Broke Jokes

Sun Feb 26, 2023 5:09 am

Mission Info:

Saturn Sentobi was seated in front of the slot machine. He reached for its lever with his right hand before he remembered that he did not have one. "Aw man." He sulked, reaching over his body with his left hand to pull it down. He felt sympathy for the plight of left handed shinobi that dwelled in the realm - everything seemed to be designed to be used by the right handed. He groaned at the result of his spin. One image on the right showed a splashing carp flailing in a shallow pond and one on the left showed a sleigh with Santa at the helm. The one in the middle depicted an axe with blood on its blade, chopping off a hand. YOU LOSE. The message read. He tsked and put another coin in and pulled the lever with more force. The images matched. Each one showed a six. It was an omen for the fortuneteller. His eyes widened as a mechanical arm stuck to the machine extended out and reached into his pocket to swipe his wallet then disappear into its locked interior before he could defend himself. YOU LOSE YOUR WALLET. The message read, and Saturn punched it with his strength of 25, not even denting the metal box.

A few of the Casino Workers took notice of his frustration and murmured behind him towards the doorway. He noticed them in his peripheral vision, and in his frustration he walked over to them both, grabbing one by his collar. "You got a problem, kuso yaro? I'm a paying customer, you know?"

WC: 264

Mon Feb 27, 2023 2:27 pm

Aftter all the madness that took place during Christmas and New Year, Jun was eager for some chilling and relaxing time. After being almost mind controlled by an evil Otsutsuki, the young Shibasaki clansman decided to take a much needed rest in order to recharge his batteries and regain his focus towards the upcoming Chuunin exams. And he was doing just that, just chilling back at Kumogakuyre… when the Kumon genin received an “exclusive” invitation (at least that is what was told) from St. Valentine’s himself for the brand new St. Valentine’s casino!

The “VIP” casino was located in a hidden pocket dimension that only people with an invitation could access and it promised to deliver “amazing prices” to the winners. At first, the blond shinobi wasn’t too excited, as he wasn’t a big fan of gambling or casinos in general. Also, Jun considered himself a very unlucky person, and he always hated how “uncontrollable” lucky was. The young shinobi always preferred situations where skills, determination, merit and focus would be all that matters.

But, the “Casino Callie” who handled him the invitation, a bunny-suited female game attendant was VERY convincing and Jun quickly accepted the invitation when he laid his eyes upon the girl. “I just hope I’m not being mind controlled again…”. She smiled at the Shibasaki clansman when he said yes and in a blink of an eye, she teleported both herself and the Genin right into the Casino lobby.

The place was absolutely huge, full of lights, gambling tables, roulettes, slot machines… as he observed the place, the Casino Callie handled him a glass of champagne and told Jun to enjoy the casino. Very amazed by the gigantic and luxurious place, Jun started wandering around it, and after a few sips, he was kind of eager to gamble a little bit…

During his tour, he saw the Chocolate Shop, the Bronze, Silver and Golden Roulettes, the White and the Black card tables… and many, many Callies. There were just so many options to begin with that Jun couldn’t decide where to place his first bet. He was passing by the slot machines area when he noticed that some casino workers were complaining and pointing finger at someone, and the ever curious Jun decided to investigate the cause of that small disturbance in such an uplifted environment.

For his surprise, the person behind the disturbance, and who was holding one of the workers by his collar in a threatening way was no other than… Saturn! Yes, his longtime mission partner and friend, who recently lost an arm but survived anyways the Warmonger arena, killing to missin nin the process.

- Hello there, old friend! – shouted Jun towards Saturn while waving his arm, in hope to defuse the situation.

WC: 460

Wed Mar 01, 2023 11:57 am

Benimaru had arrived at the mysterious casino for the first time. He was not quite sure where to go after accepting the invitation from a woman in a very appealing outfit. He found himself in the casino lobby in the blink of an eye. This had to be some sort of jutsu.

His eyes fell on a blond boy that looked slightly older than he was. He wasn’t sure how to proceed and kind of awkwardly followed him. He was intrigued by the many attractions that they passed. Benimaru could tell that the other boy was getting excited to try his hand at the luck games as well.

He could see the attention of the boy ahead of him shift and his interest was piqued. He was about to move over to a machine when the commotion grabbed his attention as well. It appeared they were friends. Great! He could possibly make new friends! That would be great!

Jogging up he saw the blond boy say hello and calling the other man a friend. He wondered if they were Kumogakure shinobi. He felt as if though he should be able to tell. “Hi, do you need a hand here?”
He was speaking to both of them. Before his eyes widened as he noticed that might be insensitive towards a man with only one arm. How would a man with one arm even survive. Benimaru couldn’t imagine living without his arms. It surprised him how regular shinobi soldiered on knowing they would never defeat him in rock, paper, scissors. Even if they used both arms.

Two of his hands covered his mouth as he spoke under his breath “I should not have said that! I apologize!” His other hands were nervously fidgeting with his fingers had he been going faster it could have looked like he was doing hand seals.

WC: 309

Wed Mar 01, 2023 11:57 am

The member 'Benimaru Kumonosu' has done the following action : Roll Dice/Flip Coin

'20 sided dice' : 2

Thu Mar 02, 2023 1:58 am

Kota was feeling extra fancy in his work attire. He was wearing a nice black suite that accentuated his features. Unlike the other security guards working the casino with their rugged looks. Kota had a softer appeal that boosted the power of his smile. It was really helpful when it came to working and wooing the ladies for the job. It was a shame the only straight thing the archer could do was shoot. If he got any gayer he would start using wind arts from his butthole, a good thing ninja arts was not his strong suit.

It had been a few days since Kota found his way to the casino. He signed up for work because he wanted to scope the place out and at least learn the rules, before he started investing into his small gambling habit. Kota was specific in working here since the workers were allowed to gamble off the clock as well. It would be like getting paid to have fun, two concepts Kota understood well. That was why he was dressed in an outfit they provided. His own armor was underneath, his bow was inside his quiver, that was inside the armory seal on his hand.

A small commotion caught his attention. Three dudes from clouds seemed to have been causing a disturbance. Kota was not undercover but since he was off duty he was not wearing his headband, or other markers himself. The ninja from the clouds were not really hiding anything, Kota doubted they even knew how to suppress their chakra. One of which was cool and had multiple arms. It was a sight he had never seen before. Still since he was on the clock he had to diffuse the situations, especially when it came to ninja versus normal people. He power walked over and made it quickly, he weaved through the crowd without touching anyone.

“Now now. I am sure there is a good explanation for this. We should not have people from the hidden villages attacking civilians. It would really paint them in a bad light.” Kota spoke with a wide smile across his face. He would try to deescalate the situation and work with the cloud people. Sands had a decent relationship with them as far as he was aware.

His current look:

Using Chakra Suprression

Thu Mar 02, 2023 8:44 am

Saturn had not bothered to release the guard's collar from his hand when he noticed Jun. "Yo. Laser eyes. Good timing." He slurred, clenching his fist even harder. He was glad to see his friend, but his agitation had not yet subsided. "Shoot his balls off, I'll pay ya!" Before the situation could escalate the group was interrupted by a boy with six arms, asking Saturn if he needed a hand. It was awkward silence at first, Saturn looking at the boy's limbs in disbelief, choking on his words before releasing the guard to point at one of Benimaru's arms. "I- ugh well if you've got one to spare.... Nice to meet'cha!" Saturn would go to grab one of the boy's arms but stop his motion when Kota arrived. He recognized the dashing man as one he had encountered on a beach a long time ago.

"Oh, it's Ko-ttuh." He remarked, botching the shinobi's name. He listened to the words of warning spoken to him. The calm smile on the archer's face irritated Saturn slightly, he almost seemed naive and innocent although he also had the vibe of a grown man. Perhaps it was an act that he had to peer through. "Tell me, Sand shinobi, do you believe that shinobi from hidden villages are usually painted in a good, great, ambient light?" He retorted as the guards he had been bothering scratched their heads behind him. Before he could ramble on to try and dig the archer's psyche he would be interrupted by a shout for help.

"Thief! He's taking the chips!" The blackjack dealer screamed as a thieving bandit wove through the crowd.

"Good. The house always wins anyway. This is a sham. I'm out. Good luck, village shinobi." Saturn ignored the cries for help and stepped outside, leaving the three shinobi to decide whether or not to take action inside. When he reached into his pocket to grab his flask and a smoke, both his bottle and his box were empty.

WC: 334

TWC: 598

Fri Mar 03, 2023 8:25 am

Jun was just trying to defuse the scene cause by Saturn, but the fortuneteller was extra grumpy and irritated... perhaps because he just recently lost an arm by the hands of the Raikage himself... who knows. He immediately told Jun to laser eye the casino worker’s balls upon acknowledging Jun’s presence, something that Jun never considered doing as he was on chill mode, just trying to stay out of trouble and crazy situations for a while.

- Nah, his balls aren’t worth of the Sun Release… - joked the Shibasaki Clansman, still trying to calm things down.

Suddenly, they were interrupted by a six-armed boy, who based on his ninja headband, was also from Kumo. He was very tall and muscular, but he also seemed to be quite young. Jun definitely never saw the boy before, as he would remember crossing paths with a person with such unique traits. The many arms shinobi cracked the ice by saying “Hi, do you need a hand here?”. Normally this would be just a polite way to offer help, but given Saturn current situation the comment was just… hilarious. Probably the boy didn’t say it on purpose, but it most likely bothered the grumpy fortuneteller, who grabbed one of the boy’s arms. Before the situation could escalate, a fourth Shinobi, this time a Sand one, swiftly appeared in the middle of the three cloud ninjas.

The Shinobi was elegantly dressed, very different from Jun, who wore his usual outfit: a baggy black sweatshirt with the Shibasaki clan symbol (The Shibasaki Sun) printed in the back area, cargo pants and comfortable sneakers. The Suna shinobi was also trying to defuse the situation, with the argument that ninjas shouldn’t be attacking civilians like that, as this would really paint them in a bad light. Saturn seemed to be acquainted with this shinobi, as he called him by his name, in a mocking tone: “Kuttuh”. But before both men could argue, everyone could hear a shout for help coming from afar: “Thief! He's taking the chips!" The blackjack dealer screamed as loud as he could, as the thief was running through the gamblers.

Saturn quickly said that he was not doing anything and waved farewell to the group of shinobi, as he just ignored the cried for help and went outside. Jun considered for a moment taking action and chasing the thief, but he quickly remembered that the last time he went on to pursue a thief, he ended up facing an army of ultra-jacked mutants, and all he wanted to do on his time in the casino was to chill and gamble.

- Yeah, I’m out as well… nice to meet y’all, my name is Jun Shibasaki, and you can find me in the poker area if you need anything…

But before Jun could finish his sentence, all the lights in the casino went out, leaving the place in absolute darkness and a scream of horror echoed shrilly, coming from the opposite direction from where the thief was running. What the hell just happened? While still standing in the dark, Jun just facepalmed himself really hard, as he knew that some weird stuff was about to go down…once again. “Oh shit… here we go again…”

WC: 540
TWC: 1000

Mon Mar 06, 2023 9:21 am

Benimaru was left hanging when he had moved to grab his hand but stopped as a man he referred to as Ko-ttuh. Must have been a foreign name. These shinobi. If they were shinobi appeared to be Kumogakure shinobi. He had recently graduated and expected that he would likely have ran into them somewhere else if it had not happened here. Listening in on the conversation happening he smiled. He had understood correctly. This was a shinobi from Sunagakure.

Then shouting, as someone called for help in stopping a thief. It didn’t seem the other Kumogakure Shinobi were interested in assisting. He was a bit surprised but perhaps they were calling for the casino security. Benimaru stood still waiting for someone to handle it. He did not want to overstep his boundaries. He should likely apologize to the one-armed shinobi. He was sure it must be quite embarrassing to have only one arm. Turning to follow both Jun and Saturn as the light turned off and a shout could be heard from the other end of the casino. “Hi, laser eyes was it? Something seems to be going on. You mentioned Sun something? Care to turn on some lights?”

Benimaru wish he could have done more. But truth be told he didn’t know all that many jutsu. He was fidgeting with his hands the tall boy would grab two kunai with two of his hands an raised his other pairs of arms both defensively and ready to strike should an opponent appear in front of him. He would unsuccessfully attempt to feel if someone was out there in the dark.

He heard the whistling of something flying through the air and dashed to the side as a loud TSCHK! Struck the ground where he had been standing just moments before. He couldn’t tell what had struck the ground or where the attackers were coming from. Where they attacking other people as well? “Laser eyes? Light please?”

WC:326
TWC: 635

Tue Mar 14, 2023 12:32 am

Saturn tsked and held his face in his palm as he heard the loud, bloodcurdling scream from the back of the pitch dark casino. He sighed, something crazy always happened wherever he went, especially when he and Jun found themselves within fifty feet of each other it would seem. His only motivation to assist was the hopes of getting paid in kind by the staff for his work as a good samaritan. The house had swiped his wallet after all, and in his mind he was owed reparations. He searched for a muse with which to reenter the premises. Going into a dark room and swinging wildly with his one good arm was not only boring, but it was also more likely to hurt more innocent customers than culprits behind what the fortuneteller quickly deduced to be a heist. While Jun had his heat vision to work with, Saturn's chakra sensory could not paint the situation inside the casino quite as lucidly. He had to think differently. A black cat scurried across his path. His eyes widened. It was a sign from God.

Viewed from the bright blue eyes of the feline, the world was blurry at first. Only shades of blue and green were visible, and they were not very visible past a small distance. However, these eyes were much more sensitive to light. When the furry quadrupedal crawled into the pitch black casino its eyes widened, and shimmered. Saturn could see the situation inside the premises vividly. The group of bandits was split into pairs of two. He spotted two pairs behind neighbouring slot machines. The backs of the boxes were cut open, and they were busy looting all the accumulated coins from the box into two large sacks. Acting quickly, blackcat leaped from one machine to the other with a kunai in its jaws.

From atop the machine on the right, the cat remained undetected, its silent grace far too subtle to be picked up by the hasty bandits. It could see the culprits clearly, however, and used Mind Body Transmission to speak to them telepathically, communicating to all of them simultaneously through distant mental whispers.

Parking ticket..

Your laces are untied..

Your flyer's open..

You're out of toilet paper..

You left the stove on..

Did you fill up the gas tank?

Your cat has died from starvation.

Oh no..

I don't have a cat...

Wait, who's talking?!

Just as the first bandit began to panic, the cat leaped from atop the box to the man's head with precision, and sliced into his right eye making him bleed. As he screamed and ducked, the animal was in position to leap up and take a swipe at the second bandit who leaned over to check on his buddy. A vertical double slash severed both ears of the thief, causing him to fall over and writhe upon losing their sense of balance.

"What's happening?!" The second pair drew out their weapons to fight, but they could not yet see the enemy. Blackcat dropped quietly to the floor and leaped forward, slashing the backs of the ankles of the next thief in line, making him hop and then scream before tumbling to the floor. Wasting no time, the feline bounced off of the second slot machine, and its eyes met with those of the last thief in line just before it severed the man's tongue and cut open a wide gaping slit across his face.

It would land on the chest of the man with hindered feet while his partners wiggled and screamed beside him. Upon placing its paw on the man's chest, the fortuneteller would read his memories, and learn of their deeper plot and all their accomplices, including information about their ring leader, a devious missing nin with a knack for seduction. He would be quick to communicate the troupe's intentions to Jun. He was wary about sharing the true nature of his abilities, it was in part due to his insecurities and in part due to him evolving a cautious nature. The sun mage however had experienced his ability before and Saturn trusted him.

Outside the venue, the fortuneteller's body remained perfectly still, his eyes rolled up into the back of his skull as he piloted the cat inside the casino - his face twitching and squinting to make it do what he needed to be done.

WC: 729

TWC: 1327

Thu Mar 16, 2023 1:37 pm

Jun was still in disbelief that his chilling time on the Casino was ruined by bandits. It seemed that whenever he and Saturn were together at the same environment, some crazy, unexpected shit happened. “I’m not getting myself involved… I’m not getting myself involved… I’m not getting myself involved…” Repeated Jun over and over in his thoughts… but the scream was just too loud and dreadful and maybe someone innocent was actually in danger.
To top that, the many armed boys that he just met, Benimaru, almost got hit by some kind of projectile, being able to evade it just in the nick of time, right before calling Jun “laser eyes” and asking the Shibasaki clansman to provide some light for the pitch black environment.

- Here we go again…

Jun removed the hand that he used to himself from his face and activated his inherited Doujutsu, the Tengan. As he did not wanted to draw to much attention to himself, he only activated the Stage 1 of it, which provided a steady but not so bright light around he and Benimaru. With his signature heat vision, Jun was able to see everything through the sheer darkness, and he located the position of the bandits, who were working in pairs and were robbing different sections of the Casino.

But before Jun could take any action against the robbers, one by one, the pairs of thugs started to get their assess kicked by what appeared to be a… cat? Well, the creature’s heat signature at least was shaped like a small cat, and the feline was absolutely destroying the bandits. In a matter of moments, they were all in the ground, and the cat approached the Genin duo who were standing in the now illuminated area.

“The only explanation for a cat to have such ninja skills is… Saturn, you crazy bastard…”. Jun’s prediction was actually right, as the approaching cat started speaking with his friend’s voice, a skill that Jun was well aware of but that could potentially scare Benimaru. The fortuneteller, using the cat’s body, quickly briefed the genin duo of troupe’s plot and their leader, a devious missing nin with a knack for seduction. All of what happened so far, the robberies, the blackout, the projectile launched at them… everything was a distraction. The mischievous missin-nin and psycho killer true goal was to actually kidnap the most beautiful woman in the Casino: Mito Akimane

Who the hell was Mito Akimane? Just the most popular Japanese pop star in the moment, who is said to be as beautiful as the goddess Aphrodite herself. And she was going to perform later, on the Casino’s main stage as an exclusive attraction for the Casino’s VIP guests. “So he’s just taking everyone’s eyes out of the big prize…”. But before Jun could finish his thoughts… BOOOOOOOOOOM!

A huge explosion that lighted the whole blacked out environment for a while ensued, around the blackjack area. In the direction where the explosion occurred, it was possible to see flames of fire rising from the blackjack tables. “FIRE, FIREEEE, RUUUN” someone screamed, and that was all it was needed to create absolute chaos.

The people inside the Casino started to desperately run towards the exits, creating a real mess with lots of pushing and bumping coming from all the directions as not only people were in a frenzy but also because the environment was still pretty dark. Jun knew that this was most likely another distraction by the bandit’s leader in order to get to Mito Akimane, but the distraction this time couldn’t be ignored, as the flames were growing larger every second and the whole casino could be turned into ashes.

- Benimaru and Saturn, listen to me… go find Ms. Mito Akimane, wherever she is… I believe she’s in real danger as the missing-nin could already have kidnapped he. I’ll take care of this fire and I’ll meet you guys right after

The young Shibasaki clansman rushed towards the flames right after finishing his sentence. Even though he was versed only on “destructive” elements such as Sun, Fire and Lightning Release, Jun had a plan to deal with the fire started by the bandits. If Jun’s ninjutsu wouldn’t be of any help, perhaps his second soecialty, Space-Time, would be useful.
Jun approached the fire’s location and when he was at a adequate distance, he did some handseals: “Ram - Rat - Tiger - Snake – Bird”.

- Imitation Black Hole!

The young kumon genin casted right above the flames a hole in space and time, creating a much more scaled down version of a true blackhole. Due to the sheer mass and gravity in the area, the flames began to slowly be drawn into the Small Black Hole as it couldn’t resist the gravitational pulling effect of the technique. Jun was carefully watching this process, as he didn’t want any civilians to be sucked into the black hole by accident. “I just hope they can deal with the missing-nin…”

WC: 835
TWC: 1835

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