To Pick Ourselves Up ~P, NK~

The boy would continue his steady pace, his ear perking slightly to catch what the tyrant was saying as he followed close behind. Shortly, the two would exit into the outdoors. During Altar's brief tangle with the hospital bed and unconsciousness, it had began raining ever so slightly. Of course, Altar was used to this, so the boy would continue on like there was no change in the weather.

"Living, breathing weapons perhaps. We are capable of rational thought, Xyxer. Our hearts may belong to Kirigakure, but our minds are our own. Free will is something that should never be stripped away..." the boy would say, halting in his stride and looking towards the sky.

"At least not completely. You are right, I strive to serve Kirigakure, but that hardly means there are other things I don't strive for. I'm a soldier, not a slave. And...tell me, Xyxer, what did you experience, exactly? When did you experience this? I understand we're...similar..." the boy would say, shuddering ever so slightly.

"But why do you expect so much of me, Xyxer? You've said before that i'm a lost cause, better thrown to the dogs than to put effort into. And yet, you've continued to support me and...train me, for lack of a better word at the moment. You sure as hell didn't do it out of the kindness in your heart."

As Xyxer left the building he felt the refreshing hydration of the mist that coated the village, with the trickling drink of the rain that pattered along his skin. It was certainly a good day for Xyxer. Listening to what Altar had to say, he'd shrug his shoulders a little. Perhaps it could be said that Xyxer had lacked free will throughout the earlier years of his life, and he simply followed the code that Kirigakure had set in stone for him. Kill, be a weapon, be the most useful asset to the village. He had carried out his duties within that dead village, and yet still the duties remained with him, even in the absence of the true village.. Then his question came.. when did Xyxer experience it? It had been so long since he had been in the position that Altar had been in, such a long time.. he'd been the weapon of many people, the sword that brutally decapitated anybody that opposed the leader. Yet here stood Altar, unyielding in that aspect. He did not want to be the loyal weapon that Xyxer was, and it did not make sense to him.

Deciding to respond to his question before he spoke the next part, Xyxer's words left with the same sardonic tone that they never normally did, yet carried more weight than usual, "I've experienced it my entire life, Altar. My upbringing in Kirigakure highlighted the true purpose of a shinobi. The less I cared for others, the more I was rewarded. Soon it became second nature to not care for the feelings or whims of others, they were only inhibitions and weaknesses. Within that split second in which people would be deciding whether an action was right or wrong, I would be carrying out the duty with a grin on my face. Yet, in reality, I don't care about the violence. It's a step towards a much greater thing." Xyxer paused at this point, running his hand through his wet, blue hair, "Suzaku, my first leader, lost his position and his village to criminals because he wasn't respected. Nobody cared for the name of Suzaku Shina, and his name is left out of most history books due to the humiliation that comes with it. My second Kage, Shinji Uzumaki, allowed criminals to enter our village, slaughter his shinobi, and leave without a word. Barely any interception." He refused to acknowledge that Shinji had attempted to fend off Shouten, for he did not care. Death had the ability to make a male grow wary of his allies, and it certainly had been a factor in pushing him over the edge, although he did not mention that part of the betrayal he felt, "Denkiteki was usurped by my brother and I, because nobody cared for him. Nobody opposed our take over in the slightest. My leaders lacked respect, they lacked any sort of fear factor. Look at me Altar, and what do you see? You see somebody who will punish you, you see a man of duress, a monster.. not because it is what I am, but because it's what the world understands. I've remained a leader for longer than those people in their respective villages, and with less hiccups than they've ever had. You know why? Because people fear your leader. Fear is what criminals understand, because they sow it. If I have to bash some kid's brains into paste, so be it. I'll gladly sacrifice someone so that the people who rely on me remain protected. Hate me if you will, but I will not be known as the leader who allowed his shinobi to be weak, the kage who allowed criminals to enter his village and assault his soldiers. The sooner you realize this world is bigger than just Kirigakure, you'll understand why I do what I do. Hard times breed strong men, and if that means I have to kill the family of every fucking shinobi in this village to prevent them from being subjugated to a criminals whims, so be it. We do not bend our knee to outside forces, and we will not relent our will to some outsider."


Xyxer clenched his hair momentarily as he spoke, dragging it back down towards his forehead to allow a faint quiff to form with a few flecks of hair hanging over his forehead. He revealed his answers to the boys next question at this point, "There are no failures in my village, Altar. The failures die out, that's how it is. The Blood Games is a brutal tradition, but it inhibits the weak from joining our ranks and and providing a weak point for our enemies to focus. The fact that you've lived until now in the village proves that you are not a lost cause, as you seem to believe yourself with how you've commented on it." He lifted his sword up further onto his shoulder, flexing his free hand by his side, "I am a far more merciful leader than you will ever comprehend, Altar. My brutality has prevented worse atrocities to you than you can even fathom. Criminals attack the most exposed village, and Kirigakure, for 'lack of a better term', is far from fucking exposed because of my actions. Say what you will, Altar, hate me if you like, but I'm the only reason you remain alive. My brother would have seen you die amongst the rubble of your beloved village, yet here you stand, daring to disobey the sole reason you live.. yet the 'tyrant' keeps you alive. It doesn't really make sense, does it."

The boy listened to the tyrant speak, slowly beginning to comprehend why he ruled as he did, why he took the actions he did. He couldn't day he agreed, but he was starting to see the man's side of things. He was right that criminals and missing ninja preyed on the weak, that villages that were soft were reduced to rubble. But did that truly put him in the right when he ruled with such a suffocating iron fist that innocent people were killed under his rule? That those who could very well grow up to be strong, died because they started weak?

"I understand. Fear is powerful. Hell, it alone can be used to dominate the world. Emotions hold more power over people than anyone is willing to admit. I get it, I know you want others to fear Kirigakure. I want others to fear Kirigakure. But Kirigakure fears you, and that presents a problem. If it was a few people, a few hushed whispers here and there, that'd be fine. But everyone goes stark when they see you." the boy would say, using his left hand to brush the hair from his face, holding the hand over his left eye as he spoke.

"I've seen everyone I love, everyone I hold dear, killed mercilessly. My parents were murdered in cold blood when I was just a child. Kozata, my kin, was killed in pursuit of greater power. When I came back with his body, I..." the boy would falter, his emotions getting the best of him. He didn't often feel emotional, but this was...it was just one of those things that almost demanded tears. "She was dead."

"From that moment on, I swore i'd do everything in my power to protect those I cared about." the boy would say, his hands closing into fists as he spoke. "And then I was thrown to the fucking wolves by the only person I trusted-or thought I could trust. All i've ever known is loss or betrayal. So i've made it my goal in life to ensure that the people of Kirigakure never have to fall to that. That they always have something to look forward to, something to wake up for and stay alive for." the boy would say, dropping his hand.

"I understand where you're coming from, Xyxer. But you can afford to be human to the people of Kirigakure. To us. Be a relentless, bloodlust driven monster to outsiders and enemies, but aiming that vicious face and intent inwards only causes disharmony and discontent. You've shown yourself capable of at least veiled acts of kindness. Is it truly that large of a step to strip the veil away?" the boy would say, genuine curiosity in his voice. He had never been a leader, so he couldn't say he understood, but he felt a need to and that pressed his questions further.

Of course, Xyxer had no intent to dominate the world, he enjoyed having his own little country, his own protected village that would keep him and his people safe from the horrors he had been forced to endure under another flag. Altar would be incapable of truly understanding the safety that Xyxer afforded him, and he fully understood that. However, he was not fully capable of abandoning the village to allow the criminals to raid it, for his heart still longed for the vilalge he had grew up in. He was, in essence, incapable of letting go. 

Chuckling faintly as they stood outside in the pouring rain, Xyxer spoke once more, "You won't endure the same loss I've faced, Altar, and  you should be happy for that. You don't want to live a life akin to mine, if it can be considered a life at all. The truth is, Altar, I can't feel anymore. I don't feel this sorrow you do, this blind hatred.. I only understand actions. If I kill your father, I'll understand you'll be fearful for me, I'll understand you hate me. I'll do that, and it'll keep you alive. That sole loss will make you understand the deceptive world in it's brutal splendor. I was taught that by my leaders, under the veil of lies." Xyxer paused for a moment to take in his words, breathing for a few seconds, "I hide under no such veil. The actions I commit, I take full responsibility for. I don't expect my people to understand the reasoning, for they don't have the capacity to. You, they.. haven't experienced the world like I have. I know the world, how it operates, what keeps us safe.. if it means my own people have to fear me, so be it. It keeps the village productive, it keeps us safe and secure." Xyxer paused once more, shifting the weight of the bulbous blade on his shoulder before he spoke once more, as if it would make Altar understand, although it was unlikely, "Nothing I do, makes me uncomfortable, Altar. It's all what's needed to keep us safe, to keep us prepared.. to keep people like you secure."

Xyxer dwelled on the words of what Altar had said, dismissing them with a faint shake of his head and a faint smile, "People don't understand a human as much as they do a monster, Altar. That's just the way the world is. You didn't truly understand me until your life was on the life, nor do you still TRULY understand me.. I don't expect you to be able to. " Xyxer started to take a few steps forward, the rain that dripped from the sky progressively drenching the pair, "Atlas is gone, Altar. Xyxer's all that's left, and there's no human in me. Monsters are very real, and we're made. I'll never forget the betrayal of my leader, and you'll never experience that. I make no fret of safety from me. There's no allusion to safety from me." Xyxer paused for a moment, recalling the moment he had shared with Altar where he had tried to make the boy hurt his girlfriend. In his head, it had made sense. Sameonna had been killed while he watched on.. yet Youta had not been harmed in his presence. How could this boy understand the suffering? The pain that was endured nightly by the male? Over time, it had lessened.. but that was because life had meant less to Xyxer. If he died, so be it. He had little to lose at this point, and perhaps when he was lost, people would start to truly understand their loss.

"People do not understand a human, Altar. They're laughed at, and ignored. Tread over and abused. We both know it, Altar, I'll never be capable of being the leader you desire, but I am the leader you need. I wear no veil in your presence.. for this is who I truly am now." Xyxer's shoulders lifted for a second before they dropped back down into a shrug, "This is what keeps you alive, and if this means one of my shinobi kill me for it, so be it. Hard villages breed strong men, and I readily accept the fate I have chosen. I don't profess to understand divinity, nor do I want to. All that I care for is the safety of my people, and I will kill any-fucking-one I need to adhere to that rule. I won't be a weak ruler, even if I become a betrayed one." Xyxer confessed to his ANBU Captain, not believing he will remember the encounter too well given his medical attention.

Altar thought as Xyxer spoke. He was doing his best to commit his replies to memory, but everything was still...hazy.

It seemed Xyxer had some bad blood with a few old leaders, people that were too lax in their reign to truly get things done or protect their people. He had a fear...no, fear was the wrong word. He had a hatred of weakness. Considering weakness to be grounds for death was a surefire sign of that.

"In a way, that's pretty damn honorable, Xyxer. You'd rather die at the hands of your own shinobi in knowledge they're strong enough to fend for themselves, than be kind to them, live, and risk their well being." the boy would say, his hand moving to cover his mouth in thought for a few seconds, before moving back down.

"I'm well aware the world is cruel. Life, in general, is cruel. It takes what it wants without thought, care or remorse. It's easy to live day by day as a hollow shell of a human, wishing only for the pain to be whisked away, by death or what-have-you. It's easy to give in and find joy in anything that can be left, even things other people find repulsive, things that make you a monster. But it's not easy to maintain some shred of optimism that you will find something in life that makes it worth living itself." the boy would say, pushing his hands into his pockets as he turned to walk once more, leaving it to the monster if he wanted to follow or stay.

"I've never been a leader, Xyxer, so I can't say I understand. I can't say i'll ever understand. But...this helps. At least now I know your reasons for cruelty. So...thank you, for keeping me safe." The knowledge that the man had saved his life was defeating to Altar, finally willing to acknowledge that Xyxer did not do everything out of self satisfaction or insanity.

And with that knowledge now shut in the back of his mind, the boy would walk away

~Exit unless interrupted~
~TWC - 4,743~
~Claiming 3,746 towards Meigan: Shikatsu , at 4,500/4,500~
~Claiming 997 words towards Spirit Gun , at 997/2000~
~Claiming 47 AP~

Altar had started to walk away while speaking over his shoulder to Xyxer, and it was rather interesting. Perhaps they were finally starting to see eye to eye, and Altar had even thanked the male for his words. As he walked off, he'd speak out to Altar who was walking the opposite direction, "We're the wolves in a world of sheep, Altar. Remember that."

[Given how Altar is in no shape to defend himself due to being unconscious, going to assume that Samehada is capable of draining his entire pool.
So, of course, 930 AP absorbed into Samehada
900/100 = 9 x 5 = 45 AP Cap increase for Samehada
250/250 AP for Samehada now
As per the rules, 50/10 (Since there's a spare 5 AP on Samehada that couldn't be used for this) = 5 x 5 = 25 AP added to wielders cap

8194 WC

8000/8000 SSS+

3000 of that was from http://naruto-role-play-rpg.forumotion.com/t34599p20-the-poor-people-are-burning-pnk

Using the 3000 left of that 8000 to get http://naruto-role-play-rpg.forumotion.com/t22415-v6-earth-release-earth-spear

3000/3000

C+P'd the Samehada drain from earlier in the topic]

Approved.