I come with cookies

So, this bad boy attack assault shit was planned for 2 days ago.  It didn’t happen, and you might ask yourself why not?  Was it due to hesitancy, a rethink of all strategies, perhaps it was because the divine hand that writes the story was busy and didn’t have time, alas none of these things are true……especially the later we don’t break the fourth wall in these parts.  The fact was Maku got lost on his way.  That’s right, the legendary S rank MN who has been a party to more village destructions than anyone got lost!  How did he get lost, well allow me to tell you.

             So there our hero was, walking across the desert.  Dunes of sand shifting, his shirt off, his skin kissed by the sun.  Hair sleek and perfect blowing behind him in the wind.  So, there he was looking sexy as hell and a caravan passed by.  On this caravan were several ladies on their way to a convention for swimsuits.  Being the good natured soul he was he volunteered to go with them to apply sunscreen and such to make sure they looked as good as he did.  So then they found their way into a hot tub that appeared in the middle of the desert………..

             Ok, in reality Maku was walking through the desert, found a cactus cut it open and drank the water.  For a day and a half he tripped the F out, but with some pretty decent fantasies.  Now however, things were back on track.  So now that we have had that pleasant little detour, I can start the real story.

             It was late evening when the lights of the village came into focus.  His maps had allowed him to find the place, even if the cactus had stood in his way.  When he was finished here, he would meet that cactus again bringing round two to a decisive victory.  Goddamn cactuses.  He had been part of several such assaults, each one slightly different in his time.  This one would possibly be the most interesting one.  As he continued to walk towards the main gates, he would start to skip.  You see, Maku didn’t look like Maku.  He looked……Like a girl scout.  His blonde hair had been pulled into two pig tails, having not had it cut in some time its length was starting to become a little ridiculous.  Hey, can’t mess with masterpieces though.  His cufflinks had caused his robes to become that of a uniform, even with a bright green sash going vertically across his chest.  Little makeshift badges pinned to it.  His mask on his head hiding all traces of his chakra looked like a barrette.  His sword looked like a twilring rod as it bounced on his left hip.  The transformation jutsu he used about a mile back gave him a female appearance, mostly what Maku himself would look like with more feminine qualities.

             Overall, he thought he looked pretty good, and couldn’t deny the skirt was a touch liberating.  If this all went well it could become a normal Monday night look for him.   In his hands he held a plain satchel, that had boxes inside.  They were empty as they had held some of the rations he had set up for the remainder of the Kumo forces.  He didn’t have a gauge on when they would arrive, but hopefully not to soon or too late.

             Skipping all the way to the gate he would look side to side, and in a very sing song voice he would exclaim, “I’ve got some cookies!!!!”.  He would smile wide and await a response, having not seen any guards at this time.  In fact it seemed like people had something to do, what that was however, he was unsure of.  The sun continued to move down, only its last bits of rays reaching out.  The area that had been sweltering was quickly beginning to cool as the desert did.  Then there was Maku…….dressed as a girl scout, transformed as a girl, offering cookies, and humming as though this was totally normal and his favorite thing to do in the world.

Now then. What does one do when they are forced to wait two days for someone who is busy? Naturally they spend time making ridiculous edits to pictures. One might be wondering, who is that sexy hunk and why is he barbecuing outside of Sunagakure.

A good question reader. Let us delve deeper into this mystery.

Suffice to say, Takeo had actually managed to make it to Sunagakure without getting lost on the way. Shocking I know, but it happened honest. The dilemma the young man had however, was trying to think of how best to approach the situation. It was a delicate political mission after all. For all his boasting, diplomacy wasn't actually his strong suit. He had sat in the desert for several hours, Sunagakure but a tiny dot on the horizon as he thought about what to do. The next day was spent drinking through his supply of cider, brainstorming for ideas of course. Drink responsibly kids.

Then suddenly, it came to him. What do people who live in a sunny desert love? Barbecues of course. Also hot muscular chefs wearing only an apron on their upper body. Don't question it, it's obviously true.

Thus here we are, with Takeo stood outside the gates with his barbecue in full swing. Naturally he needed to establish this was an envoy from Hoshigakure. Thus the logo of the village itself was embedded onto the grill, also onto his apron. Also the food packaging..just about everything really. Takeo really needed to make a good first impression. He laboured away for what seemed like hours, in actuality a few minutes, before he spotted an approaching person. His Byakugan activated. Takeo peered over towards the approaching female. Certainly quite the looker. The man waited for the woman to approach, and he noted her appearance. "Ah cookies." He said when her intentions became clear. "That would go well as a dessert for my food." Takeo motioned over to the grill where several random meat food items were currently sizzling away. "Care to join me?"

Watching the other shinobi approach and set up, Maku would hold himself back. He wanted to get his hands all over the other guys meat. He was certain it would be hot, and taste delicious. I mean who didn't like a good hamburger. He needed to stay incognito though, showing his chef skills would be a dead give away, since Maku was the greatest Chef in the shinobi world, also the only person to use a skill slot on something irrelevant to combat or aesthetics.....I mean no we don't break the 4th wall.

"I'd love to join you while we wait!" Maku would say in a high pitch sing song voice. Skipping over he would take his stance next to the new arrival. "Do you work out? You have a pretty sexy bod." He would say in a matter of fact way. Besides the man probably already knew.

Waiting he would watch the man grill and see the symbols. "Hoshi? I used to live there. I think my brother works does something important there now. Denkitiki, if you know him." He would say still in a feminine way. He didn't feel like hiding it, and the brothers Hyato hadn't exactly given away the information. In fact sans the two, the parents and one Akihanna no one else would know. Not a give away you dirty meta players!!!!! Wait shit 4th wall.

Maku would begin to sway side to side in anticipation for some food. Digging in his bag he found a couple left over cookies in a battered box. "Want one?" He would say handing it towards Takeo. His pink nail polish drinking in the dying light. The twos forms being highlighted by the active grill. "Names Aki... yours?" So he stole a name. Still doubted it was a giveaway, but with a wink to takeo that no one would be able to see unless they were up in their grill (pun) he hoped it would trigger something in the man.

He had left a message, but he hadn't expected hoshi to send help. Was he an enemy, or an ally. To early to tell. For now though, it was a waiting game.

Takeo nodded at the compliment. "You could say that. Life of a shinobi and all." It was an off handed comment. The person infront of him was clearly also one. Chakra sensory was a useful thing, when Takeo remembered it existed.

Takeo went about his work. Grilling was a skill he had picked up recently. Some might say he was a natural born prodigy at it. Likely his burgers would literally cause peoples clothes to explode off their body like that one anime. The chick identified the symbols of Hoshi, a surprise to Takeo. The mention of Denkiteki served to surprise him even more of course. "I wasnt aware Den had siblings. He was my team leader back in Tengakure." Was that revealing too much? Takeo didnt assume so, nor did he really care either way.

The burgers were nearly ready. Takeo took note of it when the girl handed him some leftover cookies. "Ta." He said, examining one before popping it in his mouth. Barbaceuing made one rather peckish. She identified herself as Aki. Curious to say the least. Takeo wasnt as sharp as usual for comedic effect, but even then this stood out. "Names Takeo, former Fourth Tenkage. Here on a mission set by Akihana Akari. Sort of a diplomatic one really, member of royality from heres gone missing. So to prevent hell from breakin loose over it Im here to explain and such." Takeo adopted a surprisingly business like approach to the explanation, before turning his attention to the grill.

"About five more minutes..I think."

"Wowzers a kage." Maku/Aki would say. "I've met a couple." He would say off handedly. Waving the cookie at Takeo that he had offered last post and yet had been ignored. Seriously what's wrong with this guy, a cookie won't ruin his abs. A former kage now doing missions for Aki??? Wierd and unusual. Maku knew that Aki was apparently running game in two countries now. She was an unusual bird, one who claimed to have no political pursuits yet arrived on top. One who claimed to hold no strength, yet could unleash quite the beast. He still remembered the look of that creature coming through her, goose bumps rose on his arm as he gave it a thought.

Still waving the cookie determined he would take it, he thought to himself, "royalty huh, not Arthur?" He would say. He had met the man once in passing after he had left a certain hand maids bedroom, or was she a scullery maid.....or the princess..........well damn he really couldn't remember. "I'm just here to sell cookies.....and bring down the entire village!!!" He would say still waving the cookie. Then gave a giggle, "just kidding that'd be silly and totally unexpected."

Hopefully the bitch would take the cookie and get the mother F***ing hint by now. If so he could put his tired arm down. "Kinda surprised we are still alone..... maybe there is a festival?" He would look out at the village. His chakra hidden, but his sensory in tact. Feeing out searching for someone, anyone...."I'd say six if you asked me...". He would say absentmindedly about the grilling meat.

This drag queen, I mean nice obviously legitimate female, seemed to like aggresively waving cookies around. Perhaps it was a form of excerise. Takeo knew all about thst, still it was odd. "I too have met a few on my travels. In semi-retired now you see. So I just go visit villages like Kumo and Hoshi." Takeo watched the cookie as it was waved around infront of him.

Finally he would reach over towards it, plucking the item from the man...girl..definitely a girl, before taking a bite out of it. He'd chew for a moment before commenting. "Quite tasty, they should sell quickly." The girlscout seemed to know a lot of people. "Yeah Arthur, think that was his name." Takeo replied. His eyes focused in on the grill in front of him. It was at this point the man found himself tugging at the waistband of his armour uncomfortably. It was quite warm with this apron on.

"Hm." Was all he replied to the festival comment at first, before he glanced upwards. "This is the right place yeah? Maybe we turned up at the wrong village." It wouldnt be the first time for Takeo. Probably not the last either. "And yeah..six seems about right. You have quite the eye for this."

Maku would allow his transformation to end, revealing himself as the damn good looking guy he was. Reaching up now that the dude had taken his cookie he would release his hair from pony tails. "I mean I think so.......I've been wrong before. Whatever we can give them a couple more." He would say as though turning into a man wasn't that big of a deal. His mask changed back to a mask, and the sword turned back to a sword, but the rest of his outfit stayed a dress like a Girl Scout. All the badges however changed to red akatsuki clouds.

Tipping his mask off, it would hang behind his head not impeding his movement. Now he could be sensed. The density of his chakra spilling out from being suppressed. Anyone with chakra sensory would feel as if he had 200 chakra. It should rattle their sensory nodules demanding attention. He was getting bored, might as well hasten the precedings.

"This is it though.....it's gotta be....unless I can't read a map." He would say still not addressing the sexual transformation. "Thanks, I'm a pretty damn good chef you see. Occasionally cooked in the palac of hoshi. Just for kicks you see. Names really Maku. Maku Jemuzu, I had this idea of "stealth" he would say with air quotes, but I also anticipated entering alone. Things change, wouldn't you say?"

Turning side to side he would let his back pop. "I left a note for whoever is leading hoshi, did they tell you anything about it?"

And just like that, the illusion faded. The hot girl turned into an...even hotter guy. Now, Takeo wasn't exactly gender bias so he was of co- nevermind moving on.

Takeo watched curiously as the entire appearance of the man shifted. A mask appeared, and the sword turning back into a sword. Takeo noted the outfit was the same though, he kind of digged th- anyway. The man took note of the red clouds that now dotted the outfit in place of badges. It was familiar to him, Xyxer had worn the outfit before. "An acquaintance of Xyxer Gyojin also?" Takeo questioned. Now that he thought about it..he might have seen it elsewhere. "He's my twin, though I'm the smarter and more charismatic one of the two of us." Takeo idly chattered.

The time had passed so he went about preparing the burgers. Placing them into buns, he'd have an arrangement of accessories to go with them. "A chef huh, the food in Hoshi's palace is quite nice. I've dined there twice before, it's where I encountered Akihana." The man then introduced himself as Maku, the name didn't sound familiar. Judging by his higher than average chakra levels, he was quite a big deal. It was only natural to not know the names of every big name though..if his name was even big. Some people just snuck under the radar sometimes. Takeo shrugged it off..not physically. "Take your pick of addons." He waved his hand lazily, moving about to prepare his own burger. He was a simplest, cheese and tomato ketchup were the only toppings he chose.

Takeo bit into the burger after a moment. His expression turned thoughtful for a second. "Turned out better than expected." The man explained a bit more about his approach. "I'm not a fan of stealth myself." Takeo replied lightly, "I prefer just walking straight in and doing what I have to do. It's only because I'm doing a favour for Aki that I'm trying to take a more..sensible approach." Finally the man asked him about a note. Takeo shook his head.

"'Fraid not. I must have left before it arrived. I only registered with the Hoshi shinobi forces to take this mission, so I'm out of the loop on their affairs. Do tell though."

"Clearly you are the sexier twin." Maku would say when takeo had finished speaking about Xyxer. "I've met him before. Twice. Once he tried to shoot me. Other time we teamed up and took out the village of Ame." He would say all this very matter of fact like they were totally normal circumstantial meetings.

"It wasn't bad, but mine is better." He would say with a wink and made his own burger. To foil Takeo, his had everything and anything that was available to put on it. "I can eat this." He would say, the closest compliment he had given a fellow culinary enthusiast.

"Normally I'm not, I thought I'd try something different. O well though." He would say continuing to eat. "It was about this really. I'm running Kumo affairs, and that has led me to here." He would say unsure if the man had heard of recent kumo movements. He'd let him speak to it. "Gonna offer them something is all...". He'd say with another wink and a devious half grin.

Takeo ran a hand through his hair. What a pleasant man. Nothing like Den, clearly the best of the two pairs of brothers were present at this little meeting. Maku went on to explain about his encounters with Xyxer. Takeo nodded, sounded about right. "Yes, he has a habit of doing that." He replied casually. Totally normal conversation right here folks.

Takeo observed as Maku went about making his own burger. It was a somewhat tense moment. This was an almost trial by fire of sorts. Takeo listened to Maku's comment on his food. The man grinned back in reply. Truth be told, it was the first time he had made food for others. To have such a compliment bestowed upon him brought warmth to his cold, cold heart. Takeo listened as Maku went into a bit more detail about why he was here. Rumours had spread about the movements of Kumogakure, though they had been unconfirmed. The description was vague, so Takeo couldn't even confirm for himself whether or not the rumours were true or not. "Kumo affairs huh, is Youka occupied with other matters?" Takeo questioned. He recalled the slightly odd Raikage when he had met him for the first time. He was an interesting fellow to say the least.

"I was actually going to head over to Kumo after this. More favours for Akihana, needed ta' explain about how she didn't betray Youka or something along those lines." Takeo gave a half hearted shrug between mouthfuls of burger. The message given by the shrug was silent but very clear. Women huh?