Monkeys Can be Perverts [NK, P]

[RP with Konma the monkey]

After a few days of training and after coming back from a successful mission with Navi and Ayama Vretyel decided that he was going to try to summon one of the monkeys today. He had practiced long and hard during the mission but all he got were a whole bunch of half eaten Bananas. But today he as certain that he was going to get a summon of a monkey today. Before he did he thought to himself for a bit:

You don’t know what is going to happen here Vretyel, so keep calm and if you do get a monkey then treat it with respect and honor, I mean, after all he is going to be the race that you are summoning for your life, you start it off right. The first impression is the most important in any relationship, you know that Vretyel.

With that Vretyel concentrated on getting a monkey summon and bit his thumb to get some blood. Then with a fantastic array of power he slammed down on the ground and said the words “Summoning Jutsu”. With that Vretyel saw a puff of smoke come out of the area where he summoned. Then after a few seconds, he heard the words, or at least any word, from what he thought was a monkey.

“What are you doing you dumbwat!” the summoned monkey said.

You did it, you finally got a summon of a monkey, now don’t panic because I am sure that he is going to be highly respected in his community.

“I was just sitting there eating something, probably the best Banana ever and now I am in some stupid forest, who are you.” The monkey yelled. After the smoke was gone Vretyel saw that the monkey was about as big as his book of the Inazumahis.

“Im, Vretyel, Vretyel Ina…” Vretyel tried to say but then he was interrupted.

“Oh my god! Oh my God it’s another kid with a stupid name, look at you, you look like a kid.”

“Well I am only 12 years old.”

“Seriously, I get summoned to a 12 year old, shouldn’t you not be summoning anything and at like some academy or something, playing with some stick.”

“Well I am actually of Jounin…”

“DID I ASK YOU WHAT YOU ‘ACTUALLY WERE’? Tell me, do you know what I was about to get? I thought this was going to be some easy summon, just go out and annoy some brat, but no, now I’m stuck with you.”

“What….”

“WHAT? I’m sorry didn’t know you were some wimp, you sound like a girl.”

“But, who are you?”

“Did I say you could ask me a question? DID I say you could ask me a question, I mean seriously have your balls dropped yet?”

“My what? What balls….”

The Monkey hit Vretyel with a small rock making him stop talking

“Did I break your concentration? You know these things that humans and monkeys have, yeah they are these things called balls, they are right under the place where you pee! Damn it…”

“Well I’m sorry….” The monkey interrupted Vretyel again.

“Wah wah wah wah, that’s all I am hearing here! Vretyel you said, maybe it should be Whine-yel. I am losing a date with Jenma for this! Tell me when the last time you were on a date was?”

“I am twelve!”

“Oh, when I was 3 I had already dated three monkeys, fucked seven, and had two children.”

“Well I am not a monkey…”

“Well of course you are not a monkey!”

“Well there is this one girl, but I don’t know about her, I don’t think she likes me.”

“Oh so you are not going to even try?”

“Well I did tell her that I loved her in a torture chamber.”

“Oh how romantic…. ‘Oh honey I know that we are probably going to lose all our fingers and toes to a torturer but I just want to let you know that I’ve liked for a long time. I love you!’ yeah real smooth of course she doesn’t like you.”

“Well I mean we were in a torture chamber and I thought I was going to die so…”
“Have you told her you loved her after that?”

“Well no… you see..”

“Wow….. I don’t think you have balls at all, from no on Imma call you Vanna, yeah that sounds like you.”

“Oh you mean THOSE balls, of course I have them! Its Vretyel, of the Inazumahi clan, what is your name?”

The monkey rolled his eyes.
“whats it matter to you Vanna?”

“Well I did summon you….”
“Oh you summoned me? Oh you summoned me.”

“Yes.”
“Proper much? Wow nice staff, what is it compensating for, you small penis?”

“HEY! I haven’t even reached puberty yet!”

“And you are a Jounin, well that doesn’t make sense.”

“Well I am pretty strong, and look I summoned you here! Besides I’m powerful, watch.”
Vretyel took his Bo Staff in hand and charged it with lightning. Pointed it to the monkey.
“My name is Vretyel Inazumahi….”

The monkey Yawned, “Oh sorry I thought you were doing something cool. But you do carry a Bo Staff. Which makes you kind of monkey like I guess… and look at the lighting, woah man, you might be able to shock a baby fish to death!”

Vretyel was now getting pissed off at the monkey, so he threw the staff into a nearby rock and completing the Javelin of the Heavens jutsu, shattering the rock.

“Ok, ok Ill admit you have some power, probably just to compensate for the zero power you have in the bedroom.”

“Shut up you asshole. I am a 12 year old human cut me some slack!”

“Ugh, fine whatever, so what am I supposed to be your wingman or something now?”
“I did not ask for you to be my, ‘wingman’”

“Well I am becoming your wingman now, Until you get laid that is.”

“Well what about your date with that other monkey.”

“Eh, she is old news, and besides you are probably going to be summoning me a lot anyways, so whatever. Not only that, the way that you use you bo staff tells me that you might have some use to the monkeys, you seem strong and fast and you carry a Bo Staff, a perfect monkey summoner. my name is Konma, and I am the sun of the Monkey king.”
“Ok, you are still a jerk though Konma, and quite the pervert.”

Konma hopped onto Vretyel’s left shoulder and looked onward. “Trust me, it’s worth it, now tell me about this girl while we get back to your village, from what I can see its Konoha right? Also I don’t think your parents will give me a seat at dinner table, so you are going to get me food from now on ok. That is the deal, I get you girls, you give me food, understand?”

“Well I don’t live with my parents.”

“Just like everyone else these days… ugh I’m hungry. Now tell me about this girl you told me about.”

“Well, her name is Ayama…”

“Say no more! To Ayama we go, plus we can get to know each other a bit more Victor!” He said, pointing to where Konoha was.

“Um, ugh, whatever lets go.”

“So, um, tell me about your clan, I bet it’s stupid…..” Konma said as he scratched his bony head with his small monkey fingers.

“Well actually it’s a long story….” Vretyel chuckled at the monkey, he had a monkey on his shoulder, and he had a monkey on his SHOULDER. One the inside Vretyel was so happy on the inside, picking up his Bo Staff from the shattered rock.

“Oh geez, you need to get out more, you are too stuck up.” Konma sighed, he looked tired and ready to take a nap in all honesty. But for some reason he was still so energetic.”
“You don’t even know me.”

“No trust me, I know your time, you are not the only monkey summon in the world you know.”

“I did not know that.” Vretyel said with amazement.

“Nah, not really, but that’s what I tell all the lady monkeys, ‘yeah, I get around’”
“You need to get out more.”

“Shut up.” The Monkey said, and he crossed his hand and looked with his eyes closed and his chin up.

“You suck.” Konma said, “Lets go get that girl, Andy right”

Vretyel sighed, “No, Ayama, Konma.”

“Yeah that’s my name.”

With that Vretyel rolled his eyes and the two went back to Konoha, although he did not tell him that Ayama did not live in Konoha, or at least he did not know that Ayama lived in Konoha at the time. He was going to use this time to get to know Konma for a while before he was summoned back. He needed to gain trust with the Monkey king before he could even summon him to battle. So that was extremely important.

At least it was a start, Vretyel thought. I mean I summoned the son of the monkey king for my first summon, so it’s a start.

[Exit, 1532/1500 words of RP with one summon (Konma) completed]

Approved for the lols