Ok, lets do this? I guess (genin exam)

Matteo would stumble into the genin exam at the ninja academy. He went drinking just before, and managed to already get drunk. Hopefully, he was able to do the exams anyway. He would sit down in the chair, waiting in line. It would be quite obvious to anyone looking at Matteo that he was drunk. He would start to doze off as he would wait for his name to get called.

When his name would get called, Matteo would stumble into the room.

(requesting proctor)

Valen Akari was sitting within the classroom, calling names one by one to test each student for potential genin rank. He called name after name, and one by the one the genin hopefuls would either pass and move onto becoming shinobi, or fail and try again when they were ready. Currently, the ashen haired kage was testing an individual by the name of Shinji. The young man was showcasing his clone and transformation techniques for the man who would be his leader should he pass and Valen watched with a critical eye. “Good transformation, good clone. Can you do any other ninjutsu by chance or did you just spend your time in the academy just doing exactly what the instructors told you?” The gray eyed man would ask, eyebrow raised in curiosity as the student froze in place at the question. “I-I don’t know any other jutsu sir.” He would say to which Valen would sigh. “Well, the requirements only require the two you showed me. However I would most definitely work harder if I were you. You know longer have a classroom teacher to push you along.” He would say before tossing him one of the star engraved headbands on the desk in front of him. “Let’s see, who’s next..Matteo Moldu!” He would call out, clearly and loudly for anyone listening to respond. What came next did not amuse him. 

A drunk 

Not just any drunk, but a twelve year old drunk. This young man thought he could stumble into his genin exam, clearly having been drinking, and expected to get a headband? “I see you’ve begun celebrating early.” He would say once the boy stood still, if he even did. Valen would throw a kunai across the room, the blade aimed perfectly to graze the boys cheek, the metallic blade being little more than a flash of light across the room as he threw it. The blade would land into the wall behind the boy with a strong ‘thunk’ that would resonate throughout the room. The motion was intended to help ‘sober the boy up’ for his exam. Because if he didn’t do so quickly Valen doubted this would last very long. Should Matteo not sit still long enough for the kunai to be a safe option, as if throwing a knife at someone could ever truly be considered as such, then he would utilize a genjutsu. False Surroundings to be specific, his chakra would enter into the boy, the room was the exact dimensions for the jutsu too. Twenty meters wide, by 20 meters long, it was a classroom after all. The surrounding area to Matteo would change to that of a gallows, with him moving toward it at a steady pace, an empty bottle in his hand to signify his drinking leading him toward an early and unnatural death. If the boy was going to come to his exam drunk, he’d made it harder. Valen’s voice would echo throughout the genjutsu to which if Matteo managed to escape from, Valen would find mildly impressive considering the preteens inebriation. “Now then, proceed to perform the clone and transformation jutsu, and while you’re at it, any other ninjutsu you might know.” The man would order, giving the boy his laundry list of things to do before being able to leave there a genin.

WC: 555

[800 words Mits, go!]

Matteo stumbled into the genin exam drunk. He did not actually expect that Valen Akari, the hogokage was even going to be in the room. Valen was obviously not pleased to see a drunk person, and would say, “I see you have been celebrating early.” Matteo would, hick up, a couple times, and then say in a rather obnoxiously loud voice, “Yeaaaaah, weeellll, I-i weeent partying before this, and-and almost f-f-orgot-t I-I was doinggg thisss.”

If the kunai was thrown, it would graze Matteo’s cheek. It would surprise him so much, that he would immediately fall on the floor. He would get up and then say, “Whhhoooaaaa, youououou almost killed-d-d m-me. ”

If the genjutsu was cast, Matteo would suddenly realize, not at all understanding the implications of what Valen Akari was doing, “I-i guesssss th-that I a-m susup-pozed toooo g-et kikillllled for thissss? Did-did nnnot knnnnowwww th-that drinkingking wawas a-a crime hereeee.”

Either way, eventually, Matteo would realize that he was still in the genin exams, and that he was wasting all this time. Still in the very loud and obnoxious voice, “Sssooorrryyy. I-i w-wwill d-d-do t-the f-f-f-irst tech-ch-nique. Thth-is ii-sss t-the uh-uh a-a-rt oooffff, tr-an-fformmatsionnss.”

Matteo would kind of do the dog, boar ram seals, albeit with plenty of shaking and wobbling in between the hand seals. Matteo would think about what he would want to turn into, and instead of turning into a much less disheveled version of Matteo. This one would at least not look drunk, it would look more like he was just doing his normal business. He would obviously still be drunk. That would not end until at least a little bit later.

Matteo would look around, looking less disheveled, would say, “I-i h-hope th-at ‘his i-s gg--od.” He was probably still going to be loud kind of no matter whatever happened for a bit, although he did suddenly get worried, because his stomach started to hurt.

Matteo would look around, and kind of see a bucket at the side of the room. He thought, that was going to be useful. Perhaps, some of the way too much beer that was drank earlier was going into the bucket, orally. He would keep this in mind as he would then come towards the next technique.

“I-i ththink ththat, theeee othother techchnnnique wwas ththe clone oonnee.” Matteo would first turn back into his messy look. He would try to remember what the heck the hand seals were for this clone technique. Eventually, he would clumsily do the ram, snake and then tiger hand seals, and then he would manage to make 1 clone that looked equally disheveled, and was also equally messy looking. Matteo would hopefully have kind of passed the exams, despite his rather awful appearance. “d-did, y-ou wwannttt m-me t-t-o s-sh-ow aann-y o-ther ttecchniquesss?” Matteo would then suddenly feel an even stronger stomach heave. HE knew what was coming despite being drunk. He would hope that somehow this guy would be able to put up with what was coming.

(slightly graphic scene coming)
Matteo would stumble over to the bucket, still with the clone, lean over, and make a sound that could only be compared to, “RALPH.” He would continue to lean over the bucket, as he knew that the liquid and solid content was coming soon. Hopefully, this would not make a mess. He hoped to god, that he would not have to go and clean this future horid mess up.

Matteo would suddenly let the first onslaught of chunky yellow liquid out. It would fortunately not splash everywhere, it would be relatively well contained in the bucket. A foul smell of overly fermented beer, with chunks of what used to be perhaps noodles, and bits of meat and vegetable, with an accompanyment of mucus.

He would spit into the bucket, clearing his mouth of that foul liquid. This would not help much, as the second and final onslaught would reach the bucket. This time, the same kind of chunky and dark yellow liquid would come out, and would proceed to continue to stream into the bucket.”

(Graphic scene over)

Matteo would then finish spitting, he fortunately did not make a mess, it all managed to land in that big bucket. He hoped that Valen Akari was not upset, probably to no avail. Matteo would start to sober up a bit, and would start talking in a less obnoxious and slightly less loud voice, “Sorrrryyy, I hope that was not too bad.” He would then hopefully get the headband, but Matteo hopefully after the exam, pass or fail leave a note next to the bucket saying, “Sorry about this.” Matteo would hopefully have passed the exams. (803 words)

A raised eyebrow as the man the man seemed to miss the undertone of the genjutsu would greet the twelve year olds response. He should’ve expected the intoxication would prevent the preteen from understanding. A loud sigh would escape his lips as the boy managed a transformation to make himself look sober and then a single disheveled clone. What came next however was, unpleasant to say the least. Valen would shake his head, not intending to let this kind of thing slide before Matteo finished puking into a nearby bucket that was used in case anyone wanted to test a weak water jutsu. It would at least seem the boy had sobered up a little, good, he might understand the next part. “You know, as the leader of the shinobi forces I have absolute say in what happens to you. I could for example, give you this headband, pass you, and then kill you for drinking illegally and showing that you have no self control, which would in fact be a danger to fellow shinobi while on a mission. Now, I won’t do that of course.” He would say, trying to get his point across carefully, speaking slowly and articulately to the boy to make sure he listened. “However, I won’t give you this headband. You don’t pass your exams. If you can’t even come to something as a genin exam without being piss drunk then you have no place in my forces. I will however give you the opportunity to sober up, and try again another day. Now go, and take the bucket with you.” He would say, making an X next to Matteo’s name to showcase he had not passed the exams. 

Exit

WC: 284
TWC: 839

[Sorry bud, I can't justify passing you IC because Valen wouldn't at all. You can use all your WC from this thread for stats and E rank Jutsu, etc. Post up another exam when you're ready and I'll proctor it for you]

Well, at least he knew what he had to do, he did not expect to fail the exams, but to be fair, it was slightly deserved. Matteo would get the bucket, and spend about half an hour in the bathroom pouring the contents into the toilet. Valen did not ask to get the bucket back, and it was hard to blame him. It was pretty likely that the bucket was damaged beyond repair, and the smell was probably never ever going to go away. Matteo would eventually manage to leave after a lot of rinsing and spitting, and another couple heaves.

Fortunately, Matteo was granted the opportunity to come back, although not drunk. Matteo decided next time, he could save the drinking, until after the genin exams. There was no way, that Matteo would just give up drinking like that.

(exit, 1002 words, +5 stats, learning http://naruto-role-play-rpg.forumotion.com/t22313-genjutsu-release, and http://naruto-role-play-rpg.forumotion.com/t22311-tree-climbing-surface-walking-technique)

(Also, I think I will do the next one slightly more normally?)

Oh, all 839 of my words towards Light of Aetherius putting it at 3260

lol

Approved.