A long day [solo]

Orochihama decided to go for a jog. She realized she had forgotten her headband but decided she would be ok without it as she would not need it since she was only training, so she did not go back through the massive village (Konohagakure, the village hidden in clouds, was probably only called a village out of respect for tradition, when the so called "village" was much smaller), to where she lived for it. Orochihama happily dashed off into the forest, passing by a training ground with a lot of ninja practicing jutsu and often clobbering each other. Orochihama heard a whistle through the air, and ducked. A kunai flew away into the underbrush nearby, hitting another ninja who charged into the fray. Orochihama sat, stunned, and then recovered her wits in time to catch a smoke bomb lobbed in a random direction from somewhere in the training grounds. Orochihama then hurled the smoke bomb (now activated) back into the training grounds and continued jogging. Orochihama decided to switch to running when the smoke bomb activated, creating a mighty explosion that shook the earth, literally. She continued running as a large plume of smoke began to expand out of the training grounds. Orochihama sprinted away from the training grounds but the smoke had more stamina and was faster so eventually she got lost in the smoke produced by the smoke bomb. Orochihama paused, and tried to get her bearings. She clambered up to the top of the nearest tree but even at the top there was too much smoke to be able to see where she was.

Orochihama started off in what she thought was a good direction to get back and began to jog again. Orochihama ran for miles and miles, constantly trying to avoid tripping over stuff like rocks, and branches that would appear from out of nowhere (or possibly someone cheating and using Kamui, despite the ban on it, to move branches and entire trees and boulders into Orochihama's way, though this is quite unlikely). Orochihama stumbled along, until she came across (actually, she stepped on) a big bee hive, with bees the size of her thumb. Orochihama only realized her mistake when it was too late. The entire beehive emptied as a massive horde of bees sought to pursue the intruder. Orochihama ran some more, now fleeing for her life, and passed around a copse, winding up in a small village of ninjas (labeled the village devoid of competency). The ninja, thinking Orochihama was a member of the Kamizuru clan (a clan of bee controllers and former rivals of the Aburame clan) panicked, thinking they were going to be invaded by Iwagukure, the village hidden in stone. This illusion was perpetuated as Orochihama ran through the village screaming at the top of her lungs, followed by a large number of bees. The villagers, eventually realizing that apart from the cloud of bees, there were no other attackers, decided to pursue Orochihama. Orochihama glanced over her shoulder, by holding up a rear view mirror, and saw what appeared to be the entire village in hot pursuit. If it was not obvious already, the villagers were pursuing Orochihama, who was also being pursued by a swarm of giant bees, in case the reader has forgotten. Orochihama redoubled her pace, and then, on noting that more bees from other hives were joining the ones pursuing him, redoubled her pace again, and then retripled, requadrupled, and requintupled her pace, for the extra speed - her legs became blurs like those seen in cartoons. The ninja following herdecided she was a coward and sped up in an attempt to catch up to him. The bees, determined not to let the other ninja get to their quarry before they (the bees) did, also sped up. This caused Orochihama to speed up further. That in turn caused both the ninjas and the big bees to run faster, prompting Orochihama to run faster still. This cycle continued on for quite a while, as each group caused each other group to get faster. Unfortunately for the bees, their wings were much smaller than the legs of the humans so they started to fall behind. Orochihama and the villagers promptly forgot about the bees and focused on each other.

All three group’s entire appearance was that of the amazing blur when they ran into the village of badgers.
A terrible fight broke out, between the villagers and the badgers (which were normal size fortunately. Fists and paws flew everywhere. Then the bees showed up. Everyone began trying to get the bees to go away so the fists were put away, or at least not used by anyone other than taijutsu specialists, and many started to try to use jutsu. Unfortunately, the bees were stinging everywhere (but they luckily had a weak sting, though distracting) so almost none of the jutsu came out right. Swatting bees left and right (and up and down, and front and behind as well, never mind all of the other angles she could have been indecent enough to have also covered all the other sides and angles like up just slightly to the left of straight in front, and down below midpoint to the lower right just above the tree root on the left bottom near her foot, along with many others not mentioned but also definitely present). Orochihama first realized people were having trouble using jutsu, when she saw a ninja try to shoot a dragon head shaped flame (she only knew because the ninja started muttering that she had no choice but to use it) from her mouth. The ninja got distracted by a bee stinging herhowever, and she instead spewed out a full blown dragon, made of fire, which decided that it would... take a nap. The dragon curled up, in midair, under a waterfall, and went to sleep. It realized too late that the waterfall was going to dissipate it as it was not an actual, physical dragon, but only a dragon in a sense. The ninja who had accidentally created the dragon cursed, and started throwing a tantrum (which actually worked better against the bees as she was wildly lunging around and making herself a harder target, her rage also made herhit harder and faster). Orochihama, while swatting bees as noted earlier from all angles, points, and sides, observed this and decided to imitate him. So there were then two of the ninja (Orochihama and the other ninja who summoned the fire made dragon) smashing around, screaming at the top of their lungs, and cursing (and do not forget the great workout).

One of the ninja nearby shouted into the melee to watch out because she was a bakuton user and that she would blow away all the bees and then yelled to get away. She then attempted to use a bunch of the C-1 jutsu. Silence... nothing happened. Then, suddenly, a bunch of lowercase letters ("c" to be specific) were formed out of dirt, and because they were made of dirt with nothing to hold them together were made of dirt so they were falling apart as they floated. The ninja cursed (bees had stung her hands so they could not make the bombs properly) and tried again, this time putting more chakra into it. Bunches of “c”s were created, again, but at least they were uppercase, this time. That was an improvement. The bakuton user roared, threw the remains of the "c"s at the bees and then successfully made a C-2 dragon, which floated in mid-air about 50 feet above the ground. The bees, thinking the dragon was their queen happily began flying around it in circles. One of them stung the dragon in the tail, setting off all the bombs and the dragon as well. Fortunately, all the combatants (except the bees) were in hiding, including the dragon's creator so no-one was harmed, except a badger next to Orochihama who started chasing Orochihama around (both ran over the bakuton user who had given up and collapsed against a tree).


Someone then had the bright idea to make a bunch of shadow clones to combat the bees, one on one. She messed up. Instead of making normal shadow clones, she created... a bunch of clones of her shadow. The ninja cursed, and threw a rock which skimmed over (in other words barely missing) Orochihama's head as she fled in a circle around the clearing, pursued by the badger. Two other ninjas began to use jutsu, one of whom started using the white-snake sage stuff and the other summoned a susano'o. Then they got distracted by Japanese mythology and started fighting (or was it that the snake sage art stuff guy wanted the other's body) each other. At least they took out a lot of bees in the process, and almost added Orochihama to the body count. Someone went wild and began trying to use Chidori but accidentally made one thousand birds, made of lightning, which each took out a bee (the in fact dissipated, frying the bee they touched). Then someone tried to transform into a slug, but only succeeded in making everyone in the area feel sluggish, just looking at what the slug looked like.

Eventually someone had the bright idea to make a giant honey pot which distracted the bees. Then everyone hurled a bunch of attacks at the bees, (Orochihama flung explosive tags tied to kunai lifted from a villager collapsed on the ground), scaring the bees away. The villagers, badgers, and Orochihama collectively sighed a breath of relief, before remembering the each of the other group’s presences, getting back up into a battle stance, and then charging into the fray again.

Orochihama decided it was time to retreat and dashed off into the forest, letting the badgers and villagers duke it out. She decided to flee as the sounds of fighting grew more and more loud. She spent several more words running and then decided she needed a breather. A couple of other ninja dashed over from the now faraway battle sparring at the training grounds and joined Orochihama in gasping for breath. A flying badger (not under its own power) sailed away through the trees nearby. The three of them started running to evade any possible pursuit, splitting up to avoid being all attacked.

Orochihama ended up running by herself, due to the earlier split, and ended up at a lake. The lake was so big she was not sure whether it was a really, really big pond, a really large lake, or a small ocean. The water was filled with a bunch of fish swimming around. Orochihama's stomach rumbled and she decided to have a quick snack. She started a fire, and tried to grab a fish out of the water. It did not work. She tried to grab one again, this time closing her fingers around the fish, but it slipped from her fingers.Orochihama got mad and dived in. The fish scattered. Orochihama, now visibly frustrated (hunger clawed at her stomach, reducing the effectiveness of her judgment), clambered out of the water and the fish swam back in to the area many had just vacated. Orochihama cursed, annoyed, as there were hundreds of little fish swimming around in front of herwithin a ten feet radius, all of them near the surface, and she could not grab any. She heard a fearsome crackling and, looking behind him, saw that her fire had grown a lot and was starting to spread to the undergrowth. Orochihama viciously cursed, causing nearby little mammals (and fish) to cringe. She (Orochihama) started tossing water onto the fire, and after several frantic sets of tossing which each lasted about ten and one and a half minutes, she was hungrier than ever and she was back to square one, or if possible, square negative two (because the fish were avoiding her section of the shore, and she had burned away a lot of potential kindling.

Orochihama then had a bright idea. She slowly approached the water, and apologized for her earlier outburst. The fish then swam back in towards shore and then acted as if nothing had happened. Orochihama then suddenly shot out both her hands and tried to grab a fish. She missed, despite there being lots in that one little area. Annoyed, she tried again, and missed. More annoyed, she tried again, again, and missed again. Orochihama was very irritated so she started catching (or trying to at least) fish everywhere. Eventually (after around ten minutes) she caught a fish. The fish objected to being caught though, and it got into a fight with Orochihama....

The fish started by squirming out of Orochihama's hands and wriggling around in the one centimeter deep water by the shore, tripping Orochihama when she tried to bend over and grab it, causing herto fall over into the water. The fish began to swim away while she was distracted but Orochihama noticed and grabbed the fish. The fish did not want to be grabbed and a struggle erupted. Orochihama would try to get her hands completely around the fish and the fish would start splashing herin the face. This did not endear the fish to Orochihama, however, instead further angering him, increasing her attempts to catch the fish, increasing its attempts to splash herin the face, and generally soak him. Eventually, Orochihama managed to pull the fish out of the water and hold it in the air. The fish, realizing it was caught, and that it was going to run out of oxygen soon, put up a fierce fight. It started thrashing around, using its tail as a pendulum, in an attempt to escape, again. Orochihama turned the fish around in her hands, and started to attempt to outstare it. Glancing at the fish’s face, there was something fishy/ suspicious about it, as it was planning something.


Suddenly, an impact slammed Orochihama’s head to one side. The recipient of the earlier mentioned blow looked at the side that the blow had come from, but she did not see anything. Then, just after she had turned, another blow, this time from the other side, rocked her head further in the same direction. The force of this blow was somewhat reduced, compared to the first blow which Orochihama had earlier received. The receiver of this second blow then looked over to the second side, hoping to get a glance of her attacker, but she got hit a third time, from the first side. Then, as Orochihama started to turn her head towards the first side again, she got a vicious upper-cut, in the ear (whoever was attacking herhad barely missed hitting herin the chin. Orochihama let go of the fish with one hand and rubbed her ear, and got another smack, which felt lopsided. She (Orochihama) then decided she had had enough and started to retreat. This did not help as the blows began to rain in from all three sides (three if you count the lower front, otherwise it is two sides).

Eventually Orochihama heard gasping, and figured that after the recent flurry of blows, her attacker was tired out. She looked forward, and looked at the fish she was still holding. The fish glared at him. Orochihama saw a brief motion, below, and then was given a nasty uppercut on the chin. Once her head had finished rocking back and forth, she saw a blur of motion from below the fish and then her head was slammed again to the side, the second one. Now very angry, hungry, and humiliated, Orochihama cursed, and saw, definitely saw the fish's tail moving to slug her again. She groaned, and then grabbed the fish by the tail, shifting her grip from the fish's body to its tail. Orochihama then tried to slam the fish's head onto a nearby rock, but the fish bent its body, somehow, and chomped its little teeth (felt more like they were fangs, to Orochihama) around Orochihama's arm....

Orochihama yelled, and shook her arm around, flailing the fish around, into and through a lot of bushes, incidentally and unintentionally clearing away the area around the now doused fire. The fish chomped down harder. A bear nearby heard the commotion and charged over, thinking it would be able to land itself some food. It saw the struggle between Orochihama and decided to help Orochihama, since it looked like the fish had attacked her(Orochihama). The bear lunged forward, fangs beared/ bared, but Orochihama thought he, not the fish, was the intended target so she bopped the bear (which was bear naked) on the nose, and the bear, hit instead by the flailing tail of the fish, decided to flee. The bear fled off into the distance as Orochihama and the fish continued to fight. Orochihama eventually clobbered the fish headfirst onto a pebble, and the fish blacked out. Orochihama finally got her meal (cooked over a fire, which this time was not likely to spread beyond the fire pit).

Orochihama, after eating, had a short breather. Then she set off, back for her village. She started jogging, like at the beginning of her training. Then she decided to start running on the tree tops. This worked great for the first few trees until she found one with really thin branches. Orochihama fell down through the branches and landed on her rump on the ground. That hurt, in more ways than one. Then Orochihama decided it would be cool to get back to the village in a handstand.

She (not having learned much from just a bit earlier) started doing a handstand walk up the nearest tree (the one she fell from). This was very hard as Orochihama was very tired from doing thousands of words worth of training. As she climbed, Orochihama observed a beetle climbing up a small leaf in a similar manner. Orochihama dutifully clambered up the tree, grunting with exertion, as her muscles strained under the load (a lot of it being due to the leverage). It did not help that when she was scaling the trunk, she kept her body perpendicular to the surface she was traveling along. This meant that, while scaling the tree trunk, her (Orochihama in case you have forgotten) had her body horizontal, with only chakra holding her body straight, perpendicular to the tree. This is actually somewhat difficult to do for a genin. Orochihama struggled up the tree, and tragedy struck! As Orochihama was nearing the top of the tree, her foot caught on the branch above, somehow, and Orochihama slipped. Orochihama fell through and between the branches (depending on whether Orochihama happened to hit or just barely miss a branch [and getting her hide skinned). Orochihama continued to keep falling through and if lucky around big branches, continuously either getting the heck scared out of him, or cursing the air black around her(the subject was that she was falling for the second time in an amazingly ridiculously little amount of time).

Orochihama jumped to the next tree, only to realize the "next" tree was in the wrong direction. she tried to twist in midair and reverse direction but only succeeded in stopping herself in the middle of the air. The resulting scream was heard for the time it took "Orochihama to fall all of twenty and point one five two six four eight seven feet, and landed back on the ground with a thud. Determined to go back to her village through the trees, Orochihama got to her feet, and, mainly because her arms were tired, decided to not try to climb back up the tree trunk (again) in a handstand, so she climbed up the regular way. After several painstakingly carefully spent climbing minutes, Orochihama made it back up to the top.

He started to run around, jumping between the trees, and then saw a bird. Distracted as a result, Orochihama completely forgot about wanting to head home and took off after the bird. Yes, she literally tried to follow the bird, by jumping off the tree she was standing on and flapping her arms as if they were wings. This, quite understandably, did not work well, and she only realized it when she had fallen several feet below her starting point. Fortunately she caught onto the tree that had been in front, and stopped herself from falling any further by grabbing on with chakra and creating a new version of tree climb (or so she thought, many others had also come up with the simple idea of applying chakra through the hands instead of the feet). Orochihama scrambled back up, ready to follow the bird. she could not see it so she climbed to the top of the tree, but the bird was still invisible. she did catch a glimpse of the bird when she tried standing on her toes, on the tip of the entire tree. she did not keep her balance, though, and only managed to get a general idea of the direction the bird was flying in.

Once again, Orochihama fell to the ground. she managed to grab slightly onto the tree, though, as she fell, so the impact did not hurt nearly as much as normally (it was becoming normal for herto fall off or out of trees, unfortunately) but it still hurt her pride to be (potentially) seen falling out of trees. she clambered back up, and began tree hopping in the direction the bird had taken. After a long time, she eventually saw the bird again, and, curious to see where it was going, tried to more closely follow it. The bird was much more agile and had much better endurance than Orochihama had, and it began to gain ground again on her. Orochihama tried to keep up, but eventually she had to sit down and take a breather. she sat down, and leaned against the tree trunk.

The side of the tree trunk, at least the part she was lying against (the tree had had a simply nuts squirrel who had carved out of the tree a tunnel that spun around inside the 20-foot tree trunk around and around, constantly changing direction except in that it constantly went down towards the ground) broke (to be more precise, the knot which had covered the tunnel popped out of the hole and down the tunnel) and, since Orochihama was leaning against the former cover of the hole, she fell down into the tunnel. her screams began to echo out of the tunnel as she slid backwards down the chute. Inside, the light rapidly faded, and Orochihama tried to flip around (successfully after a great deal of effort) to face with her hands forward, towards the entrance to the tunnel she had just unintentionally used. After a long struggle, she eventually managed to flip around to the previously described position. Then Orochihama started scrabbling at the tunnel. Trying to stop herself from sliding further (in her panic she completely forgot about applying chakra), Orochihama clawed, grabbed, and continued to slide down the tunnel. Nothing she tried slowed herdown in the least.

Eventually she was deposited out the edge of a tunnel, into thin air. Arms flailing and lungs yelling as loud as was possible, Orochihama landed… on a pile of acorns, in a large chamber. she got up, to see a very astonished squirrel looking at her(Orochihama), at first with surprise, then annoyance, and then anger (the squirrel thought the strange noisy thing that fell through its hole was there to steal acorns). The squirrel charged at Orochihama, who fled, despite the fact that the squirrel was only about 6 or 8 inches tall (he [Orochihama] did not take the time to improve the accuracy of her initial guess). Orochihama fled toward the wall, pursued by the angry squirrel, and, upon reaching the wall, Orochihama turned around, and slowly backed up until the wall touched her back. Then she fled in terror off to one side (in more clear terms Orochihama fled to one side, due to terror, as opposed to fleeing in terror’s (whoever that is) arms, which would not make sense), again pursued by the squirrel. Orochihama ran faster, eager to distance herself from the squirrel that was agilely jumping from acorn to acorn. Then, as the squirrel began to fall behind, it increased its pace, the end result being that the squirrel and Orochihama were running around the circumference of the inside of the tree trunk, on opposite sides, and why the squirrel did not cut across the middle or reverse directions and use a number of other tactics is still unknown. In any case, the squirrel and Orochihama ran around in circles, neither the squirrel or Orochihama gaining or losing ground to the other.

Eventually, desperate to fend off the squirrel, Orochihama flung an acorn at the squirrel. The squirrel ducked, as a second came whizzing by, almost hitting it in the ear. The squirrel got angry and picked up an acorn. A third acorn successfully walloped the beleaguered squirrel in the ear, inducing lots of pain and hatred toward the acorn’s hurler (Orochihama). The squirrel grabbed an acorn and hurled it toward the squirrel’s tormentor. Orochihama had tossed the third acorn and turned back toward the front, concentrating on just running away. The acorn flung by the squirrel took her completely by surprise. It smacked Orochihama in the ear, making her wince, as she turned to face her attacker. The squirrel let fly with another acorn and, because she saw it in time, Orochihama ducked, as a result the acorn flew overhead (literally) bounced off the inside of the tree trunk, and hit the squirrel in the gut. The squirrel was not amused, and threw another acorn, this time hitting Orochihama before she could react, in the abdomen. Orochihama retreated, and the two took up positions on opposite sides with their back to the outside of the tree trunk. A flurry of acorns filled the air as Orochihama and the squirrel endeavored to hurl acorns at each other and take the other one out. The tide of battle swayed back and forth as Orochihama and the squirrel alternately propelled volleys of acorns at the intended target (most of which missed). The battle continued for quite a time, until the squirrel and Orochihama were exhausted, and each collapsed on against the inside of the tree trunk.



Each of them had a bright idea at the same time (actually, it was the same idea thought of by the two of them, individually). The squirrel and Orochihama each began quickly construction of parapets of acorns, both taking time off of hurling acorns to build the fortifications, to reduce the amount of time needed to be spent dodging acorns.

The fortifications were completed and each of the combative parties went back to work, hurling acorns at the other. Acorns would sail in volleys as either the squirrel or Orochihama would send a volley of acorns over at the opponent, hoping it would hit the opponent if they were looking out from behind their parapets, or that they would look and get hit as a result. The volleys would periodically sail across the interior of the tree trunk ever few seconds, the amount of time it took for one of the combatants to grab another handful of acorns, aim in the perceived general direction of the other combatant, and then actually launch the acorns, either one after the other, or as one big flying scattering group, with both having the same general success rate, which was very low.

The fight dragged on, neither side about to give in. Neither side heard the sliding of another being down the chute in the tree. At the sight of a much larger squirrel (about a foot tall) slamming through the chute and landing on the pile of acorns, the two combatants froze. The smaller squirrel hung its head, and the bigger squirrel apparently started to yell at it. Then the bigger squirrel, still yelling at the smaller squirrel, grabbed Orochihama and hauled her up and out the same chute she had gotten trapped in. Then once Orochihama was back where she had been on the tree branch, the squirrel kicked her in the buttocks, making Orochihama start to fall through the air.

As she fell, Orochihama could have sworn the bigger squirrel had continued yelling at the smaller squirrel. Then, since the ground was some ways off, Orochihama took the opportunity to consider that she had just been manhandled (or maybe squirrel handled) by something less than a fifth of her height. As she continued to fall, Orochihama burned with resentment and decided to find a way to vent on the way back to her village. Then she realized… she, Orochihama, had forgotten the way back to her home village. she was in trouble. Orochihama was trying to figure out where her home village was when she finished her journey downwards and landed in a bush. Spitting out leaves, Orochihama clambered up a nearby tree (not the one she had fallen into) and, standing near the top, looked around for familiar landmarks.

To put it simply, she did not see the village, or any landmarks near it. she did see a large rock formation, which was pretty large, and straight ahead of the direction she was currently facing, so maybe she could see her village from there. Orochihama checked around but there were no other landmarks to speak of, so she set off for the rock formation, intending to get to the rock formation’s summit.

Orochihama arrived at the rock formation without incident, but she did not climb the rock without incident. Several times, Orochihama slipped, and almost fell, but a quick application of chakra held her on the rock face. Orochihama slowly made her way up the rock face, and eventually began to see the summit. After some time… Orochihama sat on a rock around the top and then realized she was not on the summit of the rock formation. Just in case it would affect how far she could see, she shifted the rock to the actual summit of the rock formation, started to look around, and froze. Straight to her front was the village of Kumogakure, a fair distance away. Well… that was stupid. When she had looked around at the tree, she had neglected to look right behind her. The village was on the other side of the tree from the rock when she had climbed up to look for the village. Orochihama slapped her forehead, cursed, and began her descent back down the rock formation.

He (Orochihama, obviously) ran into a series of obstacle while attempting to make her way down the rock formation. The first obstacle was literal. Backing down the rock formation, Orochihama rammed her buttocks into a solid object…. Turning her head, Orochihama was confronted by a Rashomon gate. she was taken aback by the enormity of the gate. Looking around, she saw a guy summon a second Rashomon gate. Orochihama walked up to the guy and saw the Kumogakure headband, and upon conversing with the guy, learned the other guy was a top jounin known for defensive maneuvers. Orochihama scrawled graffiti on the wall when the jounin turned away and then scrambled down the rock formation. Looking back, Orochihama saw a wave of fire followed by a wave of water obliterate any evidence of the graffiti, much to Orochihama’s resulting relief. Then she (Orochihama) saw the resulting storm system forming and decided she (Orochihama) had to get down the rock formation faster to escape a potential flash flood and take care of number one (which is another way of saying Orochihama).

Of course, all the potential obstacles that could be encountered by Orochihama on the rock formation were encountered when she was in a really big hurry as opposed to just slightly annoyed. The first thing Orochihama ran into was a… furious badger. Of course, Orochihama did not think this would be the only angry badger she would possibly encounter, so she threw a rock, attempting to knock out the badger in one hit despite the badger in question being around twenty feet tall. The tactic did not appear to work as the badger looked angrier after the stone hit it and began chasing Orochihama. Orochihama fled in terror, not paying attention to where she was going. Orochihama turned to face the badger and began backing up. Then she felt a solid object behind her. Orochihama saw the badger approaching at full speed, through the air, and she (Orochihama) ducked. The badger flew into the back of one of the earlier Rashomon gates, and slumped to the ground. Orochihama breathed a sigh of relief, until the badger opened its eyes. Orochihama began pedaling away downhill as fast as she could, not noticing that the badger was stumbling around, singing songs off key.

As was stated just previously, Orochihama did not notice the now silly badger and ran away back downhill, hoping that any potential flashfloods would have the grace to wait. she ran face first into what she thought was a second angry badger (or just an angry badger, if you don’t count the one who was now being silly). If the second badger was not angry before, it certainly was after getting bowled over, barely avoiding tumbling down a mountain, and then getting run into by a fellow badger singing terrible songs. Orochihama heard several snarls and assumed the worst. she sprinted downhill.

Fleeing downhill, Orochihama occasionally snuck peaks over her shoulder (the right one, not that the left one was the wrong one) and saw the now furious badger gaining. After looking behind her for the umpteenth time, Orochihama tripped over a rock. Orochihama heard a rustle as she fell, and looking around to the other side, she saw a big boar flying through the air toward her (Orochihama). Fortunately for its intended target, the boar had aimed for where the head of its target (Orochihama) had been, so when Orochihama landed on the ground, the boar continued on overhead. The end result was that the badger charging downhill intersected with the boar which was heading to the side, and the resulting impact when the two of them hit the ground shook the ground. Orochihama felt it especially as the boar ended up falling just behind her. All three dizzily clambered to their feet, and began heading off downhill again, the badger in the lead. Then the badger remembered… it was supposed to be chasing Orochihama, so it stopped in its tracks, turned to face behind it, and then was first bowled over by a fleeing Orochihama, and then the boar. Orochihama did not dare stumble over the falling badger as it would slow her down enough to get gored by the boar following her. The boar happily trampled the badger, which was understandably not happy about the turn of events.

Orochihama heard the boar trample the badger, and glanced behind her, accidentally taking the wrong route down the rock formation. she only realized her mistake after she had ran off the cliff, and began flailing her arms around, trying to grab the cliff wall which was several feet out of her reach. Orochihama’s short life flashed before her eyes, not that there was much to see, as she closed her eyes and prepared for what would inevitably await her at the end of her fall. Meanwhile the boar and badger each ran to the edge of the cliff, but upon seeing the drop, began running down the other path which lead to the bottom of the rock formation.

Orochihama fell through the air, and suddenly landed in a pond. she fell under the surface, and began thrashing back up to the surface, where she took several gulps of air and pondered her fate. she began applying chakra to her feet and hands and slowly stood up on the surface of the water. As she got to her feet, Orochihama stopped applying chakra with her hands, and looked around. Above her, the ledge she had fallen off of earlier loomed, twenty feet above her. Orochihama heard a rustle of water, and looking down, saw a large dark shape appearing under the water. Reflex kicked in, and Orochihama ran towards the nearest side. Orochihama had barely cleared the dark shape when a giant fish (formerly called “the dark shape”) snapped its jaws just shy of Orochihama’s feet. The fish lumbered forward in the water, its closed mouth hitting Orochihama and propelling her (Orochihama) forward ten feet, before disappearing under the water again. Orochihama decided that leaving the water would be a good idea and continued running towards the nearest side. her charge was stopped early as the badger appeared out of nowhere, fangs and claws bared.

Orochihama abruptly turned and ran the opposite way as the fish suddenly popped out from underwater, again snapping its giant jaws together where Orochihama had paused, showering the badger and Orochihama with water droplets like it had earlier though not mentioned, when it first tried to swallow Orochihama. The badger covered its face with its paws, and Orochihama ran for her life towards the other side. The fish, now having missed twice in a row, was not happy, so it turned around and continued pursuing Orochihama, who by this time was already back in the middle of the pond (which was bigger than might have been assume initially). The badger stayed where it was, stunned by the sudden appearance of the fish, while the fish just mentioned turned and tore off after Orochihama. Orochihama heard the rapidly approaching splashing and ran for dear life towards the other side, only to get screech to a halt when the boar from earlier burst out of the foliage, also skidding to a stop in shock at Orochihama’s sudden appearance. Orochihama turned and began running back to the middle of the pond, again narrowly dodging the fish who snapped its jaws just ahead of Orochihama, sinking under the water just in time to avoid Orochihama’s flurries of stamps on the surface of the water aimed at it (the fish).

Orochihama got to the middle of the pond and looked around. The fish was stealthily approaching from behind Orochihama, the badger was waiting on one side, and the boar on the other, leaving only the front to flee to. Orochihama began running away to the front, pursued by the fish, with the boar and badger each running along the shore, all of whom were trying to get to Orochihama’s chosen spot of land first. The boar and badger, each initially unaware of the other, attempted to jump Orochihama as she was wading through the water, as did the fish from behind, as its prey was about to leave its habitat. Orochihama put on a burst of speed, and waded through the water at tremendous speed, before tripping over a rock, and disappearing underwater briefly, allowing time for the badger and boar to sail what was now overhead, each crash landing on the now very annoyed fish.

Orochihama recovered and dashed the rest of the way out of the water. Retreating to the edges of the forest, she risked a quick glance at the shore, where she had just been, and saw the boar, badger, and fish all fighting. The intensity almost made “Orochihama feel tired, and did make her feel reasonably confident that the combatants would be engaged for quite some time.

Orochihama turned and ran off back into the forest. she stumbled into a clearing not far away from the pond, where, crouching in a bush, Orochihama saw another genin from Konohagakure practicing taijutsu. Having nothing better to do, Orochihama decided to do some normal training for once (forgetting that she wanted to be back in Konohagakure) and challenged the other genin to a sparring match. The two ninja took up battle stances, counted to three, and then launched themselves at each other. Orochihama was quite out of practice, she was soon stuck in a wedgie given by her opponent. Dangling from her opponent's fist, Orochihama quickly conceded and challenged the other genin to a rematch.

As soon as the next fight began, Orochihama jumped into a flying jump kick, but the taijutsu user jumped back, landing on the ground under a tree. Orochihama continued on forward through the air, kicking off a beehive from its nestling point in the tree the other genin was next to. Thee bees were quite understandably not amused by this turn of events. They attacked Orochihama and the other genin, pursuing them in three groups, one after Orochihama, one after the other genin, and a third group who had not been paying attention to where they had been going and were now lost. Orochihama parted ways quickly with the other genin, each hoping that all the bees would chase the other, but both were tailed as mentioned by a dedicated group of bees. Obviously the sparring was adjourned. Orochihama fled off into the depths of the forest, blindly stumbling along. she stopped for a breather when the bees pursuing her were no longer audible, but in fact they were just behind her, sneaking up, preparing to sting her. One of the bees accidentally made a small rustle in the wind, however, so Orochihama looked behind her in time to see herself getting stung in the rump. Orochihama jumped, and took off. The two groups, pursued and pursuer dashed around through the forest. Eventually though, the bees tired out and headed back to their bee hive to begin repairs, but Orochihama only noticed after she stopped because the woods had become dark. Orochihama looked around her, noting that the forest was all dark, and many areas were pitch black. she at first began posturing in an attempt to regain confidence, which worked until she began hearing growls and seeing many eyes looking at her in the dark. Terrified, Orochihama fled, blindly stumbling around in the dark, ultimately only succeeding in attracting attention (more pairs of eyes were watching her from the shadows, and not always disappearing when she looked in their direction) and getting lost. Eventually though, the owners of the many eyes got tired of simply watching and the various creatures began to chase Orochihama.

Orochihama fled through the dark forest, chased as mentioned earlier by a horde of mostly invisible creatures (the eyes were the only parts of their body that were visible) until she got to a break in the dark forest, more specifically a clearing with a single really tall tree in the middle. Orochihama looked behind her at the dark part of the forest, to see the eyes that had been pursuing her stop at the edge of the darkness. Orochihama grabbed some rocks, and, sprinting to the tree, threw them at the sources of some of the eyes, and quickly began climbing the tree. Once up in the lower branches of the tree, Orochihama looked around her at the dark parts of the forest and saw that all the eyes had disappeared. Lost once again, Orochihama began climbing the tree, since it was taller than all the other trees, hoping to get a glimpse of Konohagakure.

Orochihama continued climbing in the next paragraph, until she encountered a woodpecker, jabbing very forcefully at the tree branch she was sitting on. Orochihama demanded to know if the woodpecker was trying to make her fall, and was completely ignored. Annoyed, she raised her fist, as the woodpecker finished chipping away through the branch she was sitting on. Orochihama demonstrated a very good example of the cartoon physics she so often saw in comics and cartoons, by not falling with the branch. Instead, she hung in the air, until she noticed the branch had begun falling down, and then she began to fall too. Orochihama flailed her arms, forgetting to apply chakra, and ended up stopping her fall the hard way. she barely got her fingertips onto several tree branches before one directly beneath her stopped her (Orochihama was stopped, not the tree branch, in her downward descent). Orochihama got the breath knocked out of her as the branch did a whammy to her gut. Orochihama slumped over the branch, motionless, recovering very slowly, at her own, unusually slow pace, and then she began to slip over, headfirst. Desperate to keep herself from falling like she just had earlier, again, Orochihama grabbed onto the branch, but her body slid over the side so she swung up her feet too and wrapped her legs around the branch, like she had with her hands. Realizing she was in a position to practice one of the exercises she was worst at, with the added bonus of having no one nearby to laugh at her (he had forgotten about the woodpecker), Orochihama dangled from the branch. Soon, after around ten and a half minutes, Orochihama began to feel fatigued, and decided she had had enough, and clambered back up the branch, with the help of chakra to hold her on. Then, Orochihama's arms quickly recovered and Orochihama decided she had enough of slacking off and resumed the sloth exercise position. she lasted twenty point two five seven eight four nine three six seconds, before Orochihama decided she had had had enough, and clambered back onto the tree branch.

Orochihama pondered what she had just said (specifically the "hah hah had" phrase) and her brain began to hurt. Deciding to not think about it anymore (specifically the "had had had" phrase), Orochihama remembered her original goal involving the tree, and began to climb up again. Unfortunately, the woodpecker had just finished chipping away at its next branch, which also happened to be just directly above Orochihama. Orochihama heard the branch which was just mentioned crack, as it separated from the tree. she stared in horrified fascination as the branch began to fall towards her in slow motion, before the leafy end suddenly swatted her in the face, before hurtling on downwards. Orochihama looked up the tree at the culprit and swore. All fired up, Orochihama began climbing up the tree at top speed, and soon was eye to eye with the woodpecker. she flexed her muscles and attempted to glare menacingly at the woodpecker. The woodpecker paused in its work while she (Orochihama) was posturing, and, doing a sweeping gaze of its surroundings, completely failed to even notice Orochihama, much less take note of, or even pick a fight with her. Orochihama got annoyed and swung a fist at the woodpecker. The woodpecker did not move, and Orochihama's fist hit it. The woodpecker did not react in any noticeable way. Angry, Orochihama tried again, but the woodpecker noticed this time and blocked the blow with its wing, stopping Orochihama in her tracks. The woodpecker lunged at Orochihama, who recoiled in terror, but missed (the woodpecker did, anyway) and fell off the tree, before slamming its head into a branch. Unconscious, the woodpecker fell away out of sight, falling into the bushes below.

Orochihama gritted her teeth and continued her journey upwards. Once at the top, Orochihama began looking around, and froze. Right before her eyes, barely two miles away, was Konohagakure, behind her to the right. Orochihama had successfully gone right by Konohagakure while stumbling around in the darkness. How embarrassing. Orochihama cursed, and began heading back towards her village again, carefully avoiding the dark parts of the forest. Near the entrance, Orochihama was surprised by a pitfall, as she stepped on a pile of branches. she fell in. Fortunately, the pit was completely empty, though the branches had proved to be fake (the paper had torn when she was stepping on it) so she had nothing to help her climb back out of the pit. Orochihama got angry and began sticking kunai into the sides of the pit to use as hand holds, to claw her way up. However, the soil was not very strong, and Orochihama ended up on her bottom, on the bottom of the pit, in front of a dirt pile. The wall was word away where dirt had collapsed. Undeterred, Orochihama tried to climb again, this time on a different section of the wall. The wall collapsed too. Annoyed, Orochihama tried another different section of the wall, with the same result. Orochihama continued on like this until she had tried every spot on the wall at least ten times. At this point she could get out easily because every time the walls collapsed, it would add a pile of dirt to the bottom of the pit, so by this point all the walls so worn as to also attain a slope which could be climbed without difficulty, and the bottom of the pit had risen by quite a few feet. Orochihama finally clambered out of the pitfall.

Orochihama continued heading towards Konohagakure, when she heard a roaring sound. she dodged, and a giant ball of toad oil soared past her, landing in the pitfall. Poking her head above the debris, Orochihama saw two toads in the middle of a sparring match. Suddenly, one of the toads (the one facing Orochihama) launched a giant fireball, in Orochihama's general direction, causing Orochihama to flee. After much wandering around, Orochihama finally got to the village gates of Konohagakure. However, the genin who Orochihama had been sparring with was there, practicing taijutsu attacks. Orochihama offered to continue the match from in the forest, which was immediately accepted by the taijutsu using genin.

The other people near the village gates heard this exchange of words and wisely decided to get out of the way. Orochihama was distracted, watching the just mentioned villagers scramble out of the way and was hit by the other genin's punch. Orochihama flew through the air and landed on a rug someone had dropped in their haste to get out of what had suddenly become a dangerous zone. she rolled, and saw a blur heading straight for her. Reflex and instinct kicked in and she shot her foot forward. The genin (the other genin, not Orochihama) halted, in the middle of launching an attack, with Orochihama’s foot firmly planted on, but better described as pushing into the other genin’s abdomen. The breath whooshed out of the other genin as the other genin flew through the air, before managing to gain her feet and receive a second kick, this time delivered from the flying position, causing the other genin to stumble back before landing in an empty cart. Orochihama waved goodbye as the cart, having received the momentum transferred to it by a very dazed former combatant, rolled away into Konohagakure.

Orochihama began bowing to the terrified audience, who had been frozen in astonishment during the brief struggle, and was suddenly hit in the back. Lying on the ground, Orochihama craned her head and looked up behind her (he was lying on her front, she would have known that she would only see the ground if she was on her back and wouldn’t need to look to see who had put one foot on her) and saw the genin she had kicked and caused to fall into a cart standing with one foot on Orochihama’s back, the genin having snuck around after riding into Konohagakure, while Orochihama was being applauded prematurely. “The other genin began bowing to the crowd, giving time for Orochihama to get her body ready to trip the other genin.

Orochihama suddenly wrapped her legs around the other genin’s legs, and forced the other genin to bend her knees, forcing her to the ground. Orochihama then sat on top of the other genin, pinning her to the ground, and twisting her (the other genin’s) arm behind its owners back. The other genin backhanded Orochihama in the face, causing Orochihama to tumble off of her perch (and say “Gweh!”). As she fell, Orochihama managed to punch the other genin in the back, before hitting the ground herself. The audience looked down in amazement at the two combatants collapsed on the ground. Slowly, the two genin got to their feet, and, stumbling towards each other, launched an all out attack. At first the other genin began to throw a punch, but, declaring that she was supposed to be the protagonist and that the other genin should never be the focus of the story (and then getting confused because she did not know what she was referring to), Orochihama there a faster punch, hitting the other genin in the chest. Equally confused by this whole “Protagonist” business, the other genin yelled that she should be the “Protagonist” since she was not so incompetent as to throw a punch at the worst possible part of the body of the opponent. The other genin then attempted to throw a punch but Orochihama had not been sitting on her hands, waiting idly, while the other genin had been making her argument. Orochihama’s punch connected and the other genin’s head snapped back. The other genin had a few tricks up her sleeve (or possibly down her pants, since she was wearing a tee-shirt, and only had pants to hide stuff in), and swung her legs up as she fell, performing a double whammy on Orochihama. The genin collapsed on the ground, and rubbed her chin, as Orochihama stumbled backwards, eventually collapsing on the ground, before rolling around, clutching at her privates and groaning extra loudly so the audience could hear the extreme pain she was in (roughly half of the audience looked like they understood the pain Orochihama was in, the notably absent group included all the female members of the audience, as well as some notable martial arts masters who had either learned a certain variation of the “Earth Spear” jutsu, or had trained enough to not feel pain there [they got kicked there so many times the pain lost its meaning]).

Orochihama continued to roll around, as the other genin slowly got to her feet. Orochihama recovered enough to formulate a plan as the other genin began charging a prone Orochihama (mostly prone, she still had her hands over her privates). This turned out to be a mistake. Intent on performing her attack, the other genin realized too late that Orochihama had recovered, as Orochihama’s foot suddenly planted itself firmly in the fork of the other genin’s legs. The other genin’s eyes bugged out, and she sat down backwards on the ground, hard. Orochihama then called the other genin a “retard” and was rewarded by getting kicked in the chin as the other genin convulsed because of the pain from Orochihama’s earlier kick. Orochihama stumbled backwards, and then the two gnin were suddenly back to where they had been earlier, lying on the ground, motionless.

This time both of the genin got up at the same time, and launched themselves at their respective opponents. Neither of the genin launched their punches in time, and there was a sickening CRACK as they collided, headfirst. Again, the audience looked on in amazement and a bit of astonishment at the two genin collapsed on the ground. Both of the genin got up again at the same time, once again launching themselves at the other. This time they had the sense to not dive into battle headfirst, so instead they collided chest first. Both seeking to push the other genin over, both Orochihama and the other genin grabbed hold of the other, and suddenly the fight had become a wrestling match. The audience formed a ring (mostly composed of male veiwers) around the two combatants, and began chanting “Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!”. Orochihama began pushing with her right leg, and twisting her body to the left, in an attempt to throw the other gennin off balance, unfortunately the other genin had had the same idea and was pushing in the opposite direction (but the same direction from each point of view). The two genin pushed with equal force, until they were getting tired, upon which they simultaneously retreated, having had the same idea at the same time. Then, both, thinking they could take the other by surprise, lunged forward again, fists outstretched, resulting in both getting spun around by the forces of the two punches, leaving the two genin on the ground again. The two genin got back up. They charged. There was a sickening thud as both tripped and their heads collided. Both collapsed on the ground again. The two genin got back up, covered in bruises. The two genin charged again, and a dust cloud was raised as Orochihama and the other genin slugged it out. The two genins battled back and forth, the dust cloud they raised obscured most of the battlefield from the audience (with the exception of a byakugan user, the sharingan user got dust in her eye and was rubbing her eyes instead). Flashes of bruises, feet, and fists were all that were ever revealed to the impatient audience as the dust cloud raged on as a result of the two genin's fight. Curses, challenges renewed anew, and shouts that the other combatant was about to "get it" resounded through the area. Eventually, the two combatants got exhausted again, and the two of them slowed down, allowing the dust to settle, and let the two genin discover that they had hit themselves and a bag of straw on the ground, around as often as the opponent. The two genin decided to call it a day, and decided to fight again later. Orochihama went to the doctor for a brief time, getting patched up, and then collapsed back at her home.

[WC: 9624]

Tip: don't start every sentence with your name xD

Approved