The lone bloody soul (p)

xuba swayed in the wind as he felt the wind flow around and about him. Walking back and forward xuba surveyed the land quietly. His mind quiet as the peaceful land seemed to face few peaceful days despite its tendency to be a whirl wind of chaos. Xuba stopped as he took a breath despite all of his training and work he felt incomplete. The few quiet days like this left xuba with enough energy to overflow. Yet he was also seeking perfection in many places where he would not look.
 
Xuba would stop and glance up at the oncoming night sky as despite its stormy tendency the tornado country had a clear and stunning star lit sky. The wind was peaceful as like the sighing of invisible choir as xuba quietly gazed up at the starry sky. The real problem was that he kept seeking for answers that lay unanswered. As a boy lost and forced to grow up he never had more then the ability to learn and listen to many sides. The many that he had to eradicate despite due to persistent bickering over them being correct or attempting to change him for the better. It was not the best of feelings. Xuba showed remorse afterwards but he was not one to turn away from his path he could not. A hand stained with blood was a hand uncleaned till the judgement after life.
 
Perhaps I should break my rule and just take a drink…but then again that’s a vow broken….the quiet makes me think… I cannot afford to think unless in danger…
 
Xuba thought as he sat down and began to heat a fire immediately to keep himself busy. His mind occupied while on downtime. His grey eyes clouded for a moment as he looked at the fire thinking back to his scar on his chest and he absentmindedly touched the scar for an instant. The screams his own screams reminding himself of who he is and why he is this way. What he flees from and why. His mind wandered once more and xuba shook his head to keep himself from idling away in thought.
 
I will go train and better my mind body and soul. I cannot afford to think on these thoughts now… not now… ill train. Focus on the breath and my improvement.
 
Xuba thought as he lay the some of a deer’s meat on a slab to cook for some time as he wandered away and stood silently. Xuba wanted to move as his body tensed up and relaxed. Each time he wanted to move he relaxed and bowed his head in sorrow. He held back many years of hardship and pain as he struggled to come to terms with himself. And striking something was a good vent. Yet it was days like this xuba felt his emotions grip and hold him down unlike any force physically. The young man took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he activated seven heavens the first level for strength to move forward. His body surged as he clentched his fists and gritted his teeth with desperation and frustration. 
 
This is not good enough my body my soul! Give me strength
 
Xuba frustration and rage in himself and his actions took a deep breath and activated the second breath. Yet despite that his strength and speed he could not out run the paralisis that affected his body. He was at his limit and it was infuriating to xuba over the course of all of his training xuba was stuck and he did not have a ear to hear him.  In frustration he threw a punch forcing himself to move. His shoulder hurt a bit and he hissed with pain as he looked down ashamed and enraged as he over extended the limb. Then the tears followed and xuba had fallen to a knee amid the seven heavens as he sobbed softly in the quiet. He could not avoid the  pain despite all his work and no matter his strength he could not out muscle it.


Mother. Why do you besige me like this in my time where I flee you I cannot escape the bloody hand you gave me… why do you you keep haunting me and driving me from my peace of life. It was thanks to you I had to do the deed. I could not roll over and die at your hands….someone had to do it….no one was home….no father to guide me…all alone through the dawn and dusk I held your cold body….i hugged you mother….i loved you…but you never loved me….you beat me. Killed my child hood and lead me to death’s door too many times…but mommy I will not follow your steps….i will be better I will succeed! Even if I must take down so many people with me I will stay a greater man…. I would not drink nor let my judgement misguide me. I cannot nor ever will do such a thing…please leave me be but don’t haunt me. My only request as your son is to let me sleep at night without the pain. But I know a mother duty… despite nearly killing me you were there each time…. And even if i died you wouldve cried.... i doubt it. I will move forward i would keep going bloodsoaked. And i will susceede... mother let me be!

Xuba sobbed and hit the ground softly. As he felt his body shake from fury, sadness, lonliness and disire. Xuba felt it in his heart and soul that his sadness broke his concentration. After sometime xuba took a breath and ended the seven heavens as he  got to his knees and meditated. Trying to regain his bearings.

A shakey breath after another. Slowing the rythm of his rushing emotions as xuba kept refrazing fighting strategies. Hitting back his mother in his mind with the new refraned strategies as xuba consistently beat back his emotions.


(Exit)

Wc:1,005

+5 stats

+1,000 words to seven heavens A ranked