How are you, Old Friend? [P: Yensung][NK]

"Fuck" Ayame cursed under her breath. It seemed as though it was one of the few words she could say without a stutter. Yet all she could do was repeat it as she tried to cope with all the things that used to be familiar to her rushing back into her life. Even the sun was too much on her eyes; so much so that she could barely see. 

She was frustrated with her everyday life. Changing clothes, brushing her hair, showering... it felt foreign, though memory told her it was normal. Thus she did it anyway. 

Everything was a struggle except fighting and surviving. She couldn't even talk without a stutter or losing the words she was trying to say, and always felt as if something was hunting her.

Nita crawled forward and stretched, yawning and shaking off her sleep.

Ayame turned to the rat feeling guilty. If they hadn't escaped the caves when they did, Ayame probably would have been forced to eat her dear friend to stay alive, and she never forgave herself for having those thoughts.

"I-I know... you w-want m-me to-to stay" she tried to get through her words as best as she could, fighting back the tears. "But but I owe it to-to some... someone to g-g-go" She was intent on her words but it was as if her brain was lagging behind her mouth.

Ayame continued packing her things, holding back the tears of frustration, thinking to herself that it would be better for her to not talk at all. It was only a day trip to the cemetery. How hard could that be?

"Fuck" Ayame cursed again, her hands shaking from the feeling of someone or something watching her... breathing down her neck. She turned quickly, but nothing and nobody was there.

After a couple more minutes filled with pacing and double checking to make sure she had everything, she set off from her apple tree home and found her way to the streets, keeping her head down and trying to avoid contact with everyone. She kept out of touching distance of everyone that she could, though it was impossible on the main roads.

Eventually the feeling of being hunted down creeped up on her again, and when she thought she felt someone grab her shoulder, she turned and plowed into an older gentleman carrying some gourds to sell at the market. 

Ayame's breathing sped up further and before she could even think, she found herself running away and feeling ashamed. She should have helped the old man back up. She should have apologized. But she didn't.

After the commotion died down, she continued on her way to the cemetery. It had been such a long time since she traversed the beaten pathways. But a visit was long overdue.

She finally made her way to a tombstone, and sat behind it. The grass used to be worn down here, but after being away for so long, it had regrown.  She used to come and talk to Kasuga, an old friend, whenever she needed guidance, though it's not like he could answer.

"H-how are you, o-old f-f-friend?" She uttered. After a moment of trying to compose herself, she began to crack. 

"Damn! Wh-why is is is this so f-fucking hard!" she growled beginning to cry. "Wh-y-y can't I speak!" she slammed her fist into the ground creating a small indent in the earth. "Wh-why did did did I have to to t-take that damned mi-mission?" Ayame couldn't stop her tears. 

This was exactly why she couldn't go out for ramen with the few friends she had that missed her, or even go and train without being as silent as a brick wall, not to mention constantly looking over her shoulder, paranoid. Plus she was fearful that she would go into survival mode and kill her sparring opponent. 

Yeah she had a long way to go. At least she could release her emotions here instead of letting them build up. And on missions? Yeah forget that. She needed to be a quick and efficient soldier. Nothing more. Nothing less.

But here? Here she was a young girl struggling to re adjust to normal life.

Yen floated over the village building quietly musing over his past actions. Perhaps his discussion with jason struck an reminder that even the past had an means to be changed. What if he did not stab sal,and even if he took his friends place would things have been better? Perhaps. But now he looked over the village, and kinzoku was even more reclusive.showing an weariness yen has seen before in all of the kage. The waning will to be the face.

But he would address that later as he now from deputy kage duties on his break decided to venture amid konoha to get the full scope of the village. While it was nice he glanced towards the graveyard and decided to fly towards there as if anything he wished to pay salzem a visit.

Landing softly before the gate he with respect and a sweeping gold and black robes made his way through the grave yard till he stood before the monument he had made for salzem. Money although was nothing but an mortal concept. In his soul he felt that missing peice still. He had changed. Sadness was still flowing through him. Still he gook off his hat and sighed. But another voice quivering caught his ears and he noted the shakiness behind it.

hm what is wrong here?

Yen thought as he payed a bow to sals grave and headed towards the sound hidden behind some graves the small man hovered above the grave mass and spotted the girl very familiar but it has been a few years.

"Ayame is that you?"

Ayame froze at the sudden voice, turning her head slightly, on guard. The voice was familiar to her, yet somehow she couldn't place it. Quickly she wiped her tears, and tried to hide her anger, turning to the voice. 

"Y-y-yen-n?" She stuttered, her last memory of him being from when they were training in the desert, shortly before things went to hell in a hand basket. She flinched at her own voice wavering. Nita would have recognized his scent in an instant had she been along.

Much had changed. Ayame's hair was now long, trailing down much further than her shoulders, considering the last time it hadn't even been long enough to cover her ears. Ayame had also lost a lot of her muscle tone and her skin had paled significantly from the lack of light in the caves. it had only been a month since the leaf ninja found her in the woods, but everything still affected her greatly. She had a scar that ran from her cheek to her chin from a fight she got into in the desert with some rogues and her eyes seemed hollow, as if they looked past everything. Yet she couldn't look at the man's face.

"I... I-" Ayame stopped herself, remembering the stutter and not wanting to embarass herself further. She felt like just a shambled mess of the girl that used to be, though she had matured much more, physically and mentally, despite the struggles she now faced. She had a greater understanding of what it takes to survive, and the concept of loneliness, as well as the fear of perishing. g.

She clenched her jaw and tried to speak again. "It-it's b-b-been a long... long...long t-time," she couldn't even finish her sentence. "Damn!" she growled under her breath to herself, sounding rather bestial.

Ah it was her. The girl had gone missing for a good deal of time. Indeed much had changed. Still what was her voice of strength was now weakened. It made sense that she was gone for so long. But perhaps it was for the better. Still it was as if the past always walked back to him. She stammered and yen floated down next to the girl and opened an warm arm softly shushing her.

"First thing ayame give me a hug."

Yen spoke warmly and smiled to the girl and all it meant was that she was more importantly home. Or what it is and was. But for that he needed to take her slowly in the wake up. First she needed a reminder of warmth. D

If she accepted the hug he would give her a soft warm hug. And speak up.

"What happened ayame? Take your time and relax dont be afraid"

Aya stood up from behind Kasuga Ametsuchi's humble grave. When yen offered the girl a hug, she became confused and took a step back shaking her head. It didn't feel right to her. Had it been too long? He felt like a stranger, almost. She opened her mouth to speak but then stopped herself. Things were different now. Every touch, even a friendly one, felt uncomfortable. It made her want to shrivel up, even when the doctors examined her after her return. 

"I.. I can-n't speak. N-n-not l-like I used t-to to" She forced herself to talk in response to him asking about what happened to her. "It's It's not.." she couldn't even finish her sentence before she lost her words. She knew what she was trying to say, but just couldn't get it from her brain to her mouth.

She was locked in a world. Just like he was after sal. She was locked and list in herself. Even on her own for so long the shrinking back of the girl spoke it to sums to yen as he appropriately waited on the hug. deciding to save it later.

She could hardly form a full sentence possibly due to her isolation, and now trying to adjust.

So he sat down in the grass and looked at her quietly. Now he was curious. She was lost still he spoke up a little.

"Lots has changed here. Even now i am uncertain how we are stillstanding, but in time just like you and everything.we will get better ayame. I promise."

Ayame watched as the man seemed to talk in riddles again. His words seemed a bit off. He sat in the grass calmly, so she followed suit. It felt natural to her to sit like this. It reminded her of the time she would spend training barefoot in the grass or on the river. A much simpler time.

It was a while before the girl spoke again as she began plucking blades of grass and tying knots in them, something she would do as a young girl in her years at the orphanage. "So sososo It hasn't-n;t been eas-sy for... for y-you either?" she muttered, barely even thinking as the words flowed more easily from her brain as she distracted herself. Maybe her overthinking was causing her problems. Even so, it was going to take a lot of training to even attempt to reverse it. "y-y-you sai-said 'w-w-we' " she reminded him.

It took her time and her question came. He had a sad look on his face as he replied and shook his head.

"Ayame we lost many people. Some lost their way, you and a few returned, but orokana im afraid he is among the deceased. I tried but we got his body back about a year or so ago. Sickness took him in the place known as hoshi. Where he fled to. I recently lost my own assistant but i dont know where her remains lie. I searched myself ayame i couldnt find her.... and"

He went silent as he turned towards the monument of the grave that had salzems body.

"That was the result of konohas darkest hour when even though we fought he was by our own failure and actions we failed. My village was forced to do the unthinkable to stay alive. We lost a few that day to betrayal. They watched among kirigakures lines not even trying to stop it. A world of treacherous actions with tortured souls."

Ayame listened intently, stopping her grass tying and focusing on each word. Orokana's death took her aback. She zoned out a moment, ears ringing. She couldn't follow the conversation after that. It felt as if time had stopped completely. 

Upon the mention of the little memorial, she wandered over there to have a look. When she saw the name, she felt a numbness overtake her. "Salzem.. he-he is h-here to-too?" she felt her heart sink. It was too much. Two people dear to her were just... gone. And she was the lucky one, escaping the ruins alive, albeit two years after disappearing in the earthquake. 

Ayame's hands trembled remembering her wolf-friend. "How... h-how di-id I surv-survive?" she muttered, guilt overtaking her being. Not only had she survived, but it was her kin that had brought this chaos onto her village. "I... I was was was bor-orn in in Ki-Kiri" She mentioned, her fist tightening. "They... they l-left me h-here"

After a moment of her reflecting on her heritage, she spoke again, "What-at had we... had we..." she grew silent again. "What had had w-we d-done to to to cause this-is? Wh-why would th-they att-atta-ck-ck"

Her reaction was sad but understandable. Initial discovery alone was crushing. families spun out of control. And in this case students find their leaders in the cruelty of fate were torn from their reach.in this he understood too well. He had to stab sal along with the rest of konoha. The harrowing truth lived in modern konoha. An sickening existance all alone in itself. But no group of induviduals could say witha straight face their own homes did not befall the szme.

It was only the nature of mortals playing an shadowy role. That enabled such harrowing conditions to befall upon the masses. The minds and souls hiding intent and desperation. As well as the futre results of that drive of survival. A life of decit and blood only cherry because a system of lawlessness was no more than theharbringer of shinobi systems to nature sooner than later. But in that yen understood too well he wrestled and still do at times. The act of betrayal and even the many saved at the cost and painting of one.

He floated towards the girl and shook his head.

"How is because we lost. In many ways you now couldve returned to a village of charred skulls and bones. But decisions kept us alive. It is only man versus man. It is why we honor him. But as for kiri assaulting us. Power,greed, the mizukage only saw his means by his own ego. But the people thst followed him spoke their awnser when they not oy struck us, but our children. Kin or not. It matters on your choices and the outcome you accept. Just like salzem did."