Academy Days

Gun’s mouth opened, she wanted to answer Kana honestly and fully… but her voice didn’t come out, nothing did. She gulped once, hoping to whet her whistle enough to let her voice out. “I…” Nothing else came out. Gun had made assessments on people before, the constant people that visited her mom at the bars, but her assessments had never, not even once, affected her actions… until now. While she wanted to tell Kana that her obvious physical limitations meant she would never be a shinobi in the same vein that Gun could become one, she wasn’t confident in her ability to assess someone to know that was true. Maybe she just needed more protein and her body would catch up, maybe with just an abundance of training Kana could close the gap. She couldn’t be sure that how she felt was accurate about Kana’s future. She couldn’t tell her what she foresaw of her future, so she had to settle on being mostly true.

She tried again, but again her mouth and her voice seemed to be disconnected from each other. Swiveling on her heel, Gun turned away from Kana. She knew it was silly and she probably looked foolish too, but maybe if she weren’t staring at those silver eyes, maybe then she could get some words out. She gulped once more, before trying to speak again.

“You… you have… you are…” Her voice seemed to be working, but now her mind wasn’t keeping up. She took a moment to formulate her words before trying again. “I lack… what you have: tenacity.” Gun’s completed complete sentence felt good. She decided to keep going, “I admire… you and that. I guess I was… trying to test myself. I wanted to see what you’d do. Gun was almost proud of herself for how much she’d spoken, she might actually be proud of she were looking at Kana while saying it. She had purposely left out that she felt Kana would need to develop shinobi skills outside of physical battles if she wanted to be successful, because she didn’t trust herself to be correct, but also because Kana was the type to come to the realization on her own. It would likely be better if she did come to that realization without Gun saying anything.

“Sorry, what you’d do if you had to do more, if you were pushed further. I wanted to see that tenacity in full effect, but…” her voice faltered. She already knew that Kana had a very low evaluation of her which made her hesitant to admit her own weaknesses, but she had committed so far. “I failed. Your attacks… they pressured me, mentally. And I panicked and pushed you down. You beat me, so I resigned. Sorry to let you down.” Gun still felt silly, pouring her heart out to someone she barely knew with her back turned towards her, but that was all she could muster so far in her journey. She just hoped Kana didn’t attack her.

WC: 503
TWC: 1459

Kana waited with baited breath as Gunshin seemed to struggle to communicate, yet she made no move to create distance, to force Kana back, instead the stronger girl merely turned away from her as she struggled to form words, the beginnings of sentences starting and trailing off, only to start once more and fail as Gunshin seemed incapable of speech. All while Kana glared at her back, waiting to hear the girl's response or until she tried to give up. Her fists were clenched, she was prepared to attack, she was eager but she restrained herself for the time being, she needed to wait, to hear Gunshin's reasoning before she could give into her rage.

Yet that rage faded into stupor as she listened Gunshin's admitting to admiring her. A strange feeling took it's place, a warmth in her chest that flowed to her face, turning her cheeks red as she glared away from the girl, unwilling to look at her, lest Gunshin see the effect of her words. What was there to admire in her? Gunshin had everything, she could relax and play her stupid games and go to her stupid parents with her stupid friends, eat her stupid food on her stupid bed while Kana had forgone most things in life for her training and putting her all into becoming a kunoichi, something Gunshin seemed to be doing just because.... Because reasons that weren't apparent to Kana. Gunshin barely seemed to want to be a shinobi at times, she was strong, fast but lacked any sort of drive, instead it seemed she just floated along because it was expected of her.

"You.... Ugh...." Kana tried to say before letting out a frustrated groan, trying to formulate her own response to the girl. Gunshin was better than Kana in every way that mattered except for the most important thing. She lacked the willpower to keep up, she'd hold herself back out of some fear of something, maybe it was just her nature, maybe something bad happened, Kana wasn't sure what had happened but seeing her waste her potential wasn't going to do anymore. But how the fuck was she supposed to try and fix that problem? She couldn't exactly force Gunshin to grow the same way Kana had, even if she could it might mess with Gunshin's own strengths, she was faster and stronger for a reason after all. She was racking her brain for an idea of what to to do, how she could try and force Gunshin to get better. The thought of leaving her behind didn't sit right with Kana anymore, she didn't think she could try and toughen her up by bullying her either. She wouldn't ever dare admit it to anyone but she didn't want to lose that admiration Gunshin held for her. Until an idea finally struck her. One that made her face flush even more but it was the best idea she could think of.

".... Would.... Would you want to become friends?" She'd hesitantly offer, not looking anywhere near Gunshin and instead still glaring into the nearby wall, afraid to see her reaction. She would become like a coach to Gunshin, encouraging her and guiding her to do better but instead of strengthening her body, she'd focused on trying to improve her willpower, make her more assertive and determined. It was the only solution she could think of to that problem, just as the instructor was teaching them how to fight, she'd be teaching Gunshin how to stand up for herself.

WC: 589
TWC: 5,885

Gunshin could tell from Kana's lack of a true sentence that the shorter girl was flustered, but she presumed that she was mad at her. It wasn't out of the question for Kana to be mad at Gun; in fact, anger towards Gun seemed to be the feeling Kana generally had. Though Kana hadn't seen it yet, her tenacity had already instilled some drive in Gun: she had stepped forward earlier, purposely putting attention onto herself, and had tried her best to thwart as many of Kana's physical advances as she could. The fire in Kana's being had already spread to Gun and she might very well be changed forever because of it, but neither shinobi hopeful fully realized how much they could both be strengthened by the other. When Kana offered friendship, Gun's face lit up, her mouth and cheeks rising higher on her face than they'd ever risen before.

"Really?!" Gun was excited by the prospect. Gun's mother was the closest thing to a friend that Gun had ever had and rarely confided in Gun the same way that had confided in her. To Gun, her mother had been everything from provider, doctor, protector, to therapist and Gun had been nothing but a daughter to her mother. Even Gun understood that her mother wasn't a friend because she never saw Gun as an equal but now Gun could have a friend! Someone besides her mother to rely on and confide in, someone that she could help and prop up. The idea was truly exciting to her and Kana seemed like a great person to be her friend!

"Yes yes! I'd really like that! Gun was so excited, but then she realized that she was still facing the wall and Kana was behind her. She hadn't been friends with someone before, but she was fairly certain that friends usually talked to each other, not just at each other like she was currently doing to Kana. She swiveled on her heel, her green hair swishing around her head before stopping just a moment after Gun had stopped her spin. "But! If we're going to be friends, you have to eat some of my lunch. I noticed that you usually skip lunch to study so I've been packing more than I need, but I was too shy to offer you some of it. My mom gets a bunch of leftovers from her work at the end of the night, so there's always plenty for us to eat. With all the jumping and fighting we do, you need to keep up with your calories. So promise me you'll help me eat my lunch, promise?" She said, an excited but expectant look on her face. She was hunched forward just a little, her face on the same level as Kana's as she awaited her response.

WC: 472
TWC: 1931

Kana wasn't sure what she was expecting when she made her offer, she kept her eyes focused on the wall and away from Gunshin, the girl would probably be too meek to outright refuse her but what she wasn't expecting at all was the sheer amount of excitement in Gunshin's voice as expressed her surprise and disbelief over Kana's offer of friendship. Something that only made Kana's face flush even more. Why the hell was she so excited about this? She could've probably made friends with anyone in the school if she wanted. Yet she chose her. Kana only glared harder to the wall and ducked her head down, trying to hide her blush, unable to look at Gunshin's reaction of excitement.

And then she had to go and do something as stupid as offer her some of that spare food she was lunging around and Kana just kept glaring into the wall, her face red and a very odd feeling in her chest that were making her eyes become misty. That stupid girl wasn't supposed to be trying to take care of her, just because Kana was weaker didn't mean she needed her charity. Yet it brought such strange warmth to her chest and she barely could believe it or find the words to speak. She didn't even know what she was feeling, let alone how to go about communicating it. Part of her wanted to reject the offer but Gunshin admired her, that offer wasn't made out of pity.... It was... She didn't know what it was. But she liked it.

"F-Fine, I'll eat some of your food....." She eventually grumbled out, still glaring at the wall with a red face and misty eyes yet the small curve on her lips were only intensified by the scar on her face as she couldn't fight back the smile that she doing her best to subdue. "B-But I'll do something for you as well! I-I'll....." Kana spoke without thinking, she'd accept the offer but she'd do something in return, she needed to offer something in return yet her mind was pulling a blank. "I-I'll help you study.... And fight better...You were fast but you won't always be the fastest person in a fight..." She'd eventually settle on, weakly grumbling out a reason why she could try and train Gunshin to fight. Gunshin definitely had her beat in terms of physicality but maybe Kana could try and impact some of her savagery onto the girl's fighting style to make her into a real pain to fight.

WC: 425
TWC: 6,310

Gun was still overcome with excitement as she awaited Kana's response to her lunch sharing proposition. She wondered if school would be more fun now that she had someone to share her day with. When Kana said she'd help her eat the food she brought, Gun reached forward and pulled Kana in for a hug. When she released her, Kana spoke up "B-But I'll do something for you as well! I-I'll....." Gun was glad to have someone help her, so she was excited for what Kana would offer to do. "I-I'll help you study.... And fight better...You were fast but you won't always be the fastest person in a fight..."

"Deal!" She agreed without hesitating. It was true that Gun didn't spend nearly enough time going over the theoretical side of chakra usage and control, not to mention the tactics that their instructor had been teaching them. On top of that, Gun had mostly relied on being faster than her opponent in all of her spars to date, including the one that had just concluded with Kana, so the idea of getting some seriously tenacious fighting skills was also ideal for the kunoichi hopeful.

That's when Gun realized that they'd kind of just left class without any reason, she was sure there were more spars going on and they should probably be watching them. She was sure the instructor would be upset if they stayed gone too long. "Speaking of studying, should we get back to class?!" A large grin formed on Gun's face as she completed her question. Not only was Gun excited to have a friend, but she was also excited to have someone to share this life with, someone she could share her feelings and the hardships that she was sure would eventually come with the shinobi lifestyle. Kana would be there through it all and she would know the same hardships, ones that her mother would never be able to help Gun handle and deal with. Now that Gun was as determined as Kana to follow this path as long as she was able, Gun knew having an accountability partner would be more beneficial than all of the inborn talent she had been born with.

One month later...

Academy had gotten more fun for Gun as her friendship with Kana had developed and deepened. Gun was excited to see Kana almost every day and Kana made sure Gun wasn't just training physically when classes were over. Though Gun still preferred the physical aspect of shinobi training, Kana wouldn't let her focus solely on those skills. Gun felt a little frustrated about the other stuff because she still hadn't tapped into her chakra and some of the other students had made breakthroughs in that field. When the class was all about sparring, Gun had proven to be one of the better ones due to her ability to outpace the other kids and a keen observational mind, but now that others were showing progress in that field, Gun felt like she was falling behind. Luckily, Kana had not let Gun's frustrations hinder her studying.

WC: 516
TWC: 2447

Kana didn't quite understand why Gunshin had been so excited and happy to be friends with her at first, for the first few days since their formal friendship started she was hesitant to speak with her and engage with her beyond the training and study sessions, she didn't know what to say or do and she felt scared she might offend the meek girl and push her away so Kana kept quiet and listened for the most part, only chipping in on the odd occasion when it wasn't trying to teach Gunshin about one subject or another. Eventually as the weeks went by, she eventually warmed up to the shy girl and let her more loud and abrasive personality shine through in their interactions yet never directed any of it toward Gunshin, instead she would mutter about how stupid the instructor was for failing to teach properly, grumble about the other kids having their clans or older siblings or parents teach them how to actually use chakra.

That was completely disregarding her own ability to use some chakra. Kana had taken to using chakra like a fish in the water and could arguably be one of the best in the class but it was tough to tell since nobody had been quite able to manifest that chakra into any form of jutsu yet. But Kana was certain she was on the verge of figuring that out, she could direct her chakra and memorized each hand seal yet she couldn't quite mold it into a tangible result, her focus split between molding and controlling her chakra and running her hands into each different hand seal was proving difficult to maintain. Yet she made it a point to share her discoveries with Gunshin, explaining what it felt like and using various crude analogies to try and make it easier to explain to the taller girl and encouraging her to keep trying.

The same had extended to their sparring sessions, she had been slowly working it into Gunshin's head to become more brutal, forcing the girl to use some of Kana's own tricks against her. It was by no means pleasant for either of them, Kana's pain tolerance was high but didn't mean she didn't feel it and Gunshin was so meek, shy and friendly that she didn't even seem to like causing anyone pain, but it would toughen them up and prepare them for the life of a kunoichi, if Gunshin could learn to try and scratch out her friend's eyes, she would find it far more easier to do it to some random person trying to attack them. At least that was the logic Kana was using and as the two wrapped up the most recent sparring, Kana couldn't help but wince as she took a seat underneath a nearby tree, the two having decided to spar outside in the cool spring air and as usual, Kana lost the fight, still never quite able to close the gap between the two in terms of physical skills and her little bag of tricks were long since exhausted and with her teaching Gunshin how to fight dirty and brutal like she did, she had only been helping in widening that gap.

"Good work today..." Kana would grumble out as she grabbed a bottle of water and begun to guzzle down the drink, uncaring for the way some of it spilt past her mouth and onto her clothes, she was sweating and too exhausted to really care about it. "How's your chakra exercises coming along? Did you figure it out yet?" She'd question the taller girl, her silver eyes looking over at the taller girl, shifting the topic onto studying, a more familiar topic for the two and one that Kana always lead with even a month into their friendship.

WC: 636
TWC: 6,946

Gun had thoroughly enjoyed Kana’s training so far. It was good to feel the skin of someone under her fingernails, the feel of flesh at the end of a punch, and the movements of joints while you tried to hold them still. It provided Gun with practical experience that would be useful to her when she really got into a fight. Being able to tell the difference between when a punch lands successfully and when it simply taps an opponent could be the difference between life and death. The feeling of someone’s flesh rippling as a result of your punch could be quite shocking, luckily she had already experienced it prior to a true battle.

Gun also enjoyed hearing Kana’s thoughts and opinions on others, even if they were often pretty negative. Sometimes, they made Gun laugh because they were so true and something that Gun would’ve never thought of on her own. While they had grown closer, Gun still had questions about Kana’s life and upbringing, but she’d learning that Kana didn’t really like talking about those things.

"How's your chakra exercises coming along? Did you figure it out yet?" Kana’s question, one Gun had heard some variation of quite often lately, brought Gun out of her reverie. She looked over, seeing those silver eyes looking at her and waiting for a response. She wanted to lie, tell her that “she had figured it out and everything was going to be fine!” but she also felt like Kana would know she was lying and already knew the answer. She hates that she couldn’t figure it out and that Kana had to continually keep trying different analogies to help her get the hang of it. Gun also didn’t want to lie to her first, best, and only friend.

“They’re coming,” she answered noncommittally, turning her head to her own water to get a drink. As she drank, she knew the silence was Kana waiting for a more concrete answer. “I haven’t figured it out yet. Soon, I hope.” Gun had not come to terms yet with her own shortcomings, she liked being good at something and this lack of ability in chakra seemed to really be getting her down. Kana, despite being kind and remaining very positive about Gun’s future success, still made Gun feel like she was a failure. Despite intellectually understanding that Kana must have felt the same way about Gun earlier in their relationship, Gun still didn’t like being unable to prove her friend’s faith in her to be well placed. They knew that when the academy was over there would be an exam and those who pass would become shinobi and neither of them really knew what would become of those that failed the exam and neither of them wanted to find out. Gun was worried she would lose her friend if she failed the exam.

As if feeling the need to defend herself, Gun added “But I'm not the only one, there's still a few of us left." She knew it was a lame defense and she didn't want to be one of the last ones in the class to be able to manifest chakra. “And I have been working on getting the handseals down!" It was true, Gun had been practicing the handseals, but that was because she had been having so much trouble getting the feeling down for the chakra. She would do random combinations, but without chakra, she wasn't even sure they would work correctly. She just hoped her practice would be useful once she figured out this complicated chakra stuff.

WC: 599
TWC: 3046

Kana simply sat and leaned back against the tree, listening as Gunshin answered the question with half a ear, her focus was mostly on just getting the girl to talk and hear about her progress, Kana figured it would be the first thing Gunshin would talk about if she managed to figure it out yet and the fact it wasn't just meant Gunshin would need to keep training. She'd figure it out one way or another, Kana would make sure of it. Still, it didn't help that Gunshin seemed to be putting so much pressure on herself, pointing out the other few students who had yet to figure out chakra and Kana only rolled her eyes before sitting up and gently poking the girl's nose. "Take your time. You'll figure it out even if you do end up being the last one to learn it. People aren't going to judge if they know what's good for their health." Kana would reassure the girl, a vicious grin on her face as she'd do so. It hasn't been necessary yet but Kana knew for a fact that she'd go toe to toe with anyone who tried to pick on Gunshin, the taller girl may be capable of defending herself far better but it was very possible that she'd give in to social pressure. Such restrains wouldn't stop Kana and she made sure everyone knew it.

She had already gotten into a fight with one of the other kids in the school, the other girl thought it would be a wise move to pick on Kana for her scar and she made sure that the other girl left the fight with a black eye. That detention was totally worth it. While their friendship was still a bit new in all things considered, Kana felt sure that the other kids in the class realized the two loners became friends and that would mean trying to pick on Gunshin would result in Kana stepping in even if Gunshin had things covered. "But it's good you're figuring out the hand seals, those things can be especially tricky to nail down. I still some times fuck it up while working my way through the hand seals." Kana kept encouraging the girl, admitting her own struggles with the hand seals, granted her problem was mostly shifting from seal to seal, she had memorized the seals at this point but her hands would some times entangle themselves as she tried to shift through them quicker and quicker.

"Wanna go through the hand seals together?" She'd offer, turning her full body toward Gunshin and already prepared to run through the hand seals with Gunshin to teach the girl how to weave and form them properly, her grin losing it's viscous edge and instead becoming more genuine and friendly as she waited to hear Gunshin's response. She already felt like she knew the answer, as much progress as been made with their friendship, it was still relatively new and the two focused more on training and studying as opposed to simply hanging out. Kana wasn't going to be the first to suggest such a thing considering she was living in the barracks with other, fully grown shinobi for the time being, nor did she really know what kids their age were supposed to do considering she spent most of her own free time training and studying.

WC: 565
TWC: 7,511

"Take your time. You'll figure it out even if you do end up being the last one to learn it. People aren't going to judge if they know what's good for their health." Kana proclaimed and Gun knew it to be true. Gun could only imagine that Kana's feelings were the same as her own. While Gun didn't feel the need to break the noses of everyone who called her mean names, her desire to protect Kana from the same mean names was much stronger. She couldn't really explain why that was, but she figured it was relatively normal for people you cared for. When Gun had heard about Kana getting into a fight over another student mocking Kana's scar, Gun was overcome with rage for the first time in her life. She wanted to barge into the Academy the next day and give that girl a scar to match Kana's, but Kana had talked her down. Besides, when Gun did see that student the next day, her right eye was incredibly noticeable as it was black and blue from Kana's own detention earning actions.

"But it's good you're figuring out the hand seals, those things can be especially tricky to nail down. I still some times fuck it up while working my way through the hand seals." Gun listened as Kana relayed her own struggles. It was nice to know that these new skills they were learning in the academy were even challenging for Kana despite her increasingly considerable skills with chakra. In the back of her mind, she wondered if Kana was telling the truth or just trying to make her feel better, but Gun preferred to think that her friend would be honest with her, even when trying to make Gun feel better. She wondered if everyone had that voice in the back of their mind that made them doubt the good intentions of others. She ignored that thought as Kana began speaking again.

"Wanna go through the hand seals together?" Kana offered and Gun was sure it was more of a confidence booster than actual practice for Kana, but Gun appreciated the effort. As Kana turned towards her, Gun saw her grin and it made Gun wonder.

"Nah," Gun answered, her mind already moving away from their previous conversation. "You remember when that girl made fun of your scar?" Gun asked, trying to be cautious. She didn't want to upset Kana and she knew it was a soft spot for the shorter girl, but they'd grown closer over this last month. "You never told me what happened to you." Gun wanted to know Kana better; they often trained and studied, and their feelings towards each other seemed to be growing stronger, but Gun still didn't really know much about Kana or her past. She knew that Kana had been an orphan for as long as she could remember and had always lived in Sakura, but other than that, Gun knew nothing. She could barely fathom a girl as young and small as Kana trying to survive on the streets with no one to take care of her. In a way, it made Gun really appreciate everything her mother had done for her.

"You don't have to!" Gun finally exclaimed, realizing that she was probably pushing some buttons that she wasn't sure Kana was ready for. "But, if you ever do want to tell me,, I'll listen." She turned away from Kana, nervous about what she'd just asked of her friend.

WC: 585
TWC: 3631

As Kana waited patiently for the answer she thought she already knew, the grin on her face lessened and instead an eyebrow rose up, curious why Gunshin was turning down the offer to get more training in, yet when she made to change the topic toward the girl Kana had gotten into a fight, an uneasy feeling settled onto Kana, something that wasn't helped when Gunshin seemed nervous about something, as if she was worried about something and it was for good reason. The grin that had been on Kana's face died an ugly death as Gunshin asked what happened, a hand coming up to rub at her scar, the flesh still rough and oddly indented, as if some of it was still missing, as if her face had been torn in fucking two.

Memories flooded her mind. It was raining, she could still hear the distant roars of thunder and flashes of light in the dark night sky provided by the lightning. It was so cold. She always hated the rain. But she was so hungry and there was some drunk making his way down the streets, it was supposed to be such an easy pick pocket. One that Kana had done so many times without problem before. It was supposed to be easy. Then he grabbed her wrist, the grip was tight and she could feel her bones rub against each other as the man shouted at her. Then she saw it. Just the faintest sliver of light shining along the metal blade of a kunai. She froze. She stopped fighting. She just froze up.

She hated that she froze. She didn't even move as the man threatened to kill her, the cold metal scraped against her throat and all she could do was cry and hold still. Even as he brought it up to her mouth and asked her where that stupid smirk of hers went. She didn't even realize she was smirking when she was trying to rob him. She was just thinking about the food she could buy. The warmth of the restaurant, the comfort of the seating, the deliciousness of a cooked fresh meal. Then a man shouted. And that's when Kana screamed.

Kana's flinched involuntarily, her mind snapping back to the present, her breathing coming out shaky as she blinked away the tears. Gunshin was moving away from her. A shaking hand grabbed her shoulder. She couldn't stop the trembling, she didn't trust her voice to speak any words but she didn't want to be alone. She turned Gunshin toward her and buried her head into Gunshin's shoulder, keeping her eyes shut as she just held onto the girl as if she was the only thing keeping Kana safe right now. "I'm not weak...." She muttered. "I won't freeze again..." She whispered as her voice continued to shake, threatening to give way to the sobs she was fighting back.

WC: 486
TWC: 7,997