They Told me to (Village Takeover)

Yasuki let out a long stretch as she ducked under the top of the doorframe leading into the office. Her cigarette freshly lit and filling the room up with an acrid smell. This ninja business was a piece of cake. She's trashed every 10 year old academy student she'd fought so far. If become a ninja was that easy then becoming Hokage was going to be a walk in the park.

Maybe the problem was that all the Hokage's up until now were a bunch of warriors. Dudes with their hearts in the right place, but no brains upstairs. What this dump needed was a real business minded matron to lead it forward. She had a ten point plan to turn this village into an economic powerhouse. A system that would maximize the returns of the ninja missions, and decrease costs. The Ninja academy was going to franchise. Konoha Ninja Academy East. Within five years she had plans for twenty more around the world. They'd trademark ninjas! They'd become the gold standard of the ninja world. Then anyone who didn't use their ninjas were going to have to pay dearly... in considerations!

It was how she turned around The House of The Water lilies, and it was going to be how she was going to turn around this place.

She threw herself down on the Hokage's seat and took a load off. Uncomfortable. Crappy material. She made a mental note to get a new one, an executive one. She placed her finger on the intercom. "Hey secretary. Ya it's Yasuki Terumi. Can I get a bottle of Sake, and a few glasses. Imma bout to have a few interviews and want to make sure my guests are well taken care of. She unplugged the thing before the secretary could object. 

She considered her life, and realized that though she'd brushed all those tweens in a fight at the academy she still didn't know any jutsu! That wasn't going to be any good. The Ninja league was a real boysclub and she needed to prove that she could hang. So she took out her instructional booklet. "Clone Jutsu eh?" She idly made hand signs, and played around with her chkara hoping to produce a clone of her self. This chakra stuff wasn't so hard! It was a wonder why the ninja in this village thought so much of herself. 

But she liked that sort of thinking. There were two types of people in this world, sheep and sharks. And her village was filled with sharks.

(TWC: 424. Claiming two stats. Words towards Clone Jutsu, and I'll go ahead and grab hokage. Exit)

One does not simply walk into the Hokage's office.

Even with the Hokage away in Sunagakure, the building that housed said office never slept. Lights shone from the windows at all hours of the day and night telling of people working their hardest to keep the village running. Occasionally, one might hear the soft shuffling of papers or the dulcet tones of hushed voices issuing from the side rooms, but nothing more than that. Konohagakure's central administration building was a model of efficiency and industrious spirit.

So, as you might imagine, a voice identifying itself over the intercom as Yasuki Terumi and coming from what could only be the absent Hokage's office raised some suspicions. As was protocol when facing a security concern the anbu were dispatched. On this day fortune smiled on Konohagakure's black ops for they already had an agent in the building, what luck.

Ashi Inuzuka and her companion Chairomaru had been trying to sort out the last details of a recent mission report when the tattoo on her back burned as it so often did. In an instant, the disembodied voice of Captain Eagle filled her head. He explained the situation and more importantly who the target was. As per the classical rules of engagement, one must know their enemy, which wasn't too hard if they had a name, especially a name already in the village database.

Yasuki Terumi of the Leaf.

Lacking her anbu attire did not much bother the Inuzuka and after reassuring the shaken secretary who, as he was faint of heart, had not dared go into the office for fear of a threat, she proceeded to the familiar office. The halls leading up to the office were decked out with elegant wood panels that allowed the dull echo of the woman's footsteps to jump down the hall before her. She only stopped upon coming to the door behind which the Hokage normally sat.

Glancing down at Chai who'd followed her this far she commanded him to sit with a half-hearted wave. She then rapped three times on the door. In matters such as these, it was best not to take people by surprise or rush them. After all, Ashi was but a distraction; there were more than a few ways into the Hokage's office and her fellow operatives would have those covered ready to act if need be.

[Interrupting the aforementioned claim etc etc etc]

Yasuki was getting anxious and made a mental note to fire the secretary and to hire someone competent. It would be so bad if there as something mildly drinkable in this place, but the shelves were weighed down heavily with swill, vinegar, and rubbing alcohol. A complete disgrace. This was the kage's room and they didn't have it stocked with the good stuff? No wonder this village had gone to pot, they needed her more than they knew. Luckily Yasuki always kept a flask of bourbon tucked away in her kimono and poured enough to fill two cups. One for her, and one for the anbu agent who was doubtlessly on their way.

*knock knock knock*

Yasuki tightened her dark blue kimono, and sat up straight. She was the hokage now appearances were everything. No one would respect her if she looked a mess or if she served cheap liquor. She looked to the dead cigarette laying on the table and wondered if she wanted to light up another. Power play, no player play? Hard to decide. Not yet.

Rather she sat back and called. "Enter" and was immediately offended, by the shinobi who entered. "Sorry. Excuse me sorry. Hold your piece for just a second. Are you anbu? Why are you not wearing your armor? A stranger walks in and you don't have the pride to dress correctly?" She was going to.be sick. "Do you deal with clients dressed like that?" Good grief. Who would hire ninja from a village permanently on casual Friday?If you're not anbu I'm sorry for unloading on you, but the person how comes after you is fired. Our elite forces should be here already so sorry for assuming. If you're my secretary you're fired. Send a letter to my lawyer and we'll talk severance package."

(No phone sorry for typo's"

Today was a day like any other. The eldest child was coming to check on his father, who he still assumed to be in the village. It had been a while since the grizzled old man had promised his son some training so today he was going to cash in on it. So he busted a stroll to the Hokage Building, wearing a sleeveless vest that showed off every scar upon his upper torso minus those under the clothing, black pants and no shoes. To the left of his hip sat a single blade, bandaged and sheath but that was about ...oh! Did it mention that his hair was finally long, messy and black? Yep.

So the boy strolled into the office all chill and the like waving to the secretary before up the stairs he went and...Uh..Something was off here. In this office was two people, none of which he recognized by signature so what he did do? His fist would collide with the wall just to the left of the office for a moment, causing it to crack...crack...boom. The wall would fall to the sides as he stood on the rubble and looked at the two, more specifically the woman in his dad's chair," Who the fuck are you? The fuck are you doing in the Hokage's chair...And o.o You seem familiar kind of,"the last bit pointed toward Ashi and her dog, but...his eyes kind of stayed on the woman in the chair.

-1 Ap for being a badass

Ashi hated talkers.

'Talkers' was, of course, the trade term for interrogation subjects with the unique skill of talking a whole lot without saying anything. Often they'd talk themselves in circles saying the same thing over and over again. Truthfully, these types of people gave even Ashi, the well-practiced anbu, a headache, because, in the end, there are situations talking won't get you out of.

With Chai to her left and the door closing soundlessly two steps behind her, the Inuzuka found herself greeted by a barrage of criticism that could be summed up in one phrase, 'Get out'. Lesser people would have no doubt broken under such words. Ashi, however, did not flinch in the face of them and simply allowed the woman to speak. See, the trick with talkers is to let them talk.

And yes, dear reader, this was a situation in which no amount of talking would help the kimono-clad woman.

"Yasuki Terumi," Ashi's tone matched the one that the misbehaving academy students under her once knew all too well. "I will ask that you come with—"

She both heard and felt it before she saw it: the first strike, the second strike, and the third which sent the wall to her right inwards in a shower of debris. Turning her face away from the mass of plaster, wood, and metal, Ashi's whole body tensed, ready for a fight. Were there two of them?

As the rain of debris settled, the older woman's gaze flicked towards the newcomer. Was he a friend or a foe? Well, his words indicated friend. A rude friend, but a friend nonetheless. Perhaps she should've left Chai in the hallway to ward off any unwanted company. Oh well, next time.

Returning her attention to the woman who Chai had never looked away from, Ashi's eyes narrowed ever so slightly. As it turned out the newcomer had asked just the question on the anbu's mind. Talkers tended towards hanging themselves, so she remained silent, waiting for an answer.

(Big talk for a guy who takes eight paragraphs to say that he walks in and does nothing.)

Woooooooow not much going on behind those eyes was there? Yasuki instantly noticed the girl shut down during her well placed, and reasoned critiques. Her eyes were dull, listless, uncomprehending, like a gold fish. Or one of those starfish that you put googly eyes on. Ugh, and a dog. Gag me. There was going to have to be some serious crack downs around this place, if this was their first responder. First face people see of the leaf village was the dullard, in a hot topic outfit. Unacceptable.

Then she had that gall to ignore her? Woof. No wonder the last hokage ran away if this was who he was dealing with in and out. Rather than interact with Yasuki in any meaningful way, she just started to mumble something in an affected voice.

Classic. One of those 'scarcity creates value' approaches to conversation. Ineffective but at least it showed she wasn't a complete lost cause when it came to civil conversation.

Speaking of lost causes.

That wall blew right open. Sending plaster everywhere. Most unexpected. Security around this place was lousy if she was able to just walk in here and stake her claim, then a wall explodes... unless. Anbu it must be. Either way Yasuki picked a chunk of plaster out of her cup, and swigged it down. She was going to need to be a little looser if this woman was any indication of what it was like to deal with an average ninja.

She just stared boredly at the wall of dust and plaster setting around the room. This was why The House of The Water lilies had paper walls. Because Ninjas had inferiority issues, and for some reason walls helped alleviate them. Much quicker and cheaper, to replace a paper panel, than to retool a wall. That much was for sure.

Oh good god. This idiot wasn't even wearing shoes! Might as well bring a dog in too! 

So far the order of operation was:
1: Fire the secretary
2: Put this woman in some public speaking classes
3: Charge this guy for the damages to the wall
4: Discuss a mandatory dress code for on duty ninjas

She worried that she'd just signed up for a job that asked she spin gold out of wool. Then the door buster started asking his own questions, and because she was a reasonable human being she answered them. "Yasuki Terumi. Applying for Hokage. I own a geisha house on 73rd, and a bar on main street. You might have seen me there."

Answer your clients questions calmly and precisely. A geisha knows not to let the emotions on her client affect her. In the World of the Willows a branch must bend in the wind.

The girl she actually needed to hear talk before Yasuki decided on a Taikomochi that suited her, but she felt like she had a good idea. Tamori was great with the quiet ones. The boy over there? Definitely wouldn't make it past the interview process for her lilies. Must have been the bar where they'd met. First Rule of finding a match for a client: No one violent.

"Anyway I was having a conversation with this young lady. I hope you wouldn't mind stepping out for a second for us to finish up. Unless she's willing to step outside instead. The order isn't terribly important to me, but I would like these meetings to be organized." Each word calm, and controlled. Wistful and light. If you want a client to relax and be at ease, you must lead the way. Be the grand of sand around which a pearl may form.

...Was she serious? If the atmosphere around the four wasn't telling him then her face was and he...Was not too happy about this. Sure his father had been gone for a moment or two depending on your measurements of time and what not but he was no means deserting the village.

As a point he stepped into the office, his place slow and in tune before stopping in front of the desk, both hands firmly placed on the wooden object as he just stared at her," Out of my dad's chair...Now or you'll be removed. Don't know what kind of humor you have to be doing this, but be serious here," couldn't place his tone so we'll go with slightly annoyed combined with confusion.

So as it stood Kasuga was doing all of the talking for the moment until Ashi spoke up which meant this'll" So you've probably got a minute or two before I remove your delicate ass out of the chair. Or and I can't stress this enough you just stand and walk out, and maybe not have her do something to you," yup. That's how you talk to a woman. Threaten and...Well threaten some more.

[mfw this thread becomes an upvote/downvote war]

Spoiler:

There is a reason the Konoha Black Ops has designated negotiators. In Ashi's case, the reason had come bursting through a wall. Shinobi, as a general rule, were instruments of war, not diplomacy. As such, they did not often understand the delicate balance that had to be struck in said negotiations. There was a carrot and stick aspect to the whole ordeal or, as Ashi enjoyed employing, big stick and smaller stick.

Clearing her throat, the Inuzuka hoped to bring attention back to herself after the male had finished speaking.

"If I might interject here," her voice remained steady and even, holding an edge of authority. "What my crude companion here is trying to say is this: there is an order to things in Konohagakure."

She took a breath that amounted to more of a sigh.

"We are not like Kirigakure or Kumogakure," her disdain for the village hidden in the clouds shone through as she almost spat its title. "Transfers of power do not happen here via hostile takeovers. If you wish to discuss the matter of power you will do so with the current Hokage when he returns."

Truthfully, Ashi respected the woman behind the desk, she had guts. And while the Inuzuka did enjoy her drink she had never stepped foot in the woman's establishment—it was far too fancy for her. That said, the geisha house on 73rd did have an excellent reputation; Ashi just preferred a dark place to drink away her sorrows as opposed to a well-lit paper house. Alas, such details could not be taken into account in the current matter.

"As for our current situation," she walked up so she stood to the left of the male as Chai moved to his right. "You have two options, you spend a night in the drunk tank."

She half nodded at the alcohol; one couldn't fool an Inuzuka's nose.

"Or you maintain your position and you will be charged with treason after which all your possessions and property will be forfeited to the village. The choice, of course, is yours."

To accent her point the older woman flashed a toothy grin revealing the long canines that her clan so cherished.

Yasuki was actually getting quite the deal. Perhaps three years ago a certain operative Raven and Kitsune would've already had her head on a pike. Konohagakure, however, had changed since then with an eye to peace. Some anbu complained about the shift, but Ashi hadn't minded. Violence, in her opinion, wasn't always the answer.

Now, the flamboyant woman in blue could decide her fate. Whatever choice made she would no doubt get her an audience with the Hokage. However, which choice she made would define the nature of said audience. Would it be a one-on-one in this very office or would it be before a legal tribunal?

Only time would tell.

(I never down vote in my own topics, that's not classy.)

Yasuki was being so civil, what was with all this hostility? Ooooh the hokage was his dad. Well that made sense. Yasuki recognized a fellow spoiled child, and cut him some slack. Certainly not a classy way to go about doing business, but Yasuki recalled the days before her trust fund had been cut... she used to weigh a lot more. It was unfortunate that he was threatening her with violence, because those scars didn't look like they came cheaply. And here she was without her bouncers. Alrighty she could cave in and look like wimp, or hold her position and get beat up. What did she usually do when thugs came in to shake her down? Right, her bouncers. It was all coming down to that. Oh well next time she'll remember to bring some muscles. Living was the better part of valor, or something like that. Looks like she was going to have to cave in and...

"...you have two options..." Oh thank god a settlement. Now she could keep her pride, and appear to be in control of the situation. Everything was turning up Yasuki! Also it was turning out that the woman had a bit more processing power in her cpu than originally expected. Not enough to recognized a good thing when it happens, but hey! Brainwashed guards is brainwashed guards.

Of course that matter about talking with the current hokage was a bit of hogwash, but there are certain lies you have to accept when a dude in a tank-top looks like he's ready to kill you.

Could she be charged for treason? Probably not she wasn't a genin yet, and therefore not licensed, or beholden to laws concerning military coups, but again when someone offers you a way take it.

"Oh trying to discredit a political opponent by having them discredited as a drunk? Amateur approach, but only half as damning as being labeled a traitor. A night in the drunk tank it is! It'll be nice to see some of my clients outside of a business environment."

It was then that the Yasuki at the desk burst into a puff of smoke, and the lamp in the back right corner burst into smoke, revealing the real yasuki!

Misdirection! The Ninja's most powerful tool, or so she'd heard in her academy class for ten year olds. Pretty tight huh?

Say hello to the next hokage guys.

(Twc 1719)
Exit
8 stats
Imma claim Clone tech, aaaand transformation
I won't claim hokage, but I think it's pretty clear I earned it.

(Alrighty, I'm out buh bye!)