A day of sadness

Thor slowly awoke it was a wonderful morning in hoshi he had big plans that were just around the corner, he was going to learn and get stronger to day. He thought a about what truly wanted in life and why he truly wanted it. Was it a matter of greed and anger or hatred. Did Thor really want to become stronger did he want to become strong enough to hurt people these thoughts clouded his mind slowly but surely he thought about his own morality, he knew next to nobody. Only one person he had met was someone Thor truly admired Tatsuma the strongest person he had ever met. He could hurdle a pebble and it would turn into a bolder be was so strong. Thor began to wonder did he have blood on his hands did they have blood on their hands for belonging to a ninja village protecting those who kill. He had his familys blood on his hands what did they have on theirs. Then he looked down and saw it his clothes sopping with blood slowly dripping from his hands. Then he got up and washed his face off and it was all fine. He had had this dream move and more often recently during the day he had started to feel strong urges to kill and be killed all he wanted was for his death to justify someone else’s crimes against humanity. Then he finally got out of bed and started his day. Thor grabbed his coffee pot and coffee grounds groggily making a strong cup of joe the strongest he had made in ages not since he had made the mistake of using min in coffee had he had something this strong. He took a few sips of it regretting his poor life choices that had led him to be a genin sitting alone at eleven thirty four post meridian in his purple donation bin pajamas hallucinating about his own gruesome murder and hoping for a quick and painless death one with no widows or witnesses one where he was the only one who was sad of his passing. 

Thor undressed and turned on the shower he decided he needed to take a shower as soon as he could as he was starting to stink terribly he just hoped that nobody else had smelled him. Thor got into the shower and as the the scalding water poured over him he started to sing “Oh Why did I not get to be, as happy as thee. Oh why does my work worth less or why can’t I even see. All I can hope for is solace in the one place I need, your arms were made just for me.” Thor’s singing had started to grow forced and pitchy as he struggled to hit notes that he had once done with ease his speaking and singing voice had begun to be riddled with cracks and pitch changes that annoyed Thor greatly. Music had once been his haven his safety from the hatred of the ninja world but now he was just another broken instrument that nobody wants anymore.

Thor started his chores for the day he began to clean the kitchen. he started to mop slowly and steadily towards his oven since it was always the dirtiest spot in the house. Then he took the bottom out of the oven and started to wash it slowly he only did this once or twice a month so he really needed to make sure it was done right. ( Thor hates the smell of smelly burnt on food in people’s ovens, he just never understood why they didn’t clean it, it’s not like the oven is hot all the time) Slowly he cleaned the dishes and messes he had made all week long and never cared to clean up. There were almost 10 bowls and sets of chop sticks just sitting there soaking as Thor called it. He washed them methodically putting them away and getting ready for another week of hard work adjusting to hoshi and their interesting life style choices. He got up from the chair he was sitting on and put the bottom back in the oven trying to decide if he wants to get to work or continue work around the house. Thor sat and thought he could continue to work and get ready for the week ahead or he could ignore all logic and sit around doing nothing. He decided he should at least finish what he had started. Thor put the oven on self clean and started to run the dish washer.

Then Thor was ready to tackle the worst task of all cleaning his living room, due to his apartments small size he had been sleeping on the couch and using his room as a closet for all of the stuff he gathered and scavenged while he was out training most of it was worthless but anything has value if there is enough of it. He had blankets and pillows mixed with food rappers and soda cans. He had last seen the remote about a week ago so inevitably while cleaning he found it almost immediately. He finally felt that the area was clean so he started to watch tv, he had given it up as an excuse to be even lazier so he didn’t even have to look for the remote. He watched random wacky tv shows on the tv many had only one viewer him, it was a beautiful day out and any sensible person would be outside but Thor didn’t fee, like it today and was sitting here trying to get ready for the journey that was to come. He had something in mind but no idea how to do it and when to do it. He wondered about his future and how he should go about his work acquiring power. Was he going to follow the rules or become one of the greats who forged their own path and became Shinobi of legend. Orochimaru and Sarutobi were two of the greatest Shinobi of their time and some day Thor will be as great as them.

Thor had been doing everything in a bathrobe and finally decide it was time to join the rest of the world and get dressed, but all Thor could think about was soft clothes and a stupid comedy not rough cakies and a red buttoned plaid shirt. But he did have to get dressed but he didn’t have to wear anything he doesn’t want to, he got a pair of loose fitting black harem pants and a light weight baggy black sweatshirt. He had had a difficult time choosing between the more light weight clothing and warm soft clothing. Thorfinn grabbed his hoshi headband and knotted it tightly around his arm. Thor kneeled down and saw a large array of socks in all colors shapes sizes and patterns, he looked around for a while and then he had ruled it down to Santa clause and Bob Ross Socks. In the end thor chose The yellow knee high Bob Ross socks. Then it was onto another decision for Thor. He had always had trouble deciding what kind of shoes he liked to wear, all shoes are comfortable but some just don’t seem to fit and look right. Thor thought about it for a long while and finally decided on his calf high rattle snake boots, they wouldn’t fall off and they especially would be comfortable.

Then Thor stood up and moved around an little his clothes weren’t restrictive or holding him down. He finally decided it was time for him to do the thing he hated most in the world get a hair cut. Thor had been thinking about getting one for a while and decided that he was going to get a man bun with shaved sides but then he never got around to it and Thor was thinking and he didn’t want a hair cut or did he. It seemed like all Thor did was convince him self to do one thing then make himself think again because he wants to do another. He ended up going to get the bangs trimmed  and the sides fixed up he didn’t want a repeat of last time where they grew way to long and got extremely furry and annoyed Thor. He got up slowly and grabbed his bag as he walked out the door. His bad was full of useless stuff that Thor had very little use for. He walked down the flight of stairs thinking about jumping down them or if he should get a hair cut . All he could think about was himself he got crazy hallucinations he had panic attacks he was beginning to have signs of major issues but he kept them bottled up within trying to think about other things hoping he can think about other things. He got to the bottom of the stairs and walked out into the cold air of mid day he thought about going back and abandoning the whole thing but he decided to just keep going Thor hadn’t left the house in about a week and he needed to get out and away from the pit of filth he was getting used to living in.

He walked down the crowded street seeing all of these faces going by him and none of them blinked an eye. Thor thought to himself damn my face must not look that bad after all. He got off of the Main Street and slowly started to walk down the side street towards the barber. He heard a slight ring in his ear probably from Main Street but Thor didn’t mind as long as he was happy he was safe. He arrived at the barber about five to ten minutes early for his appointment and stood there watching the man cut a small boys hair and how differently he did it to the full grown man right next to him. He did it rough and fast with the man presumably because he had done this to that man about a few hundred times or more. Thor then turned him attention to the boy slowly realizing that he wasn’t the only one the barber looked directly at his hair and slowly and precisely cut this boys hair trying to keep him calm and happy. Then he was finished with the boy letting him out of the chair and the man and him walked away happy.

The man called “Thor or a uhh Thorfinn” and Thor stood up he had been waiting a while for the time he would cut his hair. He walked up to the chair and the only thought in his head was run, there is still time to escape before he catches you but then he sat down and he was trapped he couldn’t get away now. The man draped a large bib over his neck and put a small cloth on his neck. He started to methodically cut and prune back his hair. He was just sitting there thinking and that was what Thor didn’t want. Thor doesn’t want to think anymore about anything at all period. All Thor can think about his being happy and being happy dose not involve thinking. He finally started on Thor haircut and asked thor what he wanted “I’ll take a bit off the sides and then trim the bangs they are kinda starting to get in my way” Then the man got to work on the bangs. He chopped away at them until they were almost gone but Thor didn’t mind as long as they were out of his face and not getting in his way. All Thor thought about was how things impacted him and how he should act I guess that I what life is about. Self preservation survival of the fittest and what not. He couldn’t take it anymore but then the kind old man lifted the bib and told Thor he was free to go.

Thor got up and walked out that was another crisis averted and all he could think about was getting something done for a change. He wanted to change so he walked back onto the Main Street and walked around looking at all of the stalls and booths trying to find something to interest him. After searching for a while he saw a double decker octopus pancake with chili sauce, Thor got two orders and walked hope quickly hoping to eat them before they got cold and soggy, often the vinegar will almost eat through the pancake and ruin it. Thor was almost running at this point when he saw a store selling bubble tea. He immediately stopped and went inside, there was a kind girl making the tea. Thor ordered taro or sweet purple potato bubble tea. When he got the tea Thor slowly sat down and started to eat his pancakes and drink his tea. There were quite a few other people in the shop but no one else seemed to pay any mind to Thor just the way he liked it. He was looking back into the kitchen there were what looked to be three generations of people back there there was the grandma and the mother then the girl in the front looked to be the grand daughter, he wondered if it went farther or if it was founded by the grandmother or the grand father Thor didn’t know but he didn’t really care.

He started to eat his food, the pancakes had small pieces of cabbage in it that helped mix up the texture, the outside had crunchy crisp fried egg and some very delicate slices of daikon and potatoes. There was a sauce made of vinegar and soy sauce with chili sauce mixed in. He ate around and finished his food rather quickly and took his tea with him out the door. He walked down the street towards his home. He arrived almost ten minutes later and opened the door and was hit by a wall of charred gross smell. All Thor could think was god dammit why am I so stupid. He walked up into his house and opened the windows, the oven had completed its cycle and turned off but the smell filled Thor’s home. Thor gave up and laid down on the couch while he took off his shirt. He threw it into the hamper across the room and started to boil some water and then he threw in some noodles and started to cook up some peanut sauce. He took peanuts and mashed them up and then added chili oil and some soy sauce. He poured it over the noodles and then sat down on the couch. He slowly drifted off into a deep sleep leaving his noodles laying there. Thor dreamed and saw it over and over again his mother then his brother and then the other brother all dead slowly withering away in the ground.

He saw his mothers face being eaten by bugs they slowly crawled over her face consuming her eyes and slowly tearing off her skin, there was a crunch crunch crunch as they tore apart the people that he cared about. He just sat there watching feeling that they had died for nothing, Thor is nothing he has accomplished nothing that is all Thor felt that day was ashamed of his life of living at all. Thor was the one who deserved to die that day, not his mother not his siblings, why did they die not him.

Wc 2605
Claiming 13 stats
2000 wc towards chakra suppression 
http://naruto-role-play-rpg.forumotion.com/t22718-chakra-suppression?highlight=Suppression
605 towards Earth turning Palm
http://naruto-role-play-rpg.forumotion.com/t24666-earth-release-tearing-earth-turning-palm

Approved