Co-Workers in the Monkey Clan

"Monkeys," Issei repeated flatly. " They hired... monkeys."

The hospital administrator at least had the grace to look embarrassed on behalf of his colleagues. "They came highly recommended," he said gruffly, clearing his throat with a loud 'harumph'. The Yuki scion's brows rose and he simply looked at his boss, askance - trying desperately to remain professional in what had to have been the least professional set of circumstances in which he'd found himself while employed at this medical facility. What's more - given his standing as a medical researcher - this transition struck him as wholly inconsistent with the ethics review board's research standards.

"If I may be so bold," the physician said finally, a faint smile ghosting across his features. "Might I ask whether this was an experiment of some kind... or if these monkeys were onboarded through the usual HR processes?" The portly administrator sniffed, running a hand through his prodigious beard. Administrator Saito was quite proud of the snowy locks that flowed from his jawline. He'd recently been asked to pose as a model for portraits of some long-dead philosopher or other from the Cha no Kumi - a fact that he wasn't about to let his peers and co-workers forget this soon.

"I don't feel," Saito said finally. "That you're treating this situation with the gravity that it warrants." He steepled his fingers over his gut in an effort to portray an imposing, scholarly demeanor. In Issei's opinion, the man met with mixed success - given how pudgy said gut was, and how the administrator had sat just a little too close to the edge of his desk to easily conceal that fact. "My apologies, sir," the Yuki scion said simply, straightening - hands slipping behind his back in a fashion vaguely reminiscent of his time with the camp surgeons when Xyxer marched on Konohagakure.

"Now," the administrator said, the word replete with a hint of satisfaction. The dark-haired physician had never figured his boss for a petty powermonger... but then, perhaps he was only trying to retain the shreds of his dignity while explaining a distinctly undignified situation to a subordinate. "Was there a purpose behind that question, or was it asked solely out of disrespect?" Issei's eye twitched. In all fairness, the administrator wasn't that far off the mark - much to the dark-haired physician's internal chagrin. He hadn't intended to snap at his boss... but stress from the past few  missions was somewhat trying.

And now, here he was - receiving yet another one.

"As I understand it, sir," the Yuki scion began quietly. "The objective is to confirm or disprove the travel of our... co-workers... to and from one of the small islands off the main archipelago. Is that accurate?" Saito eyed the researcher suspiciously, but eventually nodded. "I am unlikely to be permitted access to either experimental data or personnel records related to these co-workers, given information security measures and a lack of need to know. Is this also accurate?" The administrator snorted. "You know it is, Yuki. Would you just... get on with it?"

Issei took a calming breath before continuing. He was not going to lose his job - his actual job - over some kami-blasted monkeys. "There are only so many ways to get out of the medical district," he observed carefully. "Some are far more complex than others. Depending on the relative level of our co-workers intelligence, some of those ways may be reasonably excluded from the investigation. In the absence of reliable data, I must rely on secondary indicators - a practice that you, yourself, are well-versed in. The circumstances of our co-workers on-boarding constitute one such indicator." There, he'd come out with it.

Saito looked somewhat impressed, despite himself. "That's... a fair point, Yuki." The hefty man leaned back in his chair, eyes narrowed thoughtfully. "What other indicators would you consider... relevant... to this situation?" Issei's eyes flicked upward for several heartbeats as he considered the question. It was certainly a valid one - if unexpected - at this juncture in the conversation. "Well, sir... do you have a map?" The administrator frowned, then shook his head and thumbed a button on his office intercom. "Minami, do we still have those maps from the last emegency management planning session... oh, must've been... what, three weeks ago?"

A moment later, the small metallic box crackled in reply. "...yyyyeeeeees. Yes, Dad. I believe we do. Would you like me to send them up to your office?" Saito nodded in satisfaction. "That would be lovely, thank you," he replied simply, before releasing the button. Issei was surprised, despite himself. He hadn't realized that Minami was Saito's daughter - though it certainly explained how unwilling he'd been to loan her out to other physicians for secretarial duties. To be frank, the Yuki scion couldn't say he'd blame the man, now that he knew that was the case. Minami could be... somewhat innocent.

An awkward fifteen minutes of small talk later, a series of maps were spread over the small table near the entrance to the hospital's administration office. Issei and Saito leaned over them, eying them with the scrutiny one would usually associate only with master surveyors and aspiring cartographers. "The subjects that are disappearing from the medical district, yes?" The dark-haired physician tapped the associated island meaningfully. The administrator nodded seriously. "Now, if that remains the case, there is only so far one can travel - unassisted by jutsu, which R&D assures us they aren't capable of using - between their shifts. How far?"

Saito pursed his lips, nodding to himself as he considered the map for several moments. "I'm following," he affirmed carefully. Issei continued. "With an estimate of the answer, an area of prospective influence could be drawn." The dark-haired physician drew his fingertip in a small circle around the island. "Representing the maximum unassisted distance they can travel. Wherever it is that they're going - if the underlying assumptions are correct - is highly to be within this circle. Even if R&D is wrong and some of them can use jutsu, the chakra expenditure would result in accumulating fatigue as they re-used movement techniques."

Another slow nod from the administrator. "Given that R&D specified... how'd they phrase it... 'one of the small islands off the main archipelago'," Issei continued, eyes narrowed as he swept his gaze across one of the smaller maps. "The main islands associated with each district can be excluded, as can the open waters of the sea-lanes. The areas that remain are potential sites for the monkeys' destination, presuming that they are all going toward the same place." The physician glanced toward his boss in an inquiring fashion. "R&D said that the monkeys were 'chakra-enhanced'. Were any of our people consultants?"

Saito straightened, humming softly - a low and resonant sound that echoed pleasantly in the chest. "Perhaps," he said finally. "I'll see what I can do, but it'll take a few days. In the meantime, what do you need to make this go away as quickly as possible?" The dark-haired researcher stretched to his full height with a wince, buying himself time to consider before essaying a reply. "Presuming that we're focusing on our monkeys... unhindered access to the hospital's camera logs, time cards, and an answer to how far they're likely to get unassisted. Get me that... then, I can sort this."


Issei ran his palm down one side of his face, blinking tiredly in the harsh, blue light of the monitor bank. Saito was clearly invested in making this problem go away. The man had not only arranged access to both the cameras and personnel time sheets - with 'view only' permissions, of course - but had given the dark-haired physician an extended leave of absence until such a time as the mission was completed. It was reasonable, given the public relations nightmare that would ensue if it was generally known that the medical testing department had been involved in this whole 'monkey' business.

Over the past week, he'd analyzed upwards of three months' worth of camera footage that covered the monkeys' arrival to - and departure from - the hospital. Although the primates worked all three shifts, their movements before and after shift occurred almost exclusively within an hour window of the performance period shown on their time cards. This meant that, rather than flipping through three months' worth of camera footage, the dark-haired physician could narrow it down to roughly six hours per day. A quarter of three months' worth of footage was far more workable than trying to assess the entire camera log.

By and large, the monkeys had departed east upon taking their leave of the hospital. According to the head of the medical testing department, the more advanced creatures had boasted speeds of up to sixty units under experimental conditions... but the majority of the primates demonstrated athleticism rated between twenty and thirty units. Some small part of Issei's soul sighed in relief. So long as he wasn't assailed by those 'advanced creatures' that had the medical testing department so enamored, the dexterity honed during his time at the Academy should prove sufficient to outdistance them. The physician was grateful for small blessings.

To the east of the hospital lay a series of piers that were - as best he could tell - used for little more than supply runs to and from the medical district. It was reasonable to assume that the monkeys could stow away a-board one of the vessels and make use of their regular schedule for reliable transport to the outer islands. It was a brutal commute, to be sure, but they hadn't unionized insofar as the medical testing department was aware. Which... wasn't terribly reassuring, if Issei was being perfectly honest. How many supply ships have routes near those islands?


Three days later, the dark-haired physician had his answer.

Four.

Precisely four supply ships worked the shipping lanes which strayed close to the smaller islands of the archipelago. Of those four vessels, only one actually docked at an island on a daily basis. The cargo? Wouldn't you know it - bananas. The clever little rogues had made their home on an island that was host to a pair of banana plantations. In hindsight, it was certainly a reasonable place for a group of genetically-engineered primates to set up shop. The ship's schedule matched the timeline he'd patched together, too. Now, he'd try to explain.

The medical conference room at Kirigakure General Hospital was modeled after the traditional islander fashion - bamboo furniture, tea service on the side table, and a floor of polished teak. At the center of the space was the conference table - a hardwood monstrosity with room for fourteen chairs, including the ends. Every seat but one was now filled, with the empty space at the foot of the table taken up by a slightly-nervous Issei and a large whiteboard. A projector hung down from the ceiling, a sign of the times. He'd been worried about not preparing transparencies to present his findings.

The physician cleared his throat upon seeing the nod from the board chairman, spreading his hands as though to welcome the gathering. "Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. I am Issei Yuki - a genin of the Hidden Mist and a medical researcher, here at Kirigakure General. I undertook the tracking writ jointly issued by the hospital and Kirigakure Research and Development - hereafter referred to as 'Kirigakure R&D'. Please direct your attention to the agenda on page two of your packets, and we'll get started..." This was not his first conference presentation, so to speak, but it was his first presentation before the board.


"...therefore," the Yuki scion concluded firmly. "The data suggests that the research subjects associated with Project X749E-320 are traveling to the island in grid A4 of the archipelago map. The manifest of the Kisamaki, complaints regarding damaged cargo, and the vessel's scheduled routes indicate that it is likely the primary means of transportation to and from the subjects' destination. Further confirmation may be acquired through short-term monitoring of key areas for subject activity - including the Kisamaki's ports of call on the plantation island and the medical district. Pending any questions, this concludes my brief." He thought it had gone rather well.

Silence.

Spoiler:

"The kami-blasted things unionized!"

Saito, the hospital administrator, was utterly infuriated. His jowls shuddered with every violent wave of his arms as he paced back and forth in his office. A dark-haired physician sat at a small table near the door, sipping a small mug of tea. The bags under his eyes suggested that he'd gone with too little sleep for far longer than was explicitly healthy. Even so, the Yuki scion wasn't so far gone as to resort to coffee - ghastly stuff, that, even if his colleagues seemed to thrive on the stuff. It was looking like a long day.

"They actually sent a delegation to the hospital to deliver their demands! Tried to get me - me, Manjiro Saito - to negotiate with them like... like..." The portly administrator sputtered, waving his hand about as though trying to pull the word from thin air. "...they were human?" Issei supplied softly, availing himself of another small sip of his tea as he waited for his  boss to tire himself out. He'd thought that he wasn't in Saito's good books, but - apparently - getting rid of the last monkey problem had earned him some credibility. Or at least made him the go-to person this time.

"Exactly!" Saito bellowed, whirling and pointing a pudgy finger toward the dark-haired physician. "Like they were human!" With a heaving sigh, the administrator collapsed into the chair behind his desk - wearily kneading his temples. The Yuki scion waited for a few heartbeats before giving voice to his thoughts. "To be clear, R&D is looking for... the location of their 'hideout' - nothing else, is that correct?" Saito nodded, the gesture accompanied by low muttering that sounded somewhat deprecatory toward the genetic heritage of primates. "In that case, have you considered accepting a meeting under the condition that it be under their roof?"

The administrator gave a loud 'harumph' at the very notion. "The sheer cheek! As if I'd set foot on their blasted island, even if I was inclined to lower myself to have a chat with some jumped-up monkeys. Besides, what good would that do?" Issei briefly closed his eyes, counted silently to ten, then offered the man a faint smile. "Well, if you meet at their 'hideout', then I imagine you could arrange to get the information that R&D is looking for. Though - if I may be so bold - to what end does R&D want their location? I suspect they're well-defended."

"How would I know?" Saito replied irritably, continuing to massage his temples. "Besides, all I get paid to do is look after the hospital. The hair-pulling situations that come up are your responsibility." He pointed toward Issei with two fingers. "Comes with that headband thing they gave you when you finally bucked up and graduated the Academy - or so I'm told." The dark-haired physician felt his muscles tense and - just before he was about to stand - forced himself back into a seated position. Think of the tea, he thought to himself. It'd be a waste of tea. Can't waste the tea.

After a few moments, Issei trusted himself to speak without verbally ripping into the man who signed his paychecks. Mostly. "Am I to take it that I am tasked with handling this 'monkey' business once again?" Something told him he'd regret this decision. The administrator brightened almost immediately. "Ah, volunteering are we? Well, I suppose I don't have it in my heart to stand in the way of such a bright prospect's advancement through the shinobi ranks. I won't object, so long as you keep up with your obligations here at the hospital." The physician's eye twitched. ...is the man insane?

"I am precluded," the dark-haired man said softly. "From operating on a pro bono basis, by my moral standards and per the ethical guidelines that prevent village shinobi from advertising their services as a freelancer. Pro bono work is construed as self-aggrandisement. Such arrogance is... frowned upon... in Kirigakure no Sato, as I'm sure you are aware." The administrator's smile slipped slightly and he sighed. "You're no fun, Yuki - you know that?" Issei's portly boss shook his head in something vaguely resembling admonishment. "Here." Saito tossed a scroll on the table. With a glance, the Yuki scion knew what it was.

"And this is...?" Issei inquired, maintaining his studied calm. He knew quite well that such scrolls contained writs from the village which directed associated shinobi to perform certain tasks. But he wasn't about to get caught in the same 'trap' that Saito had just tried to pull. The physican would get his leave, even if doing so called for seeing through such distasteful games as that which the administrator was evidently playing. "It's a bloody mission scroll, Yuki - what does it look like?" Saito replied scornfully. "Just read it, would you?" Issei sighed, but unfurled the document and perused the contents.

"R&D issued a formal writ for their request," the dark-haired physician observed softly. "Lovely." He carefully placed the scroll back onto the table. And waited. Saito did his best to wait the Yuki scion out, but the rising color in his face suggested that he was quickly losing patience. "Kami-blast it, man, are you going to take the job or not?!" Issei perked an eyebrow at the outburst. Such a distasteful person, his boss. Part of him wondered why he'd hadn't realized it sooner. This demonstrable lack of self-control just didn't bode well for their interactions in the future. Especially promotions.

"Are you going to appoint me to a seat on the negotiating team?" The genin rejoined smoothly. The administrator guffawed. "What negotiating team?" He asked with ill-concealed amusement. "We're not negotiating with them. If need be, we'll just euthanize them and make more. It's not as though it's hard for the medical testing department to get a-hold of monkeys, after all." Issei stared at the man for several heartbeats, then reached out and claimed the mission scroll. "I am taking the mission," he said simply. Saito grinned as though he'd finally caught his prey. "Finally," the portly man said. "Now, I..."

Issei raised a single finger, causing his boss' - soon to be former boss' - words to die in his throat. Or perhaps it was the stony expression that graced the features of his subordinate. "As a shinobi of Kirigakure no Sato," he said softly. "My duty to the village takes precedence over the needs of my employer. Given the manner in which I have returned to active service, mission requirements are highly likely to preclude me from maintaining my position as a physician and medical researcher at Kirigakure General Hospital." Saito paled, his mouth dropping slightly open at his colleague's words. "Yuki..."

The dark-haired physician - because he was a physician, even if he didn't have anywhere to practice now that the hospital administrator had shown such disturbing intolerance and a clear lack of self-control - narrowed his eyes, causing Saito's mouth to clamp shut in surprisingly short order. Maybe he'd heard about that affair with the thief and the bucket on the bridge. "In light of this fact, I am tendering my resignation - effective immediately. As the ranking shinobi associated with this writ, I would like to request the cooperation of Kirigakure General Hospital with the operation. Not an uncommon occurrence, would you agree?"

The administrator gave his response through gritted teeth. "Y-yes..." Issei nodded smartly. "Good. Now, I believe that the hospital's board of directors and the village employer's association have a vested interest in being aware of a potential conflict between Kirigakure General and a worker's union - is that not so?" Clearly, Saito had just enough as much as he could handle. "But they're MONKEYS!" the man burst out incredulously. "It'd be like the fishermen negotiating with the damn fish! They're not actually workers, they're just..." The genin treated his former boss to the scornful look that his grandfather had once given him.

You know, the one that told you that you had just gone down a path you were going to regret? That look. Again, the administrator's next words faded before they could be given voice. "...just what, administrator?" The Yuki scion inquired softly, his composure seeming to be the calm that masked the approaching storm. "Animals? They are sufficiently sapient to organize under village law and sufficiently self-aware to have a concept of working conditions - never mind the fact that they have had regular access to most of the denizens' medical records for an extended period of time. They're a union."

The genin stood, gazing down at the portly man who once signed his quarterly performance reviews. "And they should be treated as a union in accordance with village law, lest the employer's association and board of directors find out that the hospital has begun a trend of union-breaking. It would not reflect well on the hospital, I don't imagine, if news of such a thing got out - wouldn't you agree?" Saito sputtered. "That's... you're... that's blackmail! Listen here, Yuki, you work for me, and I'll..." Issei ruthlessly cut in as the man drew a short breath. "I worked for you. Past tense."

The administrator's mouth worked silently as he tried to find something to say. "I fully expect," the physician continued, settling back into his chair as though Saito had never spoken in the first place. "That the hospital will follow the existing by-laws codified by the board of directors that relate to union negotiations. I'm afraid that I must insist on my presence at those negotiations, as they relate to village security. The team will need to defer to my judgement in related matters, for the good of the village. You understand, I'm sure?" Saito nodded, having sunken - defeated - into his chair.


The banana plantation was... actually quite beautiful, in a quaint and rustic way. It reminded Issei of his childhood and early adolescence, running about his grandfather's tea plantation outside Degarashi. Against his expectations, the genin saw no primates other than his companions as they made their way to the big house that served as the center of the island's operations. He'd insisted on going to meet the monkey representatives personally before giving his blessing for the negotiators to set foot on the island. Surprisingly, the union officials - pair of surprisingly well-cultured baboons - had consented without any attempt at evasion or obfuscation.

Issei had, of course, adopted another form immediately prior to his departure from the mainland. He'd grown accustomed to maintaining the henge and believed it wise to conceal his identity from those who he was about to meet - particularly if the village shinobi reacted in their traditional, bloody fashion. A few simple handseals renewed the technique as he walked along the island's palm-lined pathways. The negotiators largely ignored his presence, talking amongst themselves about the particulars of contract law as it related to non-human species. Surprisingly enough, there appeared to be a specialist in matters pertaining summoning races among the gathering.

All-in-all, this state of affairs suited the Yuki scion just fine. As the negotiations began - and legal types specializing in contracts began throwing terms at one another than went way over his head - the dark-haired genin took the opportunity to assess the primates with whom the hospital's people were meeting. Some of the representatives were more anthropomorphic than others, walking with grace that Issei generally associated with the summon races he'd seen at the Academy. Wait. What if these monkeys had ties to a group or clan that held a summoning contract? That would almost certainly explain their sudden, concerted unionization.

There were four primates that sat across the bargaining table from the representatives of Kirigakure no Sato. The first was a chimpanzee that walked fully erect - not hunched over, as so many of his kind were wont to do. Standing roughly four-and-a-half feet tall, the chimp's long arms were swiftly and efficiently utilized to distribute scrolls and papers among those present. Coarse, black hair covered his body, barring the face and pads of his extremities. A pair of reading glasses balanced on the end of its rounded nose in a fashion that hid a ferocious grin that showed off its incisors.

The second was a bonobo, his dark skin scarred from what could very well have been some manner of physical abuse - presuming that the injuries had originated while he was in captivity. It was, of course, also entirely possible that the scars were the result of dominance disputes within the primate hierarchy. Similar to the chimpanzee, this one was smaller and his fur was noticeably darker in hue when compared to his compatriot. He didn't even attempt to walk upright, preferring the more stereotypical 'knuckle walk' associated with most great apes. From his occasional snarls, the monkey wasn't fond of humans.

The third of the monkey representatives - and the ostensible leader - was a bulky orangutan that called itself "Mala." The gender was questionable, given that it referred to itself only in the third person. That said, the R&D designee on the negotiating team was far more interested in the capacity of the primate for human speech. The orangutan's cheeks flared outward on a semi-regular basis, though what that indicated was beyond Issei's ken. Downy orange fur covered the creature's body. Its bulk and fist-walking suggested that it would be a brutal combatant in close-quarters if this negotiation were to end violently.

The last of the primate negotiators was demonstrably female, surprisingly enough. Issei had been under the impression that monkey hierarchies favored males to a great degree. Yet, here she sat - living proof that meritocracy was not solely a human concept. The biggest of the representatives, she boasted the thickest and darkest hair. Almost five feet tall at the shoulder, Issei would've put her at around two hundred and fifty pounds on the outside... but still enough of a threat to warrant serious consideration in a combat scenario. Like most of her fellows, she seemed to prefer walking on her knuckles and fists.

Though Mala seemed to do all the talking, her fellows exchanged notes and meaningful glances in a fashion that suggested they were entirely capable of communicating with one another - and with the humans, more than likely, should they have cause to do so. Issei held his peace as he evaluated the situation. Given that there were only four primates present - human excluded - it was rather unlikely that this place served as their primary hub of operations. If the dark-haired physician were to hazard a guess, there was likely an observer or messenger waiting at a secondary location for the negotiators' return.

After all, it was what he'd do.

From his position near the door, the Yuki scion could just barely catch sight of a few of the notes that the primate group was passing back and forth between one another. The script was eerily familiar - it was the same alphabet and grammatical structure that most educated residents of the Elemental Nations learned early on in their careers. Moreover, the penmanship was of sufficient quality to suggest that all of these apes had possessed a high level of intelligence long before R&D got their hands on them as cheap labor and disposable research specimens.

Even more surprising, the kanji were written in a traditional form that largely went unused in the modern day - barring a handful of scholars who held to the old ways in an effort to boost their credibility. Luckily, Issei's old calligraphy tutor had been one such scholar and had ensured that his charge was painfully aware of the nuances of the script. It had been some time since the physician had occasion to peruse such erudite writings, but that was easily remedied with a bit of squinting and the occasional wracking of the brain to recollect the meaning of a brushstroke.

Mala's compatriots seemed to be discussing the movement of the clan to a more appropriate location. Several references to summoning jutsu effectively confirmed that they likely had some relation to a primate race that maintained a summoning contract with shinobi. While valuable information in and of itself, Issei was starting to get just a bit frustrated. All he needed was just one glimpse or slip-up, or even a distraction to provide an opportunity to riffle through the notes that the primates were so keen on utilizing during negotiations. The physician felt a surge of relief when they broke for lunch.

Two of the representatives from the monkey clan remained behind - the bonono and the gorilla. Mala and the fourth designee seemed content to take their meal with the hospital legal team - perhaps to gather information or otherwise leverage what Issei believed to be a rather positive impression. Issei left with the group, but then circled back around through judicious modification of his disguise via the henge... only to catch sight of the gorilla and bonono making their way into the forest. With luck, the primates wouldn't be so suspicious as to have disposed of their notes, charts, or assorted legal paperwork.

After slipping the lock on the plantation's back door - the old-fashioned way, for lack of an appropriate jutsu - the physician made his way back into the site of negotiations and began the tedious task of reviewing the paperwork which yet remained on the conference table. Amnog the myriad of notes, the man found repeated references to an area of the forest in the vicinity of the other plantation. It stood to reason - given that there was no sign of the human residents of this manor house - that the inhabitants of the neighboring property had also vacated the premises. Peacefully, he hoped.

After temporarily transforming himself into one of the more bipedal species of ape via the henge, Issei made his way out to the property line - casting his gaze over the scene that lay before him. Upwards of three hundreds primates of various shapes and sizes could be seen in the vicinity of the manor house, whether in the forest or in the fields. Part of him lamented his lack of experience with his elemental affinity at the sight, recognizing the ease with which this island could have been surveilled from the get-go. Nonetheless, it seemed he'd found the answer R&D needed.

Spoiler:

B - My Kingdom for a Banana (( +3000 WC, +7 AP, +3100 Ryo ))
C - Hunt the Thief (( +2000 WC, +5 AP, +2100 Ryo ))

Approved