Idiotic Mayhem [IO, Jay]

Jay had gotten up rather early this morning. He had quite a few ideas for upgrading his second favorite puppet, Sister, and he couldn't wait to get to work on it. He had spent half the night in his puppet room writing up designs on new mechanisms he could use in battle and on missions. Jay specialized in tracking and intelligence. His insects gave him an edge when tracking and spying, but his puppets were meant to be good at infiltrating base camps. His puppet, Brother, was uniquely fitted for that role. Jay had managed to create ways to imitate chakra signatures and even see and hear through his puppets.

His ideas varied slightly when it came to his puppet, Sister. He had plans to install the same mechanism that let him see and hear through it, but that was the only ability he planned on making similar. He wanted this puppet to be able to capture an opponent alive. Not only did he want to be able to capture his targets alive to get information out of them, but it would be useful to use one of his many poisons on targets that were either too dangerous or have a kill order on them. That was why he wanted to make it so that Sister could be used to easily poison specific targets.

He had been up since 5am this morning sitting in his workshop at the table in the middle of the room. The puppet he was working on was strewn across the table in front of him. Her hair draped over the edge of the table to Jay's left. Her mouth was hanging open with the lower jaw only attached on one side by thin cables. There was a small nozzle visible within the puppet's mouth, the end of the mechanism that would be used to spew forth poison gas. Jay had already managed to finish the sensory relay mechanism. He was halfway through the poison gas mechanism when he decided he needed a break. Working on his puppets was something he really loved, but he needed some fresh air.

Getting up from his seat, he would stretch his arms above his head and walk out the door, making his way into the kitchen. Pulling open his fridge he saw that there was absolutely nothing in there for him to eat. He closed the fridge and sighed. Then he made his way out the door, strapping Brother to his back before he left. You could never be too prepared.

Jay stopped by one, two, three ramen shops looking for something to eat. Unfortunately they all seemed to be out of eggs, and what kind of ramen bowl was complete without eggs? He was making his way to his fourth ramen shop when he saw some kid sitting on a bench talking to himself. Already having that happy smile on his face, he walked over to the boy and stopped in front of him. "Oi! Know anywhere I can get some good food? Everywhere I go seems to be out of eggs and I'm kind of craving an omelet."

Chi immediately sat up upon hearing the strangers voice. Upon inspection he noticed that the person speaking to him was a ninja of the village. From the strangers statement he knew he was just another victim of the odd thieving of eggs he only gave the stranger a sly smile. "So you noticed it too? Yeah there aren't any eggs anywhere in the village. Everything egg related just disappeared overnight almost like they never existed.....strange indeed."

Hopping up to his feet he thought for a minute on what to do. "I've decided to investigate this...hm. Your going to help too because Im a chef and I will cook you an omelette or several in exchange for help!" his mind was now set on it on what he wanted to do and this stranger was going to help him whether he wanted to or not. "Hey I never got your name, I'm Ich-HEY THAT'S ONE THE GUYS!!!!"

Chi pointed towards the man who he faintly remembers from earlier this morning. "LET'S BEAT THE INFORMATION OUT OF HIM!!!!" Wasting no time he ran after the know running bandit which would turn into one hell of a lot mayhem....

Jay listened as the boy on the bench in front of him said something about everything egg related in the village just disappearing. What? Who the hell wanted to steal egg related things? That was going to make it hard for Jay to find a decent breakfast around town. Though, it was more or less lunch time now but that wasn't really the point. Next thing Jay knew, the kid suddenly hopped to his feet in an excited fashion. Of course, there had really been a few moments in between the kid's talking about egg stuff going missing and him jumping to his feet.

Apparently, this kid decided he was going to investigate the case of the missing eggs. Well good for him. Somebody should probably do something abou-........WAIT A MINUTE. Did he just say Jay was helping him with this? Well there was no way that was going to happen. Er. Did he say he was a chef? Free food for helping to solve the egg bandit case? COUNT ME IN! Jay was about to say just that when the kid started asking for his name. Of course, he wouldn't make it all the way through the sentence before he came on with another outburst, this one catching Jay by surprise actually.

He said something about seeing one of the guys and beating information out of him. Jay's face was in utter confusion. Who were they beating up? All he wanted was some food :( Jay didn't even get a chance to protest before the kid darted after the guy. Jay just stared after him for a moment, wondering why that egg bandit had chicken feathers plastered all over his back. Well, if it meant free food, what the heck. He made up his mind just in time to see the bandit round a corner about a block down. Jay took off as fast as he could trying to chase down the egg thief. He caught up with the kid in time to round the corner just after the bandit.

BOOM! A resounding crash happened as Jay ran smack dab into a melon cart that an old man had set up on the side of the street that Jay had just turned onto. Turning away from the now broken cart, he took off after the bandit again yelling "Soooorrrryyyy!!!"

After destroying that poor old man's melon cart, Jay found himself behind that chef kid again as the duo chased after the egg bandit. Of course, living up to his new nickname, egg bandit started throwing eggs at them! Luckily Jay was directly behind that chef kid so the eggs probably wouldn't hit him, right? Wrong. The kid had ducked just in time to dodge the eggs which immediately slammed into Jay's forehead, covering his face with yolk and egg whites. The egg in his eyes made Jay stop in his tracks, which was probably a good thing since when he finished wiping his face with the back of his hand he saw to men carrying a large pane of glass in front of him. That could have been bad. Where did that kid go anyway? He could see egg bandit up ahead. Jay shrugged and ran around the glass guys and kept chasing after egg bandit. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the chef kid come running out of a store carrying a baseball bat. What? Oh well. He vaguely heard the kid yell something about chasing egg guy while he went another way to corner him. This should be fun.

Before he could respond to chef kid he was gone again, headed down some side street. Jay picked up his pace a bit and started to close the distance between him and egg guy. He saw egg guy round a corner down a small side street and followed, close behind. Jay could see that chef kid standing at the other end of the street facing him and egg guy, holding that baseball bat he had somehow acquired. The kid raised the bat and let it fly straight toward egg guy. Unfortunately things weren't going to go as smoothly as it seemed. Just as the bat was released, those glass guys from earlier came walking past, blocking egg guy from harms way. SMASH! Welp, first a melon cart and now the glass. Jay had a feeling that wouldn't be the last of the broken things in the village before the day was up. He saw egg guy turn right into an alley. Jay and chef kid followed quickly. As soon as they turned the corner they realized it was a dead end. FINALLY. They had egg guy cornered. Now maybe Jay will finally get that omelet when they finished here.

Jay was about to do his thing when chef kid stepped up, cracking his knuckles. Jay watched as one side of the kid began to turn grey and when he removed his glove the Aburame could make out claws on the end of the kid's hand. That was new. Who the hell was this kid? Actually, it didn't really matter as long as he kept his promise about that free food. Jay just watched in astonishment as the kid grabbed egg guy giving him a mighty slap and demanding to know where the eggs were. That egg guy was strong willed though. He wouldn't tell the kid a thing even after being thrown around like a rag doll, having his face clean shaven and being made to look like a clown. Where the hell did chef kid get that make up anyway? "Uhh maybe you will have better luck?" the chef kid said to Jay. Nice! It was his turn.

Stepping between the half grey chef kid and egg guy, Jay cracked his knuckles and reached behind him with his right hand. "Heeeeeeeeyyyy princess. I like your make up. Let's make a deal." He pulled his right hand back out in front of him and would appear to be holding a large chicken with rainbow feathers that sparkled like they were covered in glitter. Where had he gotten the chicken from? Well it wasn't where you think it was, ya nasty! Actually he had really just used the only genjutsu he knew to make it look like he was holding a chicken. "If you tell us where the eggs are, I'll give you this one of a kind rainbow chicken. Whaddya say, huh?" he said to egg guy, holding the fake chicken just out of reach. Egg guy's mouth opened wide and he began to drool at the sight of it. Huehuehue.

"A-alright! Give me the pretty chicken and I'll tell you!"

Without hesitation, Jay smacked the egg guy with his left hand. "Na ah. You tell us first and then you can have the chicken. Now spit it out." The look of uncertainty was apparent on egg guy's face. Jay could see the gears turning behind his eyes. There was a brief pause before egg guy finally spoke again. "....Fine. The eggs are in a glue factory near the center of the village. NOW GIMME PRETTY CHICKEN!" he said as he charged straight for the imaginary rainbow chicken. Jay sidestepped and watched as egg guy flew face first into a brick wall, knocking himself out. The rainbow chicken was gone now as he turned to face chef kid, who was still half grey. "Why the hell did he put the eggs in a glue factory?"

Man that chef kid sure could talk. Jay only hoped he could cook as well as he said he could because all this chasing and detective work was making him even hungrier than he was before. Chef kid started talking about going in guns blazing and saying they could've got more info out of egg guy if Jay hadn't knocked him out. To be fair, the guy kind of knocked himself out, but Jay wasn't really going to point that out. Semantics. Bleh. Chef kid glanced at egg guy for a moment before he started rambling again. Jay listened to the kid with a sort of bored amusement on his face. The kid was saying something about infiltrating, then only one of them infiltrating, then going through the vents and then FINALLY yelling something about dropping in from the roof and just beating answers out of everyone.

Chef kid took off through the village to where egg guy said the glue factory was, Jay close on his heels. They passed a melon factory on there way. Actually it was right next door. Why they would make a melon factory right next to a glue factory, but that wasn't important. They saw several guards around the outside of the building as they scoped it out. Chef kid decided to come up with a plan. They were supposed to take out the guards silently and then he would go through the front door causing a distraction while Jay broke in from the roof. He didn't even give Jay a chance to agree to the plan before he took off to do his part of the plan. If the kid was anything he sure was determined.

Jay didn't bother to watch the kid as he did what he said he was gonna do. Instead, Jay finally unstrapped his puppet from his back and used it to take out the remaining guards before heading to the roof. There were several large glass windows in the center of the roof looking down into the building below. He watched as his overexcited chef kid broke into the building shouting at the bandits for their boss. Jay was having fun watching the kid do his thing. He decided he was just going to sit back and watch for a bit and see what happened. Was that giant muscular guy wearing a chicken mask? Alrighty then. Jay saw the kid duck under a kunai and dash toward the group of 10 bandtis including the muscular guy, dodging all sorts of pointy weapons. "That doesn't look good."

Well it was probably time for Jay to help the kid out. He sent his puppet crashing through one of the windows as he jumped down after it. "Look out kid!" he shouted at the chef kid as glass rained down on the crowd of bandits below. Both of the puppets arms would open and launch several senbon dipped in poison at each of the bandits, leaving that muscular chicken guy for chef kid to deal with. Jay was laughing as he landed on the floor just behind the muscular chicken guy. The rest of the bandits fell to the floor as the paralysis began to kick in. "HEY KID I'M GONNA GO FIND THE BOSS, YOU TAKE CARE OF CHICKEN GUY!" he yelled over his shoulder at the kid. Then he frowned for a moment, thinking he should probably make sure the kid didn't die. The puppet came charging past the kid and chicken guy as fast as it could while 150 insects came out of the puppet to surround the chicken guy.

Jay left the kid with that and headed through another door opening up to a huge room lined with cartons upon cartons of eggs on the side walls. Along the back walls were dozens of cages of chickens piled all the way to the roof. Well that explained where all the eggs and chickens went. Standing in the very center of the room was a tall slender.....woman? It was kind of hard to tell with the get up she had on but he was pretty sure it was a woman. She was wearing a full chicken mask, her long sleeve shirt was covered in chicken feathers making it look like she had wings. Her shoes were in the shape of bright orange chicken feet. "Errr...you must be the boss....lady? I like your uhhh feathers. Soooo how bout you just hand over the chickens and eggs and I'll just be on my way..."

Jay had absolutely no idea what was going on outside of the room with chicken-boss-lady. All he knew was he could hear an enormously loud commotion coming from behind him. There was a lot of yelling and a sound of something crashing. What was that chef kid doing out there? Who knew. That was the least of Jay's problems. He stood staring at the chicken lady in front of him with his Brother puppet slightly in front of him and to the right. He was ready to do things the hard way if it went down like that. He could always just knock out the boss lady and take the chickens and eggs lining the walls around the room. "Well?" he said to the chicken lady in front of him.

"You'll never get my babies!"

Her babies? She must be talking about the chickens. Just what kind of bandit enterprise have they gotten themselves mixed up with? Welp, at least that meant Jay got to have a bit of fun. His puppet dashed straight toward the chicken lady, it's right arm opening to shoot a kunai at the boss-lady. The chicken lady dodged with impeccable speed. She charged past the puppet and headed straight toward Jay. He tried to pull the puppet back in time but the boss lady was too fast. She landed a swift spinning kick into Jay's side, knocking him into one of the cage lined walls. Wait. Shouldn't he have crashed into the cages? What the hell was going on....DAMN. He had let himself get caught in a genjutsu. How much of it was real and how much of it was in his head? He performed the genjutsu release and saw he was still standing in the same spot just inside the door and slightly to the left of it, staring right at chicken lady with his mouth hanging open. The cages he had seen earlier lining the walls were gone. The entire room was empty besides Jay and chicken lady. Where the hell were the eggs if they weren't here?

Just as he came back to reality he heard a loud speaker system ring out throughout the factory. "WARNING: CHEMICAL LEVELS ARE RISING. EXPLOSION IMMINENT. IMMEDIATE EVACUATION IN A CALM MANNNER" Uh-oh. What the hell did that chef kid do now? The whole place was about to explode and he didn't even know where the real eggs were! "FIFTEEN MINUTE WARNING" Well at least he had a little bit of time left. Just as he was trying to come up with a new plan, he heard a loud crashing noise and the door flew off its hinges past Jay and knocked the mask off chicken-boss-lady. He turned toward the door to look and saw that chef kid standing in the doorway clearly panting for breath. He said something about a big explosion and people being stuck in glue. They had fifteen minutes left. There was a brief pause before the chef kid started shouting about how pretty chicken lady was and that they could never harm her. Well he certainly had weird taste. Jay just shrugged at that.

He was about to grab the kid and leave the factory when the kid said something about saving everyone so they didn't blow up and calling dibs on carrying chicken-lady. Welp. He was probably right. "Alright you get her, but the eggs aren't here! I'll never get to eat breakfast at this rate..." he said to the kid. This whole time he had moved his puppet sneakily behind chicken lady. He used it to hit the boss chicken lady over the head and knock her out. Then he ran past the kid and back out the door with his puppet following close by. As he ran he grabbed one of the glue stuck bandits in his arms and made the puppet do the same. He made his way through the wreck of a factory and out the door to drop the bandits a safe distance away. Then he and his puppet ran back into the factory to grab another two bandits. "TEN MINUTES REMAINING" Shit shit shit shit shit. He really needed to hurry. He sped up the pace as he ran back out the door and dropped off the second pair of bandits.

The insects that had hung back with muscular chicken guy had returned to their home within the puppet by now. Jay and his puppet continued to run back and forth trying to save everyone from the impending explosion. "THIRTY SECONDS REMAINING" OH CRAP THAT'S NOT GOOD! Jay and his puppet were both carrying that giant muscular chicken man now, his pure size requiring both of them to do. As he reached the doors he heard an immense explosion and felt the heat on his back knocking him and the puppet to the ground and dropping muscular puppet guy on the ground in front of them. He got to his feet quickly and looked around hoping to see chef kid somewhere nearby. He did notice, however, that the same old man with the melon cart was across the street and down the block. At least he managed to get his cart fixed and set up again. Jay smiled just as a large metal bin, probably the one containing the glue earlier, came crashing out of the sky and landed right on the melon cart, destroying it for the second time that day. Jay flinched at the sight, feeling a bit guilty now for letting chef kid cause that huge explosion.