him the free time to do what really mattered and train till his body couldn't go anymore.

Sadly his calling was not to be and he found himself day in and day out returning home mentally drained and only seeking to be by himself alone with his thoughts and demons. Everyday that too was taken from him but not in a way he didn't fully despise. He'd come home to a meal even tough the two occupants rarely ate much. The home that had always been dark and gloomy seemed to increase in brightness and how inviting it looked everyday.

Akihana had always done so quietly and never sought to impede him although they lived together. It was a partnership he had grown to rely on though he'd never admit it. Her silence and simply existing was enough to carry him through the day allowing him to feel as if someone had his back although the words were never spoken. Tonight somehow felt different as he entered the silent home and te young woman was nowhere to be seen as he walked through the halls.

He came upon her rooms door where he could sense her presence. The kage had passed notes n his way to her and remembered that she was to leave soon for her homeland. Even as she prepared herself she was still attempting to take care of everyone else and he allowed a soft smile to etch his lips. With a slight knock on the door with his left hand he'd call out to her hoping she had not already gone to bed.

"Akihana, are you still awake, might I come in?"

Upon hearing the soft knock on the door, the Kunoichi straightened up, uncurling her slender frame into a decent sitting position and securing her dressing gown around her before she called out. "I'm awake, please come in." Already, the kunoichi was berating herself for not being outside when the young Kage came home. She should probably be doing something more productive than siting here thinking foolish thoughts.

Should he enter, she would move to stand up, hastily moving her tousled blonde hair behind her in an attempt to appear halfway presentation. Golden eyes downcast, she began. "I apologize, the time just went away from me. Should I start dinner or... " Or what was she supposed to be doing? Suddenly it seemed that everything was already done. There was no more cleaning to do, no more laundry, no more ironing, there wasn't even any more paperwork since she'd taken care of her end and even logged in the latest village financial reports.

"How can I help?" Her tone was soft as always, the hint of a smile at seeing him home ever present. She could tell it had been another grueling and tedious day, and the medic could only hope he would have few of those once she was gone. With her here at least someone constantly reminded him to look after himself, somehow she didn't think Akuoy would be quite as effective in that area.

Once he was sure she was awake upon hearing her speak to him he lightly turned the door handle, pushing the door open while stepping through the threshold. It wasn't much but he could still tell that she had been thinking about something of importance. Despite them actually speaking in great length most days he'd still grown used to her mannerisms and could tell when she had much on her mind.

His steps briefly retreated back out the room as he picked up on this. He wasn't well versed in consoling and helping people with their problems unless it involved blood shed. This was compacted on as well due to her being female and having very little to do with them as a whole. Against his better judgement however his steps once again moved forward entering into her domain.

As his step grew closer to her she spoke up and for once she wasn't the articulate woman he had come to know. She had lost her words and looked as if purpose had escaped er for the briefest of moments. He said nothing as she continued to talk trying to find something she could do to be of use. The kage found himself standing directly in front of her now looking down at what he could only now see as maybe worry or helplessness.

These were all things he didn't know how to put into words to help someone feel better, feeling better was not what he did. These situations even with Maku had always been very awkward for him. While Mortarion grew up he was taught to smile in everything, death, joy,sadness,life,pain. Everything was one facial expression without any emotion and he had long caste aside the smile so now he was just a shell.

Doing what he thought he could only do to help at this point he placed one arm around the young woman and pulled her in placing her head against his chest. No words were spoken and e hoped the situation wasn't read incorrectly as to mean anything else. He wanted to comfort er but the words for that were lost on him and he quietly hoped that by him simply being around it would help to ease whatever she felt. If need be he'd stays as long as he needed.

When the only response Akihana received to her query was a stoic expression as Youka moved to stand directly in front of her, the kunoichi looked up, only slightly startled. In their months together, she had come to the absolute conclusion that the kage would never mean her harm, but he never made it a habit to block her way like this either. In fact, he gave Akihana more space than she was entirely comfortable with but the blonde had always suspected it was for him too and so never pushed that issue. Growing up with a child who always needed her in some way or another, Akihana wasn't quite sure how to function without someone to constantly look after. All her work, the projects she did around the village, her personal friendship with the village ninja, all stemmed from needing to be useful even if in some small minor way.

As he reached to wrap an arm around her, the medic flinched, only to realize a minute later that the automatic response was not at all warranted. As he embraced her, resting her golden head firmly against his broad chest, the young bride immediately felt guilty for the first response. Not used to this kind of affection, it took a moment for her to calm her breathing, in the end synchronizing it with the soft beating of his many hearts. Tentatively hugging him back in lieu of an apology, the kunoichi stayed that way, not wanting to startle or scare him. If this was one of those rare times when he felt brave enough to express affection, it was progress.

"I was just thinking," she began tentatively, still holding on to him unless he would move away. "How odd it was to realize everything's done." Talking to him was easier when she wasn't looking at him, when she didn't have to see if her words were amusing or childish or just wrong. "I made sure to finish everything in record time so there would be nothing pending in my absence... And now I don't know what to do. It feels odd to no longer be needed."

In the periphery, the young woman knew her feeling wouldn't last, that as soon as she returned, there would be a pile of work waiting for her. She wouldn't have a moment to sit let alone wonder what to do, and yet it wouldn't be the same. She had already decided she would miss Kumo, she also knew with absolute certainly that she would miss Youka. The only question was if Kumogakure and its Kage would miss her. At this point, she couldn't say, and she wasn't sure she even wanted an answer. the lack of one left room for wishful thinking.

"Have you ever felt that way?" she asked, not daring to look up at him but unconsciously tightening her hold on the young Kage, as if his answer could determine a great many things for her.

Her first reaction to him growing closer to her was one he had seen too many times to count. It solidified who he was and for all her words of him being anything but a monster her sub conscious still forced her body to react in such a way. To be honest it was how he would prefer their relationship to stay, his thoughts towards her as a whole were beginning to shift to something more than what he wanted them to. As long as she still reeled towards him as a normal reaction even if it wasn't one she wanted to show it allowed him to keep her at a distance.

While he ran his lone hand through her golden hair softly she began to speak once more, this time it was calm, collected, and her breathing had stabilized to match his own in a turn of events. Akihana's words spoke of the need to be wanted and feel useful. It painted a very interesting image in his mind of someone tat strove to ensure she affected as many lives as possible. He still couldn't make out if this was out of selflessness or a need to feel loved by all. From what he had learned of her though he assumed it was the first.

She had asked him a question and with it increased her grip around him, it was a feeling he was not used to and reminded him of the priest that had taken care of him all those years ago when he was just a boy. He could no longer see the mans face, but he could remember the feeling of being comforted and this was it. Mortarion sighed as he attempted to answer her question as best as he could while looking out her window during their embrace.

"I don't think that you'll ever not be needed, especially here. What you do for everyone...what you do for me is simply beyond words. To answer your question, yes I have felt useless, I've seen my way of life and the things I see as needed become obsolete. Sometimes I view myself as someone drawn out of time only there to watch it pass by."

His words trailed off as he tried to figure out exactly what it was he was attempting to say before speaking up once more.

"However whenever I get that way I do remember that our lives not only affect us but each person we've come in contact with. At the end of the day we all rely on each other and removing even one person from our sphere has consequences on he whole. There are lives that you have impacted on a grand scale that simply can't be undone, so you can never think of yourself as unneeded."

He stopped speaking and returned to letting his hand slowly go through her hair absent his own thought. Hopefully his words were enough and what they meant carried enough weight for her to see what he was saying. Speaking was still not something he particularly enjoyed doing and would rather show how he felt through action. Not everyone was like him however.

As he spoke, his words accompanied by soft strokes of his fingers through her corn silk hair, the kunoichi found herself smiling slightly. When she had first arrived in Hoshi, there had been children so fascinated with her hair colour, they had asked to touch it. And while this was very different from that time, it still brought a nice memory to mind. Not only was Youka attempting to answer her but he was doing it in as comforting a way as he could manage.

"I existed outside time once," she murmured quietly, the smile clear in her voice though he couldn't see it on her face. "I thought it would be liberating but.." the blonde shook her head against him, not elaborating further. She wanted to tell him more, about Denkiteki, about living in Sanctuary, about Hoshigakure, the village built with her own hands and sweat and blood. But now was not the time.

"I'm not sure when I'll return," she finally confided, more glad than ever that she wasn't looking into his eyes for the confession. "I will certainly do my best but I'd like to arrange some form of diplomatic relationships between our two nations, and that could take more time than expected." Akihana had a idea on how to approach the issue. Gifts, tokens of diplomacy, reassurance that Kumogakure would make a strong, safe ally. And yet all her plans had the potential to go wrong. It was the uncertainty that unnerved her more than the prospect of failing.

"You'll look after yourself while I'm gone?" another question, one she wasn't sure he would answer truthfully. "Remember to eat on time even if just a little bit, and get your rest. You can't function at your best if your mind and body are not well rested." The words may have had more affect had he needed food or sleep to survive. He ate almost as little as she did and slept even lesser, and yet the medic wasn't sure how else to say she worried for him.

That she'd miss him while she was away.

Mortarion glances down at the crown of her head as she speaks of existing outside of time with a sign of joy in her voice. These were the times he couldn't really grasp if she was serious or simply over playing what she meant to hide her true meanings. His feelings quickly changed however when she switched to a more sorrowful tone, had she found a way to exist somewhere where time flowed differently? Times like this he wished he'd just read her mind and pull the answers he needed but he had made a promise that some plans needed to be reached on their own without interference and this was one of them.

"As long as you promise me you'll return there doesn't need to be any time set in stone. I know what you've sacrificed and put off to be here for so long. Take your time and come back when you're ready."

His words while said with strength in his voice also housed a slight tinge of regret for telling her not to stay with him. There were always two sides battling each time they met, part of him would miss her dearly which was shown as his grip on her subconsciously increased as his other arm wrapped around her waist gently. His other half needed her gone to prepare the village for something he'd rather her not be here for. There was also the part of needing to know exactly where she hailed from which Vaneda would be sure to procure.

"I promise I'll attempt to look after myself as best as one can while in my position. Three meals a day and plenty of rest, Akuoy and my stand in will ensure to it. If they let me slack I'll tell them they'll have to deal with you when you come back."

Of course his words spoke of the complete opposite he'd do, rest was something that always eluded him. Food was something he never needed an abundance of, yet this was how they both spoke to each other to show affection. Their relationship was that of two children constantly feeling one another out without ever going too deep. Yet he was sure she knew exactly how he felt, just as he liked to think he knew her feelings as well.

"I promise," the blonde replied honestly as always. Kumo was now just as much her home as Hoshi was and though the kunoichi wasn't sure how the details would work, she knew she would have to find a way to divide her time between the two countries and their people. "I'll be back as soon as I'm able to. Sadly I don't have an Akuoy who can stand in for me." Her laughter was filled with warmth as she stood encircled in his arms, feeling safer than she ever had before.

In that moment, as a blissful silence took over the duo, Akihana made a promise to herself. One day she would tell Youka everything. Everything from big secrets to small random facts that were in no way important. She would tell him about Hoshi and Den, she would tell him about Maku and how he had disappeared, she would tell him how as a child she used to go running barefoot through the fall leaves, she would tell him how Arata hated sweets, she would sit him down for days if need be and tell him every small detail about her, if he was willing to listen.

One day, not right now.

But instead of telling him all that, the medic simply listened as he in turn promised to look after himself, a promise in vain. She knew him well enough to know when he was telling the truth and when he was only trying to placate her. Finally raising her eyes up to him, the kunoichi spoke, amusement ringing softly in her tone. "You are a terrible liar, Raikage-sama." The words followed a small giggle, making her golden eyes sparkle with humor. "But I appreciate the sentiment behind the lie."

A moment later, her expression was serious once more as she lowered her gaze bashfully from his, in case she had angered or offended him with the quip. Instead she moved on to a more serious question she had. "I have a technique..." she began slowly, unsure how to phrase it right to make him understand what it was she sought. "It's primarily sensory, but once an individual is marked, it serves an additional purpose. It lets the marker know if the target is... functioning."

Resting her head against his chest once more in a dual effort to not look at him as well as have a safe place to hide her own face, she continued. "I would be too far away for it to serve its primary purpose but... It would let me know you're alright." If allowed, Akihana would reach up an index finger to the young Kage's collarbone, pressing a soft seal against his skin. The mark would glow for a second before disappearing. This was not supposed to be the purpose of the Mind Eye technique but Akihana found herself needing the reassurance. They weren't the letter writing sort and she doubted she would be able to carry our her task not knowing he was alright, no matter where in the world he was.

All this would occur only if he alloyed the marking, if Youka interrupted her at any stage or showed any reluctance, the young woman would immediately drop her hand, murmuring a quiet apology for her behavior.

Their embrace was something that he had wished wouldn't end, at least part of him. The kage still fought himself over what exactly she was to him, what was meant to only be a strategic pawn in his plans had turned into something he couldn't toss away without a second thought. She had become someone he relied on even if it be in the most superficial ways. The over extended embrace showed that much to him.

"It doesn't have to be as soon as you are able to...just when you are ready. Enjoy being back among your people and tell them stories on how you saw the beast and didn't back down."

He knew how the world viewed him and surely stories of what he had done to Kumogakure had spread to the corners of this world even if they were exaggerated. Mortarion also knew that he was a monster even is appearance had left him severely grotesque to the normal eye. Power came with a cost and this was his. She picked at him for attempting to lie to her, something he knew she would see through right away. He sighed a light chuckle before speaking.

"You're right, I'm not the best at lying. I'll do what's needed to stay breathing though, that I promise you."

As she mentioned marking him his body tensed against hers for the briefest of moments. No one had been this close to him and he had never let his guard down so far to allow an embrace such as this. Multiple thoughts ran through his mind as he thought of this maybe being her chance to seal away his chakra or perhaps poison him through touch. So many options were available to her and in that moment he resented himself for ever trusting her. Why now was the question that brought sensibility back to his mind. Why would she try to kill him now when she had the perfect opportunity when he had laid passed out from their trip in the dragons ravine.

"Very well, if it will put your mind at ease I'll accept the mark."

He studied her small finger intently ensuring no malice was put behind the chakra that sparked through her before drifting into a mark the just as quickly dispersed on his skin.

"Is there anything else you need for your trip, anything that I can provide that would make this time easier for you? Just ask and it's yours."